The holiday season isn't wonderful for everyone. For some,
holiday depression makes this time of year debilitating, and difficult to
experience. In this episode of Deep Dives, we speak with Gail Saltz, M.D.
regarding holiday depression and seasonal depression, and her take on how to
manage stress during this time of year. Here are six tips to help avoid potential
triggers and keep holiday depression at bay.
WHAT IS DEPRESSION,
AND DOES IT REALLY GET WORSE DURING THE HOLIDAYS? While holiday
depression is not an official clinical diagnosis, the holiday season is full of
potential depression triggers. "Depression that occurs around the holidays
sometimes gets called holiday depression," Gail Saltz, MD, a psychologist
and host of the Personology podcast, tells Health. "It is
important to delineate whether this occurs every year in the winter, because if
so, this may actually be seasonal affective disorder. But if not, it may be
depression exacerbated by stressors related to the holidays."
MAKE PLANS AHEAD
OF TIME: Spend some time
figuring out how to take care of yourself during this time, John Sharp, MD, a
psychiatrist at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston, tells Health.
Come up with restorative routines, such as reading a book or napping, and write
them on a calendar. In between shopping and baking, make sure these routines
don't fall by the wayside. "Figure out what basics are going to help you
get through the holidays and make them a priority," Dr. Sharp says.
AVOID FAMILY
CONFLICT AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE: There are a couple ways to save your sanity at family
gatherings, Jeffrey Greeson, PhD, assistant professor of psychiatry and
behavioral sciences at Duke University School of Medicine in Durham, N.C.,
tells Health.
If you know there are going to be conflicts, prepare a neutral response, such
as, "Let's talk about that another time," or, "I can see how you
would feel that way." Then escape to the restroom, offer to help in the
kitchen, or go hang out with the kids. And it always helps to call a good
friend if you need a sympathetic ear.
FOCUS ON THE
GOOD: Specifically, focus
on the good people in
your life. The holidays can be immensely stressful if you don't see eye-to-eye
with your family members and yet end up spending large amounts of time with
them (especially if you're all staying under one roof). If this scenario is
stressful for you, it's extra important to think about the people and things
that don't stress
you out during this time. "That's where we should put our energy,"
Scott Bea, PsyD, a psychologist at Cleveland Clinic, tells Health. "Let things be less than ideal. Let them
feel a little broken," Dr. Bea says. However, make it a point to
intentionally focus on people in your life who "lift you up.”
DROP
PERFECTIONISM: Debbie Thurman, a 57-year-old from Monroe, Va., suffered from
depression for years, and the holidays made it worse. From decorating to
finding the perfect gifts, she felt overwhelmed. At a support group's
suggestion, she listed the simple things that really made her family happy, and
she began traditions that helped the less fortunate. "When you take your
eyes off of yourself and focus on those who have far less than you do, you
can't be depressed," she says. "I learned to be grateful for the
blessings I had, and I had a lot.”
LEARN HOW TO
GRIEVE: If you are mourning
a loved one, it's a good time to talk about your feelings or reach out to
support groups. "There's no one right way to feel," Deborah Jonsson,
public relations manager at Avow Hospice, in Collier County, Florida,
tells Health.
It's not uncommon to feel angry at the person for leaving you alone or feeling
guilty if you do enjoy yourself during the holidays. "All feelings are a sign that you're human and reflect where you
are in your healing process," Jonsson says.
GET ENOUGH SLEEP: Holiday activities easily can interfere with your
sleep schedule. But studies have shown there is a link between sleep loss and
depression, so you need to be extra careful about cutting back on sleep to get
everything done. Try to get to bed and wake up at approximately the same time
every day; avoid large meals and physical activity such as dancing within a few
hours of bedtime; and make your bedroom a sleep sanctuary, free from TV or
other distractions, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
LIMIT MEDIA
CONSUMPTION: Let's be real—the
holidays can make you feel lonely. Advertising campaigns showing happy couples
and family units can really do a number on you if you're depressed. "If
you're depressed, [what you're feeling] is in contrast to what appears to be
going on everywhere else," explains Dr. Bea. Social media (and other types
of media), can often emphasize feelings of loneliness, which is why you need to
be mindful of how much of said media you're consuming. If you get sad when you
log onto Facebook, pay attention to that feeling, and consider changing your
media consumption habits. "You have to have a plan. Rather than merely
being victimized, have a plan on how you're going to approach this. Limit the
degree to which social media" has power over your feelings, says Dr. Bea.
