"15 Things You Should Do Before You Turn 50"

 

Approaching midlife can be scary, especially if you look back over your life and wonder what could’ve happened instead of what you actually did. As so many celebrities have turned 50 recently, it made me wonder what did I do over my lifetime. With that thought, I decided to create a list of things that I think everyone should do before the age of 50.

15. Get Lost (For real!)

One thing that makes it scarier is feeling like you haven’t accomplished all the life stuff you set out to do in your teens or 20s. By now, you may have seen more of other parts of the world than you’ve actually seen of your own hometown because you’ve been a good little Pythagorean and mastered the straight line between A and B and never got beyond point C. But now is the time to get lost, at least metaphorically. Take that road you’ve never taken. Go to work by bus instead of train. Or get really radical and walk somewhere. Mix it up. And be sure not to plan too much.

14. Use your passport

Many of us have a passport “just in case,” but instead of waiting to win the lottery or for a lonely millionaire with a yacht to show up on your doorstep, take control of your vacations and book a trip out of the country. And yes, Canada and Mexico count, and will definitely stamp your passport. Or consider going to the place you always dreamed of as a child or the country of your ancestors.

13. Get a new hobby (again)!

Ok, so you probably have a collection of these shoes and comic books, or like to do certain activities over and over again and that’s great, but what about something new? It’s time to see if you like doing something else continuously. What else out there might bring you joy? Find out just by seeing what other people’s hobbies are and then trying them for yourself.

12. Wear that outfit, no matter what anybody says

We unconsciously do things by thinking about what other people think. Like when we buy or try on clothes, we usually have this thought in mind: “What will people think or say when I wear this?” Well, at age 50 it’s time to do it if you like it! So what if they talk?! Live your best life and that includes wearing something that brings joy to you and nobody else.

11. Write a will

No one wants to think about death but Newsflash: It’s gonna happen. Probably not today and hopefully not soon but death comes for everyone eventually. And when it does, do you want your kids’ most poignant memory of that time to be the gigantic fight over your collection of rare pickle jars? So sit down, write up a will allocating the important stuff, sign it (preferably in the presence of a notary), and then tell everyone you care about where it is.

10. Fight for something you believe in

It’s time. Time to stop sitting on the sidelines and wondering “What if?” It’s time to do more than just post a picture on social media or just say that you’re praying for some cause. It’s time to do something about it. Go, write that senator a letter, demand change from your city councilmen and women, and find out how you can make a change in your community. You ARE an agent of change, so let’s do something.

9. Get therapy

If your immediate question is “Why would I need therapy?” perhaps you should really ask: "Why wouldn't you need therapy?" Even if your life is going great at the moment, everyone has their ups and downs, and a professional can help you strengthen your inner reserves and develop better coping skills. Plus, when else are you not only allowed but expected to talk about nothing but yourself for an hour?

8. Bless a complete stranger

Let’s say you’ve done pretty well in life, climbed the corporate ladder, made it to the top, and love the view. Congratulations. Now what? Compassion for those who didn’t catch the same breaks is a pretty good place to start the cool-down from your career marathon. The next time you dine out, look for someone who is alone, perhaps sad or troubled or less fortunate than yourself, and pay their waiter for their meal, anonymously. It might make a difference in their life and it will certainly make a difference, for the better, in yours.

7. Pay off your credit cards

Over half of Americans report “substantial” worries about money, according to a recent Gallup poll. And one of the biggest causes of money woes is debt, particularly credit card debt. Thanks to their ease of use (swiping a card almost doesn’t feel like spending money at all!) and low-interest rates, it’s easy to quickly rack up more debt than you know how to do with.

6. Volunteer at a homeless shelter

Once you’ve been established with a home and a job for a long time, it can be easy to forget how close we all really are to the edge. Share what you’ve been given with those less fortunate for an instant priority check and to do a little good in the world.

5. Be an election judge

Want an insider look at how our election process works on the ground level? Sign up to work as an election judge. Don’t worry, it doesn’t involve any actual “judging,” but rather making sure the voting process runs in an orderly and proper manner. You get to see all the ins and outs while still providing a vital service to your community. To sign up, Google “election judge” and enter your state for instructions.

4. Forgive someone

Pick someone from your past who you feel deserves to be forgiven for a previous wrong. Or, better yet, pick someone who doesn’t deserve it and forgive them anyhow. Even if it means nothing to them, it will make you feel so much lighter.

3. Plant a garden

You learn about the plant life cycle as a child but you can’t fully appreciate the magic of it until you’re an adult and have nurtured a plant from seed to maturity. Gardening—or as we like to call it, playing in the dirt—is one of the oldest hobbies for a reason. It’s good for your mind, body, and soul, especially if you reap what you sow.

2. Apologize for something you did wrong

According to marketing communications professional Kerry O’Malley, the steps to a successful apology at work include acting quickly, showing up in person, explaining what happened and how you’re going to avoid the problem in the future, saying “I’m sorry,” and making restitution. Not only will apologizing help the person who was offended forgive you; but it may also help soothe your guilty conscience.

1. Fall in Love (again)

Even if it’s falling in love with yourself (forgiving yourself is something we all need to do), fall in love with someone, kiss them like you mean it and tell them every chance you get just how much you love them.  This time, don’t just tell them, show them that you love them too. If they don’t get it, it’s cool because you have a lot of love to give.

BlackDoctor.Org, July 11, 2023 , by: Gemma Greene, BDC Staff Writer

Much Love, Dr.Shermaine, #InformativeRead #PleaseShare #HealthyBodySoulAndSpirit #IWantYou2LiveWell #FeelFree2SignUpAndFollow

The Goal is to Always Make You Aware of What Concerns Your Body, Soul and Spirit, So You Can Have Open, Honest and Frequent Discussions With Your Physicians and Counselors. You Can’t Treat or Cure What You Don’t Know is Sick.
 
