If a daughter’s self-worth is in fact shaped by her father’s influence, Leah was out of luck, because her father Laban didn’t think that much of her!
After making a deal with Jacob to marry her sister Rachel, Laban tricked him and he ended up with Leah. And if you’ve ever wrestled with low self-esteem, like I have, then you can guess how Leah felt. Here she was preparing for her wedding day, knowing she was the “loser’s prize”. Just imagine waiting all your life to get married, only to discover that your dreams will never be realized, because your husband loves somebody else!
And if you think that’s bad, hold on…it gets worse for Leah! You see Jacob spent the wedding night with Leah, not even recognizing her until the morning when he complained to Laban, “I served you for Rachel…why have you deceived me?” And even after discovering he’d been sleeping with Leah, Jacob still wanted her sister! Talk about a kick in the gut!
Leah was intimate with a man who couldn’t appreciate who she really was; a man who took what he wanted without even looking into her eyes—far less her soul! Maybe you haven’t been there, but I have. In a relationship with someone who didn’t really know you and makes no effort to find out about you. Yes, I was certainly able to relate to Leah. Back then I wish I knew the value of the quote: “To wish you were someone else is to waste the person you are”
But the good news is, while Leah spent years being invisible to Jacob, she wasn’t invisible to God! And neither are you!
I spent years attempting to escape being alone, by settling for a man that didn’t love me and proved it by cracked ribs, a busted lip and black eye! Yep, believe it or not, I short-changed myself for many years, my 20’s were a disastrous mess, an emotional roller coaster, a mental train wreck! But even if that’s not your testimony, know that in whatever way, shape or form the enemy has pushed you aside, pulled you back and put you down, God has given you gifts, ministry and purpose, and when it comes forth, it’ll change the direction of your entire life! I Promise! After all, I’m A Witness and Living Testimony!
Women of God, understand this and never forget it, no matter how messed up your “Chest” looks, there’s still “Treasure” inside! So never lessen your original value by becoming a cheap copy of anyone else!
After all, “why compare yourself with others in the first place, no one in the entire world can do a better job of being you than YOU!”
However, the Scripture goes on to say: “Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel was lovely.” (Genesis 29:17)
When Jacob first saw Rachel, she took his breath away. Think about it: Any time a man’s willing to work 7 years for a woman, and then 7 more on top of that after being cheated, he’s definitely in love! Sadly enough, it’s a sacrifice that is rarely seen even in most ‘Christian Marriages’ today!
Leah, whose name means “gazelle,” translated “lanky” was also “tender eyed” or had “weak eyes”, but Rachel was “lovely.”
Sisters, while others may judge you based on your Looks, God Never Does! To tell you the truth, I allowed for years my self-esteem to be beaten into the ground because of acne, missing teeth, height, weight etc. When in the end, God didn’t care one bit about any of it! None of these things were factors in Designing My Destiny…nor is it relevant in designing yours!
1 Samuel 16:7, “But God told Samuel, “Looks aren’t everything. Don’t be impressed with his looks and stature. I’ve already eliminated him. God judges persons differently than humans do. Men and women look at the face; God looks into the heart.” (MSG)
And with that said, I really had to work hard on building good self-esteem. And that Included dealing with some of the External stuff too. But then I found out something that made me a little sad. After the acne cleared, and the teeth were fixed, and the weight was at a size 8 and I even became comfortable with my little 5 foot 2 stature, I discovered I was Still Unhappy! Because the bottom line was, even though I felt demeaned by being attacked based on External issues, My True Battle Was Internal!
Even when all those things that I Thought, “if I could just Fix this I will Finally be Happy”, were finally fixed, happiness was still out of reach. I Had to Learn to Love Me From the Inside…Out! And once I became comfortable and confident in Who I am in God and How He sees me, the outer no longer mattered at all! In fact, I found myself happy even on a day when a perm was needed, no make-up was applied and a raggedy sweat suit was my garment! I could still go to the supermarket walking like America’s Next Top Model, in flip flops no less! LOL!
