“Give Yourself Permission to Change!”

“And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I Make All Things NEW…” (Revelation 21:5)

The Bible’s story is one of Change from Genesis, the book of “Beginnings,” to Revelation, where God Himself says: “…Behold, I make all things NEW…” 

Therefore, whatever your situation is today, Change Is Possible Through Him!

“It doesn’t matter where you are, you are nowhere compared to where you can go.” (Bob Proctor).

However often you’ve repented, confessed and tried changing, God Can Change What You Can’t – And He Can Make It Last!

The Scripture is Still True: “Now Unto Him That Is Able…” (Jude 24). The word “Able” means “Having the Power, Skill, or Means To Do Something; or to be Skillful and Competent”. Its Latin Origin “Habilis” literally means “Handy”. Therefore, Regardless to How Long You’ve Been Like This, or “Its” Been Like This, Your God Is Able to Change You and “It” For the Better! Because He Has the Power To Do It, He Has the Skill To Do It, He Has the Means To Do It, And He Is Competent Enough To Do It! So, Put It In His Hands, Because He Is Handy Enough to Handle It! It’s Time For You to Give Yourself Permission to Change!

I love Bikram Choudhury’s point of view on Change: “Never too old, never too bad, never too late, never too sick to start from scratch once again” So No More Excuse! It’s Time For You to Change!

However, Change Requires Understanding Certain Principles. Let’s see what they are:

 
1. YOU DON’T NEED TO CHANGE OTHERS IN ORDER TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE: “I’d be happier if only he’d stop…”; “Things won’t improve for me until she starts…” Such beliefs make you focus on the Problem and Not the Solution, Ignore Realistic Options and Feed Depression! Therefore, follow the admonition of the Word of God: “Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best YOU CAN WITH YOUR OWN LIFE” (Galatians 6:4-5 MSG). Instead of trying to change others, which only produces Resistance and Resentment, Let God Show YOU What YOU Need To Do Differently To Improve YOUR Handling Of The Problem! When You Stop Doing What Doesn’t Work and Change Your Reactions to the Problem, Others Often Change Spontaneously! “In a chronically leaking boat, energy devoted to changing vessels is more productive than energy devoted to patching leaks” (Warren Buffett). In other words, You’re Getting Nowhere Trying to Patch Up the Leaks In Other People’s Lives/Boats, Instead Reserve That Energy and Be More Productive By Changing Your Own Boat and Saving Your Own Life!
 
2. TRUE CHANGE BEGINS BY ADDRESSING YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD: Bitterness and Frustration over problems just result in distancing from God, leaving you to handle the issue in your own strength. Surrendering to Him Changes You Fundamentally, Challenging Pride, Envy, Resentment, Fear, Dishonesty, and the like…Which Are All Characteristics of Poor Management! “Let’s take a good look at the way we’re living and reorder our lives under God…” (Lamentations 3:40 MSG). With “…our lives under God…,” we’re more Honest, Self-Aware, Able to Perceive Realistically; We’re Respectful, and Prepared to Become A Better Person! But This Requires You To Tighten Your Relationship With The Lord! You Need Him Near For The Change To Take Place But You Have To Keep In Mind That the Bible Instructs Us:  “Come Near To God, And God Will Come Near To You…” (James 4:8 NCV). Did you recognize the order of Nearness however? The Responsibility Falls On YOUR Shoulders FIRST! “Come Near To God…” and AFTER you do “…God Will Come Near To You…” You See, The Only Thing Holding Up Your Process of Change, Is Your Procrastination to Come Near To God FIRST!  If you want Him to Come Near and Change You, You’ve FIRST got to Come Near Him In Communion!  So, Renew Your Relationship With Him, FIRST, and He Will Do The Rest!
 