"It's Not Selfish to Love Yourself, Take Care of Yourself and to Make Your Happiness a Priority. It's a Necessity." (Mandy Hale)

"Self-Care is Not Selfish. You Cannot Serve From an Empty Vessel." (Eleanor Brown)

The contents of the BlackDoctor.Org and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine Sites, such as text, graphics, images, and other material contained on the WebMD and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine Sites ("Content") are for informational purposes only. The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on the WebMD and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine Sites!

If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately. WebMD and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine does not recommend or endorse any specific tests, physicians, products, procedures, opinions, or other information that may be mentioned on the Sites. Reliance on any information provided by WebMD, WebMD employees, others appearing on the Site at the invitation of WebMD, and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine or other visitors to the Sites is solely at your own risk.  

"The Ups and Downs of Being Disconnected"

 

You brought your computer home from work “for 2 weeks” in March 2020 and stayed home for 2 years. Schools went virtual. Club meetings got canceled. Gyms closed. Friends and family became off-limits. Remember avoiding other people on the street? It’s gotten better since the outbreak, but we’ve remained in relative isolation far longer than expected. And that’s a little sad – and bad for us. Turns out avoiding a virus can harm your health, because togetherness and connection are foundations of our well-being. “We as humans are engineered by evolution to crave contact with other humans,” says Richard B. Slatcher, PhD, a professor of psychology at the University of Georgia. “This has been called the ‘need to belong,’ and it’s up there as a basic need with food and water.” Makes sense: Primitive humans who banded with others were more likely to find food, protect each other, and survive to pass along their genes, he says.

When we were suddenly thrust into isolation in 2020, social ties were already fraying. The book Bowling Alone came out 2 decades earlier. Author Robert D. Putnam lamented the decline in “social capital,” the value we get from connections and our sense of community support. The Atlantic ran a story called "Why You Never See Your Friends Anymore" months before any of us heard of COVID-19. The pandemic sped up those feelings of isolation. Even after getting vaccinated and boosted, many of us feel we’re not connecting as we would like. And for some, politics has deepened that divide.

Should we care? Yes, say the experts. Social relationships are strongly linked to health and longevity. A famous study published in 2010 in PLOS Medicine concluded that social connections were as important to health as not smoking and more impactful than exercise. That review, which drew on data from 148 studies, found that people with stronger social relationships were 50% more likely to survive over the 7.5-year follow-up (that is, not die from such causes as cancer or heart disease), compared to those with weaker ties. Evidence continues to come in. The American Heart Association published a statement this August saying social isolation and loneliness are associated with a 30% increased risk of heart attack and stroke.

“Given the prevalence of social disconnectedness across the U.S., the public health impact is quite significant,” Crystal Wiley Cené, MD, chair of the group that wrote the statement, said in a news release. The organization said data supports what we suspected: Isolation and loneliness have increased during the pandemic, especially among adults ages 18 to 25, older adults, women, and low-income people.

YOUR SHRINKING CIRCLE

In the first year of the pandemic, there was a slight uptick in loneliness and psychological distress and a slight decrease in life satisfaction, according to a 2022 study in the Journal of Epidemiology & Community Health. For about 1 in 4 people, social circles shrank, says study author Emily Long, PhD, “even after lockdown restrictions were eased.” When your circle shrinks, you tend to keep those closest to you – the people who probably are most like you. You lose the diversity in opinion and point of view that you might get chatting with someone in your pickleball league, say, or even a stranger. “Our exposure to diverse people, lifestyles, and opinions dropped significantly,” says Long. Many of us have seen ties with others weaken or sever altogether over disagreements about COVID restrictions and vaccinations. This happened with acquaintances, once-close pals, or family members as their views on hot-button topics came to the forefront – topics we may have avoided in the past to keep the peace. Some of these relationships may not be rebuilt, Long says, though it’s too early to say.

HOW TO MAKE BETTER CONNECTIONS ONLINE

Many of us jumped online for our social interaction. Did Zoom and Instagram and Facebook help us connect? Sure, in a way. “It might be more difficult at times, but people can establish meaningful relationships without being physically close,” says John Caughlin, PhD, head of the Communication Department at the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign, who studies “computer-mediated communication.” It all depends on how you use it. Late-night “doom scrolling” is not relationship-building. But you can forge new or stronger connections via social media if you’re “treating each other as people,” he says. Here’s one way: Don’t tap a lazy “like” on a post, but instead leave a thoughtful comment that adds value to the conversation. Maybe chime in with your experience or offer words of support. Give a restaurant recommendation if they’re traveling. But remember that social media became a minefield during the pandemic, Caughlin says. People blasted out their views on staying home, vaccinations, and masks. You quickly learned who shared your views and rethought your relationship with others. It’s tempting to view social media as a scourge. But that may just be our inherent panic-button reaction to newish technology, Caughlin says. Surprisingly, overall research – and there has been a lot – has shown that social media has little impact on well-being, he says. A recent meta-analysis from Stanford University on 226 studies from 2006 to 2018 looked for a link between social media use and well-being. What they found: zero. Some studies show a link between social media and anxiety and depression, true, but that may be because those who have depression or anxiety are more likely to spend more time on social media as a way to distract themselves.

MAKE SOMEONE HAPPY, INCLUDING YOU

Does this sound familiar? You tend to keep up with friends as a social media voyeur rather than, say, calling, texting, or meeting face-to-face. If that sounds like you, you’re not alone. But if you reverse course and start reaching out again, it’s likely that both you and the other person will benefit. New research from the American Psychological Association on nearly 6,000 people found that when someone reaches out to us – even if it’s with a quick text – we deeply appreciate it. The study was not only about the pandemic, but researchers say that the results could help people rebuild relationships, especially if they’re not confident about trying. At the same time, Slatcher, the Georgia professor, notes that more screen time “is not the solution” to loneliness or separation. “All the work out there has shown that social media use isn’t associated with people being happier or less depressed,” he says. According to Slatcher, the two key parts of building and maintaining relationships are:

• Self-disclosure, which means sharing something about yourself or being vulnerable by letting others know personal information.
• Responsiveness, which simply means reacting to what someone is saying, asking follow-up questions, and maybe gently sharing something about yourself, too, without taking over the conversation.