Why do I share all this? Because, far too many of us as women are spending our entire 401K trying to beautify hair, skin, teeth, weight, clothes, nails, eyelashes, etc…but still at the end of the day, we hop in a shower to safely cry where no one will hear or see our painful self-pity tears.
It’s because the Outward has no power, only the Inner man does! Who you are on the INSIDE is who you really are. Proverbs 23:7, “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he…” (KJV) The Good News Translation reads, “…What he thinks is what he really is.” (GNT) That’s why it’s not enough to simply work on your outer man, because it’s your inner man that gives you your real identity. What you say to yourself and about yourself matters more than you will ever know! Which is why you’ll find so many women who are rich and ‘aesthetically beautiful’, yet miserable and depressed. You see, the word ‘aesthetic’ means nothing more than ‘a pleasing appearance, or appearing pleasant or beautiful.’ It’s Greek origin is, ‘aisthetikos’, from ‘aisthesthai’ meaning ‘to perceive as.’ In a nutshell: It’s nothing more than a person’s perception that appearing pleasant and beautiful is acceptable and enough, when that couldn’t be further from the truth. Having it altogether on the outside, means absolutely nothing if you’re not working on getting it together on the inside. Sisters, don’t simply appear beautiful or happy, but make inner changes so that you can actually BE it genuinely.
Beautifying the outer man is surface stuff, there’s no depth and no meaning to it. The reality is, even if Leah was beautiful, Jacob had already set his eyes on Rachel.
The core issue wasn’t how Leah looked, the core issue was how she Felt (Inwardly) Unloved and Invisible (as many women feel today). The Bible says, in Leah’s own words: “…Because the LORD heard that I Am Not Loved…” (Genesis 29:33 NIV). And unfortunately when we feel that way, instead of fixing the internal break down, we build up the external! And that’s not going to make you truly happy in the end!
Therefore, get past “How” you look and focus on “Who” you are! And surely you must know that you are more than hips, lips and fingertips!
In fact, God sees so much in you that He even calls you “Daughter”! 1 Peter 3:4-6, “Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in. The holy women of old were beautiful before God that way, and were good, loyal wives to their husbands. Sarah, for instance, taking care of Abraham, would address him as “my dear husband.” You’ll be true daughters of Sarah if you do the same, unanxious and unintimidated.” (MSG); 2 Corinthians 6:14-18, “…Don’t link up with those who will pollute you. I want you all for myself. I’ll be a Father to you; you’ll be sons and daughters to me…” (MSG); Psalm 45:13, “Glorious is the King’s daughter within [the palace]; Her robe is interwoven with gold.” (AMP)
Yes, with your hair looking a hot mess, your crooked teeth, your chubby tummy, shaky thighs, flabby arms, acne face, blemished back, chipped nails and freckled nose! With all that, you are Still a King’s Daughter! So even when you are Invisible to a Man, there is One Man That Considers You the Apple of His Eye! You my sister, are Both Jesus’ Joy and Jewel and if that’s not enough, Nothing Ever Will Be!
Bottom Line: God knew that Rachel’s treasure was ON her, while Leah’s was IN her! And there’s a Huge Difference between the two, so let no one tell you otherwise! Remember: What’s IN you will always amount to far more than what’s ON you! So before you go taking out a second mortgage to get a high-tech weave thinking that’s going to make you beautiful, go a cheaper but more valuable route. Beautify your spirit, purify your heart, wash your thoughts, exfoliate your emotions, put a mask on your mouth and get rid of your negative toxic talk, massage away all insults that wounded your soul. Treat your inner man to a spiritual spa day!
Get this: before the world began, God chose you for a specific purpose. And although her husband Jacob didn’t notice her, Leah already had a great role in God’s plan. The Bible says, “When the LORD saw Leah was unloved, he made it possible for her to have children, but Rachel had none.” (Genesis 29:31 GWT). God blessed Leah so much that her sons founded 6 of Israel’s 12 tribes, compared to Rachel’s 2! Not bad for an unloved, invisible “loser!”