3. YOU MUST BE WILLING TO CHANGE UNCONDITIONALLY: In the early stage of therapy counselors bump into the “Change-If” syndrome. The client sees change as a strategy of give-to-get: “I’ll change if they are willing to do…If not, I won’t” With God, your reward for changing is intrinsic. You get the joy of His approval, plus all the benefits that follow from being a Changed Person! This includes God’s Gift of “…salve to put on your eyes, so you can see” (Revelation 3:18 NIV). The ability to see things clearly will enable you to understand the problem and deal with it effectively, Regardless of What Someone Else Does, or Doesn’t Do! You Have to Want Change For Yourself, And Not Based On Anyone Else’s Actions, or Lack Thereof! So, Just In Case They Don’t Get Any Better Keep in mind: “Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together” (Marilyn Monroe). Whether the Friendship or Relationship Stays Intact Or Not, You Need to Make the Decision to Change Yourself, For Yourself, Unconditionally!
 
4. YOU MUST ACCEPT THE TRUTH THAT CHANGE MEANS LETTING GO OF THE PAST: Whatever You Cling To Ultimately Controls You! If the offense resulted from your actions, or the loss from your poor judgment, Confess It To God, Receive Forgiveness and Leave It At the Cross! If it was the other person’s fault but you’ve held onto it because you think you’re the innocent party and “deserve your pound of flesh,” Remember: the Freedom and the Options You Miss Are Too High a Price For the False Comfort of Being Right! “Be kind and compassionate to one another, Forgiving each other, just as in Christ God Forgave You” (Ephesians 4:32 NIV) Or better yet, another translation says it like this: “Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive One Another As Quickly And Thoroughly As God In Christ Forgave You” (MSG). This will Release You From the Chains of Resentment and Give You Back Your Future! If You’re Bound by Chains of Regret Over “coulda, shoulda, woulda,”! God Stands Ready to Make Your Future Better Than Your Past Could Ever Have Been! (Joel 2:25, “I’ll Make Up For The Years…” MSG). Dr. Maya Angelou said it best: “Someone was hurt before you, wronged before you, hungry before you, frightened before you, beaten before you, humiliated before you, raped before you…YET, Someone Survived…You Can Do Anything You Choose To Do” Therefore, Choose to Change Your Cold, Unforgiving Heart, and Enjoy a Better Life! Keep in mind: “Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward” (C.S. Lewis).
 
5. CHANGE MEANS ACCEPTING RISK: Your anxiety will kick in and say, “What if I don’t get the job? What if the economy fails? What if I make the effort to change but they don’t?” We like ironclad guarantees. The predictable always feels less threatening than sticking our necks out! But the Price of Our Security Often Means Remaining Stuck With the Status Quo! Sometimes Your Greatest Risk Is Taking No Risk At All! God Often Requires You to Leave the Path That Feels and Looks Safe, For the One That Feels and Looks Risky! Why? Because: “NOW FAITH is the assurance (the confirmation, the title deed) of the things [we] hope for, being the proof of things [we] do not see and the conviction of their reality [faith perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses” (Hebrews 11:1 AMP). Your Faith Is Full-Proof Assurance, God’s Confirmation, the Title Deed Guaranteeing That the Change You Want Will Take Place If You Act On It! “Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action” (Walter Anderson). “Change” in its simplest definition means “To Make Or Become Different” That’s all God is looking for you to do! Take a Risk and Do Something Different! After all, all that you have been doing up til now hasn’t worked, so What Have You Got To Lose? Ask yourself, “If I Dare to Change, What Could I Finally Gain?” “If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten” (Tony Robbins)
 
6. CHANGE WILL HAPPEN IF FAILURE IS NOT ALLOWED TO STOP YOU: Fear of Failing Often Stops Us From Trying, Yet Many of God’s Best People Experienced Failure On Their Way to Success! Consider Abraham, Moses, Elijah, David, etc…All of Them Succeeded Only AFTER Dealing With Personal Failure! Indeed, the Richest, Most Profound Change Often Happens AFTER We’ve Tasted Failure! Until then we tend to be cocky and of not much use to God! Peter failed the Lord miserably, and at the most crucial moment (Matthew 26:50, 72, “…some men came forward, took hold of Jesus, and arrested him…Again Peter denied it and swore with an oath, “I don’t know the man!”  GWT). But even after that, Peter grew, becoming Christ’s Choice to Lead His Newly Empowered Church On the Day of Pentecost, Winning Three Thousand Souls (See Acts 2)! So Don’t Let Failure Stop You! You Can Change! “Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you’re alive, IT ISN’T!” (Richard Bach) Yes, Even After All Your Failures, You Can Still Choose to Change!