These happen in person all the time. On social media, not so much.

“Both men and women feel happier when they feel emotionally close with another person, and that’s more difficult to do online,” Slatcher says. Turns out the strongest connections – those best for your well-being – happen when you put the phone down. 

A SURPRISING BRIGHT SPOT IN PANDEMIC CONNECTION

We felt more divided than ever during the pandemic, something affirmed by Pew research. By some measures, Americans have the lowest levels of social trust since World War II, says Frederick J. Riley, executive director of Weave: The Social Fabric Project at The Aspen Institute. If neighbors within a community don’t trust each other, they can’t trust society at large. But it’s not all bad news. Researchers have seen connections within communities get stronger during the pandemic, Riley says. These are the people who run errands for elderly neighbors, donate supplies and clothes, set up family-friendly meetups, build community gardens, and more. The “we’re all in this together” mindset arose early in the pandemic, Long and colleagues found. A meta-analysis in 2022 in Psychological Bulletin found that there’s been more cooperation among strangers. This may be due to greater urbanization or living alone – distance from our close-knit crew forces some to cooperate with others when they wouldn’t otherwise. This, too, is healthy: A sense of belonging in your community, or “neighborhood cohesion,” as a 2020 study from Canadian researchers points out, has been linked to a lower risk of strokes, heart attacks, and early death. It also helps with mental health. You can tap into this by, say, volunteering at your child’s school, attending religious services, joining a fitness group, or going to festivals in your city. These deliver a sense of identity, higher self-esteem, and can lower stress and make you feel less lonely, the study authors say. It also fosters a sense that we can make meaningful change in our towns. Certainly, we’ve all been arguing a lot these days – gun control, abortion, politics. Riley says deeper issues, such as a sense of community safety and creating a better place for kids to grow up, help us transcend these hot-button issues. Sharing goals brings people together, he says, and that’s fueled by that innate urge for connection and togetherness. “I am really optimistic for what the future will hold,” he says. “We’ve been in this place [of social distrust] before, and it’s the people in local communities showing that anyone can stand up and make the place they live in better.”

BY: Jessica Migala, WebMD, September 16, 2022

SOURCES:

Richard B. Slatcher, PhD, professor of psychology, University of Georgia.

Emily Long, PhD, research fellow, Social and Public Health Sciences Unit, University of Glasgow.

John Caughlin, PhD, Communication Department chief, University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign.

Frederick J. Riley, executive director, Weave: The Social Fabric Project, The Aspen Institute.

Much Love, Dr.Shermaine, #InformativeRead #PleaseShare #HealthyBodySoulAndSpirit #IWantYou2LiveWell #FeelFree2SignUpAndFollow

The Goal is to Always Make You Aware of What Concerns Your Body, Soul and Spirit, So You Can Have Open, Honest and Frequent Discussions With Your Physicians and Counselors. You Can’t Treat or Cure What You Don’t Know is Sick.
 
"It's Not Selfish to Love Yourself, Take Care of Yourself and to Make Your Happiness a Priority. It's a Necessity." (Mandy Hale)

"Self-Care is Not Selfish. You Cannot Serve From an Empty Vessel." (Eleanor Brown)

The contents of the WebMD and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine Sites, such as text, graphics, images, and other material contained on the WebMD and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine Sites ("Content") are for informational purposes only. The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on the WebMD and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine Sites!

If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately. WebMD and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine does not recommend or endorse any specific tests, physicians, products, procedures, opinions, or other information that may be mentioned on the Sites. Reliance on any information provided by WebMD, WebMD employees, others appearing on the Site at the invitation of WebMD, and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine or other visitors to the Sites is solely at your own risk.  

“What Happens to Your Body When You Drink Alcohol? What Happens When You Quit?”

 

Moderate drinking may help your health, but heavy boozing only hurts it. 

Here's how alcohol affects your body and your health. Alcohol is one of the few socially acceptable drugs that people consume regularly. When it comes to the effects of alcohol on the body, it's not all bad, but it's also not all good. Read on for the nutrition of alcohol and what alcohol does to your body, in moderation and in excess.

ALCOHOL NUTRITION: The calories in alcoholic beverages can vary based on their percentage of alcohol (and added ingredients). Higher-alcohol drinks generally have smaller serving sizes. Here are the usual calories in several common alcoholic beverages:

·                     Sparkling Wine (Champagne, prosecco): 5 oz., 125 calories

·                     White Wine: 5 oz., 125 calories

·                     Red Wine: 5 oz., 130 calories

·                     Light Beers (pilsner, helles, lager): 12 oz., 100 calories

·                     Medium Beers (IPA, APA): 12 oz., 190 calories

·                     Heavy Beers (IIPA, stout): 12 oz., 220 calories

·                     Malt Liquor: 12 oz., 210 calories

·                     Liqueurs: 1.5 oz. (1 shot), 170 calories (can vary with additional ingredients like sugar and cream)

·                     Distilled Liquors (rum, vodka, gin, whiskey): 1.5 oz. (1 shot), 100 calories

DEHYDRATION: Dehydration is more than just a parched feeling—it can contribute to neurological, urological, circulatory and gastrointestinal disorders over time. When you drink alcohol, it suppresses the hormone in your body that helps your body stay hydrated, called the antidiuretic hormone. Alcohol itself is also a diuretic, which means it draws water out of your body. When you get dehydrated from alcohol consumption, it can also lead to electrolyte imbalances. The seriousness of electrolyte imbalances depends on the severity of your dehydration. For example, sometimes rehydrating with a drink with electrolytes, like coconut water or a sports drink, can do the trick. Other times, these imbalances can be serious and require medical treatment. One way to limit the dehydrating effects of alcohol is to alternate a glass of water between alcoholic drinks. A study published in the Journal of the International Society of Sports Nutrition found that those who drank beer and water after exercising were just as hydrated as those who drank only water.