Listen: Before Leah was Laban’s daughter or Rachel’s sister or Jacob’s wife, she was God’s Idea—and He Never has a bad one! Before time began, her identity was determined by Him! And so was yours! He “…knows you by name and you have found favor…” with Him (Exodus 33:12).
Today God has placed something inside you that He wants to bring to birth. And the Bible says everything God makes is indeed “…very good…” (Genesis 1:31), and it’s time you started seeing yourself that way too…”…VERY GOOD…”!
God knows what’s IN you, that’s why He wants to change your self-image, so you can appreciate your unique gifts and qualities.
Sisters, You are Valuable and Visible to God! It’s time now for you to SEE it For Yourself!
Homework (From Inspiration to Application):
1. Have you ever felt unloved and invisible to your spouse? How did you handle it?
2. Do you make the mistake of comparing yourself to other women? Why or Why Not?
3. Has another woman been chosen over you? How did you handle it? How did it make you feel?
4. When you don’t feel beautiful what do you do?
5. Have you ever made the mistake of settling for sloppy seconds? If so, why and what are your regrets?
6. What do you do to keep your self-esteem strong?
7. What do you attempt to change about yourself because you think it will make you happier?
8. How do you handle criticism about your looks (hair, clothing choices etc)?
9. If you battle low self-esteem, when do you think it started? What was the defining moment that first lowered your self-worth?
10. Out of 100%, what percentage would you say is how much you work on your outer self and what percentage would you say is how much you work on your inner self? Remember, honesty and help go hand-in-hand.
11. How do you honestly see yourself?
12. How do you honestly think God sees you?
The answers are not as important to me as they need to be to you. So take the time to answer yourself honestly about yourself. Then start seeking God, and godly counsel if needed, so you can feel good and be good, not just look good! You don’t want to live your whole life appearing a way that you could authentically be living, if only you’d take the time to take care of you, Body, Soul, Spirit, Mind, and Heart. Don’t you think it’s high time for you to be happy, inside and out, for real?! Today, don’t make it about getting a man’s attention, make it about giving yourself your own undivided attention! You’re already visible to God, He always sees you and He loves what He sees, because after all, what He sees is His own ‘image and likeness’! And if He’s good, and everything He created is good, you do know that includes you right?! Self-Esteem is about YOU making YOU a better version of YOU! No outside aesthetics, no one else’s opinions, ideas, or status. But Self-Esteem, is loving you and enjoying learning to take better care of you. Remember: God sees you, the real you, flawed, messed up, jacked up, screwed up, imperfect, and yet He still loved you enjoy to send His Son to die to save your life and soul! And Jesus loves you enough that He refused to even allow a man to take His life, but He willingly laid it down just for you. And the Holy Spirit, He loves you enough to live in you, talk to you, guide and guard you always! Girl, YOU have the full attention of the Godhead, so don’t you dare ever again feel unloved, unimportant or invisible!
Devotional Quotes:
“Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing” (Pinterest)
“If you aren’t good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone, since you’ll resent the time and energy you give another person that you aren’t giving to yourself” (Barbara DeAngelis)
“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance” (Oscar Wilde)
“Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else” (Judy Garland)
“The most important opinion you have is the one you have of yourself, and the most significant things you say all day are those things you say to yourself” (Unknown Author).
“Even when you feel unseen, you are never invisible to God.” (Pinterest)
“Regardless of whether people see or care, never forget that God sees every little detail of your life. Nothing goes unnoticed by Him. Even if you feel like you are invisible to the world, you are never invisible to Him.” (DaughterByDesign)
“You are not invisible to God. You are loved and chosen…His beloved.” (Christine Caine)
Much Love, Dr.Shermaine #InformativeRead #PleaseShare #HealthyBodySoulAndSpirit #BeEncouraged #YouAreLoved #GodSeesYou
"It's Not Selfish to Love Yourself, Take Care of Yourself and to Make Your Happiness a Priority. It's a Necessity." (Mandy Hale)
"Self-Care is Not Selfish. You Cannot Serve From an Empty Vessel." (Eleanor Brown)
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