In a Nutshell: You’ve been this way long enough! Therefore, no more excuses, reasons or justifications! Today simply determine to Change Your Life For the Better!

“Your Life Does Not Get Better By Chance, It Gets Better By Change” (Jim Rohn).

Today, Give Yourself Permission to Change! You Are Under NO Obligation to Stay the Same Way!

Much Love, Dr.Shermaine #InformativeRead #PleaseShare #HealthyBodySoulAndSpirit

"It's Not Selfish to Love Yourself, Take Care of Yourself and to Make Your Happiness a Priority. It's a Necessity." (Mandy Hale)

"Self-Care is Not Selfish. You Cannot Serve From an Empty Vessel." (Eleanor Brown)

“Release the OLD, Receive the New!”

Isaiah 43:16-21, “Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over OLD history. Be alert, BE PRESENT. I’m about to do something brand-NEW. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it? There it is!…” (MSG).

If we dared to be Truthful, All of us have chapters in our lives we wish we could rewrite!  

Dr. Harold Bloomfield says, ‘Unresolved emotional pain wreaks havoc on your immune system, cardiac function, hormone levels, and other physical functions. We Must Make Peace With Our Past Because Our Life May Literally Depend On It.‘

Since Getting Past Our Past is so Vital to Our Future, let’s look at a few things to Aid Us in Our Recovery.

To Get Past Your Past You Must:

1. RE-FRAME IT: The picture itself can’t be changed, But the Frame Can! So Determine to See It Differently, view it with a Better Perspective. Begin by asking: ‘How did it make me Stronger? What do I know now that I didn’t know then?’ And don’t focus on what you lost either, but only on what you’ve gained! A good friend taught me: “Look good and long through your windshield, but only glance through your rear-view”. Why? There’s always so much More in Front of you, than behind you! Rear-view mirrors are small (So Only Small Stuff is Behind You); your Windshield on the other hand, is Big and Wide and Focused Only on what’s Ahead, (That’s Your Future!). In other words, Learn to Obey the Word of God: “Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it? There it is!…” (Isaiah 43:16-21 MSG).

2. UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GUILT AND SHAME: Guilt is feeling bad about What You’ve Done – it’s Healthy; Shame is feeling bad about Who You Are – it’s Toxic and Debilitating! Whether we choose to admit it or not, All of us have things we’d like to change about ourselves, but keep in mind, when God created us He “…saw everything that He had made, and behold, it was Very Good (Suitable, Pleasant) and He Approved it Completely…‘ (Genesis 1:31 AMP). So, start seeing yourself as He sees you! In the words of the Men’s Warehouse commercial: “You’re gonna like the way you look. I guarantee it.”

3. STOP PUNISHING YOURSELF WITH THE ‘IF ONLY’S’: After stumbling badly and having God pick him up, David wrote, ‘BLESSED (HAPPY, fortunate, to be envied) is he who has Forgiveness of His Transgression Continually Exercised Upon Him, Whose Sin is Covered. Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) is the man to whom the Lord Imputes No Iniquity and In Whose Spirit There Is No Deceit.‘ (Psalm 32:1-2 AMP). Saints, Forgive Yourself; God Has! Because He sees you through the cross, you are ‘Accepted‘! (“to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He Made Us Accepted in the Beloved.” Ephesians 1:6 NKJV). As holy as He is, if He’s ‘Accepted’ you (All of You), Who Are You to Argue With His Final Decision?!