 

BREAST CANCER: As little as one alcoholic drink per day can raise your risk of breast cancer. Drinking alcohol can raise estrogen levels. Increased estrogen in the body is a known risk factor for breast cancer and can even result from low levels of alcohol consumption. When your body breaks down alcohol, it creates byproducts which may be carcinogenic. The more you drink, the harder it becomes for your body to clear them out. Women are particularly vulnerable to carcinogens from puberty through their first pregnancy, so the timing of alcohol consumption plays a role as well. On the bright side, eating a balanced, nutritious diet can be protective against these alcohol byproducts. For example, women who did not consume the recommended daily amount of folate (400 mcg) regularly were at a heightened risk compared to those who did.

GUT HEALTH: Drinking alcohol can influence the composition and metabolic function of your GI tract. Alcohol causes our stomach cells to produce excess amounts of gastric acid. This can cause stomach irritability and nausea. Ongoing overconsumption of alcohol has been shown to cause oxidative stress that promotes the development of alcoholic liver disease, along with other conditions. Probiotics have been shown to help repair the GI damage, once drinking stops.

PANCREATIC HEALTH: Alcohol is the second most common cause of acute pancreatitis, with risk increasing substantially when someone has more than five drinks a day. Luckily, there has been no association found between moderate wine or beer consumption (one to two drinks daily) and pancreatitis. There are a few reasons why too much alcohol doesn't agree with your pancreas. Ethanol from alcohol promotes the initial pancreatic injury by inflaming and plugging the cells around the pancreas. Continuing to consume excessive amounts of alcohol inhibits the body's ability to repair the damaged cells. Diets high in nutrients such as thiamine, folate, fiber and vitamin D have been shown to be protective against pancreatic damage.

 

LIVER HEALTH: The liver is the first organ many people think of when talking about alcohol. It is well-established that excessive drinking can lead to fat accumulation in your liver and, ultimately, cirrhosis. Fortunately, early stages of liver disease are reversible, but cirrhosis is not. Body fat is highly influenced by alcohol and can have a profound impact on your liver health as well. In a healthy body, fat tissue is necessary and important for longevity. However, over time, excessive alcohol consumption breaks down fat cells and sends them to the liver, where they can accumulate and lead to chronic liver disease. Obesity has been found to exacerbate this effect. Regular exercise has been found to reduce fat accumulation in the liver, and it improves body composition in general, which provides additional protection from liver disease.

 

BRAIN HEALTH: A 2018 study in the BMJ found that, after 23 years of follow-up, the lowest incidence of dementia was found in adults who drank between one and fourteen drinks each week (two or fewer drinks per day). Surprisingly, they found that abstainers had the highest rates of dementia; and, unsurprisingly, heavy consumption greatly increased the risk. Moderate alcohol consumption prevents gaps from forming when brain cells naturally die; however, science is still unsure of the mechanisms for this. Additionally, a study in Molecular Psychiatry found that heavy drinkers, specifically men, had significantly more behavioral and social problems than moderate drinkers or abstainers. One nightly glass of wine or beer may be the sweet spot for staying mentally sharp.

 

HEART HEALTH: Moderate alcohol consumption boosts the good HDL cholesterol in our blood, which promotes clean arteries while also reducing inflammation (moderate is defined as one drink per day for women, and two for men). Better yet, low amounts of alcohol can also improve blood flow and blood pressure. This reduces your risk of heart attacks, strokes, heart failure and artery disease. On the other hand, heavy drinking (five or more drinks daily) sabotages these benefits and actually increases blood pressure, which can be an additional risk for heart disease.

 

BONE HEALTH: Booze may boost your bone health as well, when consumed in moderation. The same increases in sex hormones (estrogen and testosterone) that can be a risk factor for reproductive cancers can increase bone density. Wine and beer may be more beneficial than spirits due to their antioxidant content. However, chronically consuming high levels of alcohol can damage your bones and deplete your body of minerals essential for bone health. In studies with rats, vitamin E has been found to improve the negative bone health outcomes associated with alcohol; however, more research is needed to form a conclusion.

BOTTOM LINE: Alcohol is widely available and consumed, someway or somehow, in many cultures. The research is promising about the health benefits of consuming moderate amounts of alcohol. However, that is not to say you should pick up the habit if you don't already drink. What is well-established is that abuse of alcohol is incredibly damaging to numerous organs in your body. Alcohol can have a place in a healthy diet when consumed responsibly and in moderation. Cheers to that!

 

Jessica Ball, M.S., R.D., Eating Well, Updated December 11, 2019

“What Happens to Your Body When You Quit Drinking?”

The scoop on why you'll lose weight, get better sleep and feel better overall.

Whatever your alcohol intake-whether you only indulge in a single celebratory Friday-night drink or pour yourself an Olivia Pope-size glass of wine every single night-there are a bevy of benefits to going booze-free. You already know many of them: weight loss, better sleep and a happier, healthier mood. But what, exactly, happens inside your body that makes not drinking so great?

"Alcohol is a toxin," Sal Raichbach, Psy.D., LCSW, chief of clinical compliance at Ambrosia Treatment Center points out. "As it enters the bloodstream, it impacts every organ system and takes a toll on the normal processes of the human body. So, if you stop drinking, then your body doesn't have to go through that recovery process the next day." Here's what happens to your body when you stop drinking—on the outside and inside.

YOU'LL LOSE WEIGHT: If you've ever gone even a week without your favorite cocktail, you've likely noticed your clothing fits a little more loosely. (Hello, skinny jeans!) That's because when you cut out alcohol's empty calories, your body can focus on burning the other calories you consume. "Alcohol contains empty calories, which don't offer nutrients," Raichbach explains. Those empty calories aren't as satisfying as energy from whole foods with nutrients like protein and fiber and fat, so you're likely adding alcohol's calories on top of your nutritional needs. If you eat an adequate amount to maintain your weight, any excess calories will be stored as fat. It's true that most drinks only pack 100 to 200 calories per serving, but that adds up, says David Greuner, M.D., surgical director at NYC Surgical Associates. "Though no longer considered an exact measure, 3,500 calories translates to approximately one pound of weight," he says. So: "By simply eliminating nightly cocktails or weekend binges, you can potentially shed a couple of pounds by month's end."