DON’T BE AFRAID
TO ASK FOR HELP: When Thurman's
children were young, she and her husband lived far away from their extended
family. When she needed support during "black bouts of depression,"
she leaned on close friends. She and her husband had two couples in particular
that helped them through difficult times. "These friends were
godsends," she says. "I credit them with quite possibly helping to
save my life," she says. "I also drew encouragement from a small
support group of women who were dealing with depression.”
MAKE EXERCISE A
PRIORITY: Exercise—one of the
first activities to get lost in the holiday shuffle—should be placed high on
your to-do list. "The more stress we are under, the less time we feel like
we have, and the more irritated our mood, the more we need to continue
exercising," Greeson says. "Get out and do something; it helps use
those calories from rich, fatty, sugary holiday foods." Exercise has been shown to improve mood. Taking a
brisk walk for 35 minutes five days a week (or 60 minutes three times a week)
can do the trick.
CONSIDER YOUR
LIGHT EXPOSURE: If you are
consistently tired, irritable, and down at this time of year, it may not be due
to the holidays as much as to the lack of exposure to the sun, Dr. Sharp says.
Seasonal affective disorder, or SAD, can be treated by long walks during
daylight hours or exposure to a light box for about 30 minutes a day. If you
think you may be suffering from SAD, talk to your doctor about treatment
options.
MAKE
NON-HOLIDAY PLANS: It can be good to intentionally turn your attention away from
the holidays, says Dr. Bea. This can be especially useful for people who
struggle with depression that's related to the holidays. "It's hard to
avoid the awareness of the holidays," Dr. Bea admits. However, that
doesn't mean you can't escape them for a little while by busying yourself with
unrelated activities. If being social keeps you comfortable, consider making
plans with friends that have nothing to do with the holidays. Dr. Bea
recommends exploring any activity that pulls you outside yourself, which will
disconnect you from your depression.
FOCUS
ON WHAT REALLY MATTERS: The holidays shouldn't be all about the presents, but financial
woes can make it easy to lose sight of that. Rein in the stress (and cost) by
organizing a gift exchange with friends or family. You can also bake your gifts
or create traditions such as having a large potluck meal followed by a walk
outside or board games by the fire. "I
think saying no is more of a relief instead of stretching and spending more
than you have and still not doing enough," Dr. Sharp says.
DON’T BINGE ON
FOOD OR ALCOHOL: For some,
overindulgence is as much of a holiday tradition as opening gifts. Carmen
Harra, PhD, an author and psychologist in Hollywood, Florida, recommends more
restraint. "Have one piece of pie, not three," Dr. Harra tells Health.
"Apart from being unhealthy for your body, you will feel guilty
afterward." Harra recommends preparing for holiday dinners by eating
healthy meals the week prior. And don't use alcohol to deal with holiday depression.
Alcohol can intensify your emotions and leave you feeling worse when it wears
off.
CUT BACK ON
COMMITMENTS: If you feel like you just can't
get through one more holiday gathering, it's OK to sit them out. "One of
the things about holiday stress we forget is that Thanksgiving and
Christmas are both 24 hours and that's it," Pauline Wallin, PhD, an author
and clinical psychologist in Camp Hill, Penn, tells Health.
Wallin recommends figuring out what you need to get through those 24 hours,
such as volunteering, going on vacation, or visiting a shelter or someone who
is alone. Focusing on others can help alleviate depression.
BY Tammy Worth, Health Magazine, Updated
November 10, 2020
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