4. MOVE FROM PAIN TO GAIN: Healing takes time, so expect some anger, fear and sadness. Don’t Disown Them; They’re Part of the Process! But Don’t Adopt Them Either; Know When It’s Time to Move On! You Can’t Walk Backwards Into the Future, and the Future God has in mind contains more happiness than any past you can remember! “Do you not know that your body is the temple (the very sanctuary) of the Holy Spirit …” 1 Corinthians 6:19 AMP) And as the “Temple” of God, you need to daily remind yourself of the promise He made to another one of His Temples: “This Temple is going to end up Far Better Than It Started Out, a glorious beginning But An Even More Glorious Finish: a place in which I Will Hand Out Wholeness And Holiness…” (Haggai 2:9 MSG). However good, bad or ugly your past was, Your Future Is Guaranteed to be an Even More Glorious Finish Because You Are The TEMPLE of the Living God! And His Promise To His TEMPLE Is Secure!

5. ACCEPT WHAT HAPPENED: If You Don’t, You’ll Keep Reliving It! While working in the Congo as a missionary, Helen Roseveare was brutally raped. Writing about it she says, ‘I must ask myself, “Can I Thank God For Trusting Me With This Experience, Even If He Never Tells Me Why?”‘ The secret of trust doesn’t lie in Answers; It Lies In Acceptance! It’s knowing that in the midst of whatever has happened, is happening or will happen, God Is In Control! Either you fix your mind on that and determine to live again, or go through life feeling like you’ve never really lived at all! Helen Roseveare was able to move past her past of rape, Tamar on the other hand…Never Did! “Oh no, brother,” she said. “Please! This is an even worse evil than what you just did to me!” But he wouldn’t listen to her. He called for his valet. “Get rid of this woman. Get her out of my sight! And lock the door after her.” The valet threw her out and locked the door behind her. She was wearing a long-sleeved gown. (That’s how virgin princesses used to dress from early adolescence on.) Tamar poured ashes  on her head, then she ripped the long-sleeved gown, held her head in her hands, and walked away, sobbing as she went. Her brother Absalom said to her, “Has your brother Amnon had his way with you? Now, my dear sister, let’s keep it quiet—a family matter. He is, after all, your brother. Don’t take this so hard.” Tamar lived in her brother Absalom’s home, bitter and desolate.” (2 Samuel 13:18-20 MSG). How do you go from being a Kingdom Daughter of David to being a Kingdom Daughter of Desolation? The word 'desolate' is defined as 'giving an impression of bleak and dismal emptiness; utterly wretched and unhappy.' It's Latin Origin 'desolare' means 'abandon' from 'solus' meaning 'alone'. That is a brutal stark contrast from Helen Roseveare! Yet, many of you, just like Tamar, have yet to Get Past It! And so you’ve settled for allowing life to simply pass you by! Like Tamar, never again to be heard of. Her name is no longer mentioned. Her garments torn. Her suffering done in solitary confinement. No release. No freedom. Shackled in her mind, by the chains of an abusive past attack on her body! Listen: You don’t have to condone it or broadcast it, But You Have to Get Past It! The Kingdom has need of you, and you can be of no service to it locked away in a House of Past Hurts!  My Name continues to be heard today because I refused to allow a teenage rape to rob me of my identity as a Kingdom Daughter! Yes, it took many years, and lots of counsel and forgiveness to Get Past It, But I Did…and So Can You! Regardless to what your “IT” was, refuse to be like Tamar and forever live in the bondage of Past abuse! Yes, She ripped her gown, But That Didn’t Destroy It! Sow it back together again, and move on! Wash those ashes off your head, Your King Has Provided You With “…a crown of beauty Instead of ashes, the oil of joy Instead of mourning, and a garment of praise Instead of a spirit of despair…” (Isaiah 61:3 NIV). From that Scripture, my new favorite word is “INSTEAD”! It simply means “In Place Of” How Awesome Is That?! Whatever the “IT” was that brought you “ashes”; “mourning” and “despair”, Your King Has taken His “Crown of Beauty”; “Oil of Joy”; and “Garment of Praise”; and put it “In Place Of”! Now that’s shouting material right there! People of God, Accept What Happened…Once and For All…Then Finally, Totally, and Completely…Release It!