YOU'LL SLEEP BETTER: Even drinking once or twice a week can wreak havoc on your sleep schedule, Raichbach says. "People who quit drinking often notice that their weekends are more productive and restful because their sleep is restorative," he describes. That may seem counterintuitive-especially for people who struggle to fall asleep at night. "Even though alcohol makes you sleepy, it's not a useful sleep aid," Raichbach explains. "Moderate alcohol consumption diminishes your quality of sleep by reducing the production of melatonin, a hormone that tells our bodies when to sleep and when to wake up. It also increases another chemical that affects sleep regulation, adenosine." What's more, Greuner adds, consuming alcohol forces your brain to work in alpha waves, which is a meditative or resting wave state we typically experience when we're awake. With these hormones, chemicals and brain waves out of whack, you'll find yourself waking up in the middle of the night-or needing to nap at work. And restorative REM sleep can be elusive. Cutting out alcohol can help you sleep soundly through the night.

 

YOU'LL GET SICK LESS: Prone to head colds? Your nightly glass-or three-of wine could be to blame, says Greuner. While light to moderate drinking shouldn't increase your susceptibility, "even a single episode of binge drinking can lead to exertion on the immune system and cause inflammation-a common cause of many ailments." When you refrain from drinking to excess, you'll reduce and reverse inflammation. And because of that "over time, your immune system will be strengthened," Greuner explains.

 

YOU'LL IMPROVE YOUR DIGESTION: The liver is responsible for cleansing the body of toxins-including alcohol. When you take alcohol out of the equation, "the liver doesn't have to deal with metabolizing ethanol and can focus on being the body's filter for other toxins that we naturally encounter," Raichbach says. Drinking too much can also cause fatty liver disease, inflammation of the liver and, over time, cirrhosis and liver failure. Be sure to talk to your doctor if you're taking any medications. Some medicines interact with alcohol and can increase the risk of liver damage from drinking. Plus, our digestive system deals with alcohol differently than other toxins. Alcohol, particularly fermented beverages like beer and wine, can cause stomach cells to overproduce gastric acid, which can irritate the stomach. Excessive alcohol intake can damage the lining of the GI tract as well. "As soon as alcohol enters the body and travels into the esophagus," says Raichbach, "it's already doing damage to cells that digest our food. Studies show that it continues to affect the digestive system as it enters the stomach, where it can negatively affect the lining of the stomach and cause ulcers in the gastrointestinal tract." While you likely wouldn't see these effects with moderate alcohol consumption, stopping drinking eliminates this risk entirely.

 

YOU'LL STAY MORE HYDRATED: "Alcohol is a diuretic, meaning that it increases the rate at which you expel water from your body as urine," explains Raichbach. The need to go or not go to the bathroom begins in your brain, as your pituitary gland releases antidiuretic hormone (ADH) that tells your kidneys it's time to retain water. Drinking even small amounts of alcohol can have a temporary diuretic effect. "Alcohol causes ADH levels to drop, and as a result, the kidneys produce more urine and retain less water," Raichbach says. "When you stop drinking alcohol, you restore ADH levels to their natural state, and your kidneys expel the appropriate amount of water." By retaining water and staying hydrated, your whole body will feel better. “Our bodies are entirely dependent on water," he says. "Every cell in our body uses water in one way or another. It's essential for circulation, maintaining body temperature, and helps to get rid of waste. Without proper hydration, the heart must work harder to pump the same amount of blood, and your kidneys will eventually start to fail."

YOUR SKIN WILL LOOK BETTER: Another plus to rehydrating your body is that your appearance may improve. "Though moderate drinking may not present a large number of immediate life-threatening concerns, it can quickly take a noticeable toll on your appearance-even after one night of overindulging," warns Greuner. "Less water in the body leads to some immediate and visible effects, including dry and more wrinkled skin, red cheeks, eczema and blood-shot eyes." But take a night-or a month-off from drinking, and you'll likely be happier with what you see in the mirror. "With the avoidance of alcohol and proper hydration, your skin should soon return to its normal healthy state," he says.

 

YOU'LL FEEL LESS ANXIOUS: You likely already know that alcohol is a depressant. As such, alcohol "directly affects the brain and neural networks, impacting almost every one of the brain's processes," Raichbach says. "A healthy brain that isn't impaired by alcohol maintains a balance of neurotransmitters like GABA and dopamine." On the other hand, he says, "Alcohol throws off the levels of neurotransmitters that regulate emotions and behavior, and control cognitive abilities." When you drink, your GABA and dopamine levels deplete, and you may feel tired, anxious and depressed when the intoxicating effects of alcohol wear off, Raichbach says. But taking a break from alcohol allows your brain to restore the balance of feel-good hormones.

 

BOTTOM LINE: The recommendations around drinking caution not to start if you don't already drink, but say that in moderation—one glass per day for women and two for men—alcohol can be part of a healthy diet and lifestyle. Besides the above-mentioned benefits of going sober, as little as one drink a day has been linked with an increased risk of breast cancer. Plus, certain populations—including pregnant women, people under 21 and people with certain medical conditions—shouldn’t drink at all. Whether you're considering cutting back, doing a 30-day dry month or giving up alcohol entirely, you'll likely reap some benefits—but drinking in moderation can be OK too.

Jillian Kramer, Eating Well, Updated November 25, 2020

Much Love, Dr.Shermaine, #InformativeRead #PleaseShare #HealthyBodySoulAndSpirit #IWantYou2LiveWell #FeelFree2SignUpAndFollow

The Goal is to Always Make You Aware of What Concerns Your Body, Soul and Spirit, So You Can Have Open, Honest and Frequent Discussions With Your Physicians and Counselors. You Can’t Treat or Cure What You Don’t Know is Sick.
 
"It's Not Selfish to Love Yourself, Take Care of Yourself and to Make Your Happiness a Priority. It's a Necessity." (Mandy Hale)

"Self-Care is Not Selfish. You Cannot Serve From an Empty Vessel." (Eleanor Brown)

The contents of the Eating Well and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine Sites, such as text, graphics, images, and other material contained on the Eating Well and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine Sites ("Content") are for informational purposes only. The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on the Eating Well and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine Sites!

If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately. Eating Well and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine does not recommend or endorse any specific tests, physicians, products, procedures, opinions, or other information that may be mentioned on the Sites. Reliance on any information provided by Eating Well, Eating Well employees, others appearing on the Site at the invitation of Eating Well, and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine or other visitors to the Sites is solely at your own risk.  

“14 Tips to Beat Holiday Depression, According to Psychologists”

 

There are ways to make the most wonderful time of year a little better.

The holiday season isn't wonderful for everyone. For some, holiday depression makes this time of year debilitating, and difficult to experience. In this episode of Deep Dives, we speak with Gail Saltz, M.D. regarding holiday depression and seasonal depression, and her take on how to manage stress during this time of year. Here are six tips to help avoid potential triggers and keep holiday depression at bay.

 

WHAT IS DEPRESSION, AND DOES IT REALLY GET WORSE DURING THE HOLIDAYS? While holiday depression is not an official clinical diagnosis, the holiday season is full of potential depression triggers. "Depression that occurs around the holidays sometimes gets called holiday depression," Gail Saltz, MD, a psychologist and host of the Personology podcast, tells Health. "It is important to delineate whether this occurs every year in the winter, because if so, this may actually be seasonal affective disorder. But if not, it may be depression exacerbated by stressors related to the holidays."

 

MAKE PLANS AHEAD OF TIME: Spend some time figuring out how to take care of yourself during this time, John Sharp, MD, a psychiatrist at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston, tells Health. Come up with restorative routines, such as reading a book or napping, and write them on a calendar. In between shopping and baking, make sure these routines don't fall by the wayside. "Figure out what basics are going to help you get through the holidays and make them a priority," Dr. Sharp says.

 

AVOID FAMILY CONFLICT AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE: There are a couple ways to save your sanity at family gatherings, Jeffrey Greeson, PhD, assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Duke University School of Medicine in Durham, N.C., tells Health. If you know there are going to be conflicts, prepare a neutral response, such as, "Let's talk about that another time," or, "I can see how you would feel that way." Then escape to the restroom, offer to help in the kitchen, or go hang out with the kids. And it always helps to call a good friend if you need a sympathetic ear.

 

FOCUS ON THE GOOD: Specifically, focus on the good people in your life. The holidays can be immensely stressful if you don't see eye-to-eye with your family members and yet end up spending large amounts of time with them (especially if you're all staying under one roof). If this scenario is stressful for you, it's extra important to think about the people and things that don't stress you out during this time. "That's where we should put our energy," Scott Bea, PsyD, a psychologist at Cleveland Clinic, tells Health. "Let things be less than ideal. Let them feel a little broken," Dr. Bea says. However, make it a point to intentionally focus on people in your life who "lift you up.”

 

DROP PERFECTIONISM: Debbie Thurman, a 57-year-old from Monroe, Va., suffered from depression for years, and the holidays made it worse. From decorating to finding the perfect gifts, she felt overwhelmed. At a support group's suggestion, she listed the simple things that really made her family happy, and she began traditions that helped the less fortunate. "When you take your eyes off of yourself and focus on those who have far less than you do, you can't be depressed," she says. "I learned to be grateful for the blessings I had, and I had a lot.”

 

LEARN HOW TO GRIEVE: If you are mourning a loved one, it's a good time to talk about your feelings or reach out to support groups. "There's no one right way to feel," Deborah Jonsson, public relations manager at Avow Hospice, in Collier County, Florida, tells Health. It's not uncommon to feel angry at the person for leaving you alone or feeling guilty if you do enjoy yourself during the holidays. "All feelings are a sign that you're human and reflect where you are in your healing process," Jonsson says.

GET ENOUGH SLEEP: Holiday activities easily can interfere with your sleep schedule. But studies have shown there is a link between sleep loss and depression, so you need to be extra careful about cutting back on sleep to get everything done. Try to get to bed and wake up at approximately the same time every day; avoid large meals and physical activity such as dancing within a few hours of bedtime; and make your bedroom a sleep sanctuary, free from TV or other distractions, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

 

LIMIT MEDIA CONSUMPTION: Let's be real—the holidays can make you feel lonely. Advertising campaigns showing happy couples and family units can really do a number on you if you're depressed. "If you're depressed, [what you're feeling] is in contrast to what appears to be going on everywhere else," explains Dr. Bea. Social media (and other types of media), can often emphasize feelings of loneliness, which is why you need to be mindful of how much of said media you're consuming. If you get sad when you log onto Facebook, pay attention to that feeling, and consider changing your media consumption habits. "You have to have a plan. Rather than merely being victimized, have a plan on how you're going to approach this. Limit the degree to which social media" has power over your feelings, says Dr. Bea.

 

DON’T BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP: When Thurman's children were young, she and her husband lived far away from their extended family. When she needed support during "black bouts of depression," she leaned on close friends. She and her husband had two couples in particular that helped them through difficult times. "These friends were godsends," she says. "I credit them with quite possibly helping to save my life," she says. "I also drew encouragement from a small support group of women who were dealing with depression.”

 

MAKE EXERCISE A PRIORITY: Exercise—one of the first activities to get lost in the holiday shuffle—should be placed high on your to-do list. "The more stress we are under, the less time we feel like we have, and the more irritated our mood, the more we need to continue exercising," Greeson says. "Get out and do something; it helps use those calories from rich, fatty, sugary holiday foods." Exercise has been shown to improve mood. Taking a brisk walk for 35 minutes five days a week (or 60 minutes three times a week) can do the trick.