6. YOU MUST BURY THE PAST OR LIVE WITH ITS GHOSTS: Rehashing Old Hurts Is Like Watching the Same Movie Over and Over, Hoping for a Different Ending! It’s Not Going to Happen! Learn From It and Move On! You Don’t Drown by Falling Into the Water, You Drown by Staying There! Peter denied Jesus three times, although a repeat offender, he finally got it right and preached his best sermon! David was a repeat offender, and yet he recovered each time and maintained his kingdom! So Stop Counting Your Bones! Those That Matter, Don’t Care, and Who Cares About Those Who Don’t Matter?! Just pick ‘em up and throw ‘em out! Think about it: When someone dies, people don’t spend the rest of their lives hanging out in the cemetery, eating breakfast, lunch and dinner at the gravesite! NO! You go to the cemetery, bury what has died and leave! Bury that stuff, and leave it alone! “Jesus Refused. “First Things First. Your Business is Life, Not Death. Follow Me. Pursue Life.” (Matthew 8:22 MSG).

7. GET OUT OF THE BLAME GAME: Blame Is a Waste of Time! When you blame yourself you multiply guilt and shame, chain yourself to the past, and increase your already low self-esteem! When you blame God you cut yourself off from His power, doubt replaces trust, and you put down roots of bitterness that make you cynical! When you blame others you add to the distance between them and you, and lose the only option that works – Forgiveness! Instead, trust God’s Promise to you: “And He Who is seated on the throne said, See! I make all things new. Also He said, Record this, for these sayings are faithful (accurate, incorruptible, and trustworthy) and true (genuine).” (Revelation 21:5 AMP).

Listen, if you are under the faulty impression that you alone have a jacked-up past, might I give you a brief bible study from the family of Jesus? Now, most families like to keep their family secrets a secret. Yet amazingly, you’ve barely dipped a toe into Matthew’s gospel when you realize that Jesus Hails From a Less-Than-Perfect Family! Rahab was a Jericho harlot. Grandpa Jacob was slippery enough to warrant an electric ankle bracelet. David had a personality as irregular as a Picasso painting – one day writing Psalms, another day seducing his captain’s wife. One day dancing before the Lord with all his might, another day plotting pre-meditated murder. But did Jesus erase their names from the family tree? Absolutely Not! Why did He hang His family’s dirty laundry on the neighborhood clothesline? Because Your Family Has Secrets Too! A cousin with a prison record. A dad who left and never came home. A crack-head brother. A promiscuous sister. A drunk father. A beaten mother. A dead-beat baby daddy. A sorry baby momma. An uncle who ran away with a co-worker. Come on, if the truth be told, some of our lists are even longer more complicated than that! In other words, Jesus Held On To the Nuts in His Family Tree, Surely You Can Hold On To Yours, Even if YOU are the Biggest Nut! You see, if Jesus, the Savior, the Son of the Living God, was attached to some crazy people, most of whom where His family members, what makes you think you, your past, or your family is to be any different?

And just in case you need some more encouragement, here it is: Paul was the chief of sinners; Gideon was a scaredy cat; Peter was a liar; Moses was angry; Miriam was jealous; Rebekah was manipulative; Rachel & Leah were rival sisters sleeping with the same husband and bargaining for nights of sex; Abigail was married to a fool; Eli was a leader who couldn’t get his own sons to follow; Elijah was suicidal; Solomon had more women then a New York pimp; David was too dumb to realize he was the answer to Nathan’s riddle; Cain took sibling rivalry past anything seen on Jerry Springer; Amnon raped his own sister; Absalom tried to take the throne from his own father; Judah slept with his own daughter in law, who he thought was a prostitute, when in fact she set him up with her own CSI evidence; Josephs’ brothers wanted him dead over a coat and a dream and Saul had the personality of Sybil. And you think you got problems?!          

And yet, inspite of all these Nuts in the family tree, We’re All Still Apart of the Family, and God Has Not Erased Our Name, But In Fact Took the Time to Write It In the Lamb’s Book of Life!