 

CONSIDER YOUR LIGHT EXPOSURE: If you are consistently tired, irritable, and down at this time of year, it may not be due to the holidays as much as to the lack of exposure to the sun, Dr. Sharp says. Seasonal affective disorder, or SAD, can be treated by long walks during daylight hours or exposure to a light box for about 30 minutes a day. If you think you may be suffering from SAD, talk to your doctor about treatment options.

 

MAKE NON-HOLIDAY PLANS: It can be good to intentionally turn your attention away from the holidays, says Dr. Bea. This can be especially useful for people who struggle with depression that's related to the holidays. "It's hard to avoid the awareness of the holidays," Dr. Bea admits. However, that doesn't mean you can't escape them for a little while by busying yourself with unrelated activities. If being social keeps you comfortable, consider making plans with friends that have nothing to do with the holidays. Dr. Bea recommends exploring any activity that pulls you outside yourself, which will disconnect you from your depression.

 

FOCUS ON WHAT REALLY MATTERS: The holidays shouldn't be all about the presents, but financial woes can make it easy to lose sight of that. Rein in the stress (and cost) by organizing a gift exchange with friends or family. You can also bake your gifts or create traditions such as having a large potluck meal followed by a walk outside or board games by the fire. "I think saying no is more of a relief instead of stretching and spending more than you have and still not doing enough," Dr. Sharp says.

DON’T BINGE ON FOOD OR ALCOHOL: For some, overindulgence is as much of a holiday tradition as opening gifts. Carmen Harra, PhD, an author and psychologist in Hollywood, Florida, recommends more restraint. "Have one piece of pie, not three," Dr. Harra tells Health. "Apart from being unhealthy for your body, you will feel guilty afterward." Harra recommends preparing for holiday dinners by eating healthy meals the week prior. And don't use alcohol to deal with holiday depression. Alcohol can intensify your emotions and leave you feeling worse when it wears off.

 

CUT BACK ON COMMITMENTS: If you feel like you just can't get through one more holiday gathering, it's OK to sit them out. "One of the things about holiday stress we forget is that Thanksgiving and Christmas are both 24 hours and that's it," Pauline Wallin, PhD, an author and clinical psychologist in Camp Hill, Penn, tells Health. Wallin recommends figuring out what you need to get through those 24 hours, such as volunteering, going on vacation, or visiting a shelter or someone who is alone. Focusing on others can help alleviate depression.

 

BY Tammy Worth, Health Magazine, Updated November 10, 2020

Much Love, Dr.Shermaine, #InformativeRead #PleaseShare #HealthyBodySoulAndSpirit #IWantYou2LiveWell #FeelFree2SignUpAndFollow

The Goal is to Always Make You Aware of What Concerns Your Body, Soul and Spirit, So You Can Have Open, Honest and Frequent Discussions With Your Physicians and Counselors. You Can’t Treat or Cure What You Don’t Know is Sick.
 
"It's Not Selfish to Love Yourself, Take Care of Yourself and to Make Your Happiness a Priority. It's a Necessity." (Mandy Hale)

"Self-Care is Not Selfish. You Cannot Serve From an Empty Vessel." (Eleanor Brown)

The contents of the WebMD and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine Sites, such as text, graphics, images, and other material contained on the WebMD and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine Sites ("Content") are for informational purposes only. The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on the WebMD and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine Sites!

If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately. WebMD and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine does not recommend or endorse any specific tests, physicians, products, procedures, opinions, or other information that may be mentioned on the Sites. Reliance on any information provided by WebMD, WebMD employees, others appearing on the Site at the invitation of WebMD, and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine or other visitors to the Sites is solely at your own risk.  

“Signs of a Bad Friend”

 

Friends are an important part of life — they make your life better by providing social and emotional support, providing companionship, and lifting your mood. Over your lifetime, maintaining positive friendships can lead to improved health and well-being — and even lengthen your life. However, not all friendships are beneficial. Some are toxic and stressful. A bad friend can be many things, but, typically, they lead to mental and emotional fatigue or a lack of general well-being. Research shows that negative or overly-aggressive social interactions can lead to increased inflammation within the body.

WHAT IS A BAD FRIEND? In short, a bad friend is someone who is stressful or exhausting to be around. They may be:

• Overly competitive with you
• Likely to encourage bad behaviors 
• Unreliable
• Combative (like to start fights)
• Rude
• Mean or degrading (make you feel bad)
• Prone to gossip
• Likely to bully you or others

Humans aren’t perfect, and this extends to friendships. However, when interactions with a friend are overwhelmingly negative, you may be dealing with a bad friend. While admitting you have a bad friend can be disappointing, there are steps you can take to move forward. Recognizing the types of bad friends and the signs of a toxic friendship, as well as moving on from the relationship, will lead to your improved health and well-being. 

TYPES OF BAD FRIENDS: While bad friendships always include negative interactions and damage to your emotional well-being, there is a broad range of the types of toxic friendships you may experience. Some examples include:

THE SELFISH FRIEND: This friend may only make plans when it is beneficial to them — or only when they are feeling lonely and bored. They may also seek constant attention or ask for unreasonable favors. Otherwise, they are unavailable or unreliable when you need them most. This friendship may feel largely one-sided or disappointing. 

THE OVERLY CRITICAL FRIEND: This friend may degrade you intentionally or unintentionally. If they share your personal stories or make derogatory comments (such as put downs) behind your back, you may have an overly critical friend who lacks a healthy filter. 

THE OVERSTEPPING FRIEND: This friend may have good intentions but lacks boundaries. An overstepping friend may insert themselves into conversations or issues with you and your partner, family, or other friends without being asked or initially included.

THE COMPETITIVE FRIEND: Competition can be healthy, but if you find that your friend is passive-aggressive when you find success, you may be dealing with an overly competitive friend who is unable to be happy for you. 

THE VICTIM: A common form of bad friend is the victim. While friends will need help from time to time, this person may have an unhealthy need for attention or sympathy from others. They may drain your capacity for compassion. 

SIGNS OF A BAD FRIEND: Every friendship has its problems, but a truly bad friend will follow a consistent pattern of toxic behavior. Several signs, however, can indicate that your friendship is damaging to you or your other relationships. Here are some of the signs to watch out for.

DISTRUST: If you find yourself with a genuine lack of trust toward a friend, it may be time to part ways. Another sign of a bad friend is a growing feeling of unease or dislike toward them. 

ABUSE: While it may seem obvious, it can be difficult to recognize abusive behavior in people you love or trust. Any form of abuse — physical, mental, emotional, or otherwise — is an occasion for ending the friendship and including professional help from law enforcement or other resources if needed. Abuse may not always seem obvious. Listen to your intuition (gut feeling). If you’re feeling degraded or mistreated by your friend, you are in a negative relationship that can damage your self-esteem and mental health. 

MALICIOUS BEHAVIOR: If your friend speaks to you or calls you names with the intent to hurt your feelings, you are experiencing a bad friendship. Malicious (hurtful) behavior can appear in the form of rudeness, the cold shoulder, or overt meanness. 

BAD INFLUENCE: One of the clearest signs of a bad friend is that your friend encourages criminal or dangerous behavior. 

DEALING WITH A BAD FRIEND: It’s not uncommon to feel stuck in a bad friendship. If you’re starting to feel as though your friendship is becoming negative or is damaging your mental health, you should:

END THE FRIENDSHIP IMMEDIATELY: It can be challenging to decide to end a friendship. If you’re feeling unsure about the nature of your relationship, you may ask yourself:

• Does this friendship make me feel valued?
• Do I feel encouraged by my friend?
• Do I feel happy when I’m with my friend?

If you cannot answer any of these questions positively, it is time to end your friendship and move on.

BUILD NEW RELATIONSHIPS: It is important to surround yourself with positive and meaningful relationships. If you’re feeling discouraged, you can meet new people by:

• Attending events 
• Volunteering 
• Extending and accepting invitations to others
• Taking up a new hobby
• Joining a community 
• Taking a walk 

MEDICALLY REVIEWED BY: Dan Brennan, MD, WebMD on November 17, 2020

SOURCES:

Innovation in Aging: “THE UNIQUE ROLE OF FRIENDSHIP FOR HEALTH AND WELL-BEING ACROSS LIFE AND AROUND THE WORLD.”

Mayo Clinic: “Friendships: Enrich your life and improve your health.”

Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America: “Negative and competitive social interactions are related to heightened proinflammatory cytokine activity.”

Psychology Today: “Behind Frenemy Lines: How I’ve identified and dealt with toxic friendships.”

Psychology Today: “How to Spot a Bad Friend.”

“In life we never lose friends, we only learn who the TRUE ones are.” (Author Unknown)

“Some of the most poisonous people come disguised as friends.” (Author Unknown)

“Growing up means realizing a lot of your friends aren’t really your friends.” (Author Unknown)

“The biggest mistake I have made in my life is letting people stay in my life far longer than they deserved to.” (Author Unknown)

“Sometimes friends are like pennies, two-faced and worthless.” (Author Unknown).

“Be very selective when it comes to choosing friends. People nowadays don’t know the true meaning of friendship and loyalty.” (Author Unknown).

“Bad friends will prevent you from having good friends.” (Author Unknown).

“I’m not saying you’re a bad friend…you just aren’t a good one to me.” (Author Unknown).

“If I cut you off, chances are, you handed me the scissors.” (Author Unknown).

“Everybody isn’t your friend. Just because they hang around you and laugh with you doesn’t mean they’re for you. Just because they say they got your back, doesn’t mean they won’t stab you in it. People pretend well. Jealously sometimes doesn’t live far. So, know your circle. At the end of the day, real situations expose fake people, so pay attention.” (Author Unknown).

“Breaking someone’s trust is like crumpling up a perfect piece of paper. You can smooth it over but it’s never going to be the same again.” (Author Unknown).

“A close friend can become a close enemy.” (Author Unknown).

“Fake friends are like shadows. They follow you in the sun but leave you in the dark.” (Author Unknown).

“Don’t fear the ENEMY that ATTACKS you, but the FAKE FRIEND that HUGS you.” (Author Unknown).

“Distance sometimes lets you know who’s worth keeping and who’s worth letting go.” (Author Unknown).

“A true friend is someone who is always there for you, with no agenda other than the friendship itself. We rely on our friends to lift us up in bad times, to keep us grounded in good times, but most importantly, to be there for us when we need nothing at all.” (Tonya Hurley).

“True friends say good things behind your back and bad things to your face.” (Author Unknown).

 

Much Love, Dr.Shermaine, #InformativeRead #PleaseShare #HealthyBodySoulAndSpirit #IWantYou2LiveWell #FeelFree2SignUpAndFollow

The Goal is to Always Make You Aware of What Concerns Your Body, Soul and Spirit, So You Can Have Open, Honest and Frequent Discussions With Your Physicians and Counselors. You Can’t Treat or Cure What You Don’t Know is Sick.
 
"It's Not Selfish to Love Yourself, Take Care of Yourself and to Make Your Happiness a Priority. It's a Necessity." (Mandy Hale)

"Self-Care is Not Selfish. You Cannot Serve From an Empty Vessel." (Eleanor Brown)

The contents of the WebMD and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine Sites, such as text, graphics, images, and other material contained on the WebMD and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine Sites ("Content") are for informational purposes only. The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on the WebMD and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine Sites!

If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately. WebMD and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine does not recommend or endorse any specific tests, physicians, products, procedures, opinions, or other information that may be mentioned on the Sites. Reliance on any information provided by WebMD, WebMD employees, others appearing on the Site at the invitation of WebMD, and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine or other visitors to the Sites is solely at your own risk.