One of the greatest things you can do for yourself is to get past your past. If Jesus can accept the mess He has in His genealogy, and He’s the Son of God, surely you can accept yours. It doesn’t matter what you did, who you did it with, how long you did it, or where you did it – the fact of the matter is God is more concerned with your end then your beginning. He’s more concerned by how you finish then how you started. You are a part of the family of God, and nothing in your past can remove you from the family tree. 

Keep In Mind: If the Divine had nuts in His family tree, what made you think you’d only have beautiful fruit?!

People of God, this is a New Day, a New Month, and soon we’ll be embarking on a New Year. Do you really want to bring the OLD into your NEW? Do you really want to keep carrying unnecessary baggage? Do you really want to continue being Overweight, carrying around all those extra Pounds of Guilt, Shame, Regret, Defeat, Depression, Fear, and Embarrassment? I think not. So, let today be the day you Begin Again. Let it all go, and go forward! The only reason you’re constantly seeing the same-ole-same-ole is because you keep spending so much time walking backwards into your past. Why not start today by looking in the direction your going…Forward! Truth be told, what’s coming is so much better than what’s been. And your future is bigger, better and greater than the mere momentary experiences of your past. Get ready to experience NEW! Forgive yourself, forgive them, and move forward, your future can’t wait to meet you! It’s in high anticipation of your expected arrival! Don’t let it or yourself down! Get Past Your Past and Move Forward Into a Future That God Assures Has Great Plans, Hope and Promise!

Jeremiah 29:10-11, “This is God’s Word on the subject…I’ll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” (MSG)

“It’s difficult to attract new and better things into your life if you keep hanging on to the stories that no longer serve you. When we do that, it’s like we’re putting up a barrier between us and what we really want. Release and allow yourself to fully Receive the goodness that is coming your way, Now!” (Rebekah Stephenson)

“Today I choose to: receive the healing; receive the release; receive the peace; to embrace the brand new me.” (Judy Thotho)

“I release all things from the past year that has caused any negative attachment. I prepare and welcome new changes, new lessons and new adventures. I welcome new opportunities to grow emotionally, mentally and spiritually.” (Pinterest)

“Release bitterness, forgive those who have hurt you, let go of disappointment, and start living in faith.” (Billy Cox)

“Sometimes you don’t realize the weight of something you’ve been carrying until you feel the weight of its release.” (Pinterest)

“Let today be the day you finally release yourself from the imprisonment of past grudges and anger. Simplify your life. Let go of the poisonous past and live the abundantly beautiful present…today.” (Dr. Steve Maraboli)

“Release the Past; Capture the Present; and Embrace the Future.” (Billy Cox)

“You leave old habits behind by starting out with the thought, ‘I release the need for this in my life.” (Dr. Wayne W. Dyer)

“In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life.” (Mary Manin Morrissey)

“Forgive yourself first. Release the need to replay a negative situation over and over again in your mind. Don’t become a hostage to your past by always reviewing and reliving your mistakes. Don’t remind yourself of what you should have, could have or would have been. Release it and let it go. Move on.” (Les Brown)

“I now gently release the grip of anger and rage; sorrow and suffering; shame and guilt from every fiber of my mind, heart and being.” (Iyanla)

“Are you holding onto emotional baggage? It is time to get to the root of the problem. You have the right to set yourself free.” (Wendy Nicole Anderson)

“Don’t let past relationships and old mistakes ruin your future. Don’t let someone or something that didn’t make it in your life continue to hurt you. If you do, you’re still giving a portion of your life to something that no longer exists – it’s like letting your happiness slip into a black hole. Learn the lesson, release the pain, and move on. Scars remind us of where we have been, not where we are headed.” (Positive Outlooks)

Much Love, Dr.Shermaine #InformativeRead #PleaseShare #HealthyBodySoulAndSpirit

"It's Not Selfish to Love Yourself, Take Care of Yourself and to Make Your Happiness a Priority. It's a Necessity." (Mandy Hale)

"Self-Care is Not Selfish. You Cannot Serve From an Empty Vessel." (Eleanor Brown)