"HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN CHRISTMAS?"

 

With having had two teenage boys who loved football, there was one Christmas gift that was a sure hit – a new leather football! And seeing how it was a rare 60-degree Christmas morning, do you think the guys were going to just sit around the Christmas tree and admire that ball? Absolutely not! They went right outside and did what you’re supposed to do with a football! Play Football!

Here they were, Pastor Ron and his boys – the three men of the house – running quickly out of the house, out into the middle of the street, passing that football back and forth. 

Then it happened…Pastor Ron went back for a long one; the pass was heading straight to him! And he caught it! However, he caught it right on the end of his little finger! The emergency room? Yeah, that’s not exactly where you want to spend a huge chunk of your Christmas time, but that’s exactly where Pastor Ron was, and with a special souvenir of that Christmas – a broken finger! I believe Pastor Ron will agree; it’s no fun having something Broken, especially  during Christmas!

And it’s far worse, if what’s broken is a relationship you really care about, or your family is broken, or your heart is broken, your joy is broken, your peace is broken, your trust has been broken, your loyalty has been broken. In fact, all the “joy to the world” around you just seems to make the hurt even worse! And often the Christmas Season has a tendency to bring painful reminders of the things and people that have hurt us the most, and broken us to pieces! A mother who walked away and never came back; a father who passed away; a marriage that ended; a child that left home; a doctor’s sad report; the loss of a job after 20 years; the senseless loss of a friends life; a relationship that’s beyond repair…and the list could go on forever. 

Well, you need to know that the One whose ‘birthday’ we’re celebrating knows about what’s broken and He knows how much it’s hurting you. He cares about that pain, He cares about your loneliness, and more importantly, He truly understands!


Remember, this Jesus who we celebrate this Christmas was, in the words of the Bible, a “man of sorrows and familiar with suffering” (Isaiah 53:3). The Amplified Bible says it like this: “He was despised and rejected and forsaken by men, a Man of sorrows and pains, and acquainted with grief and sickness; and like One from Whom men hide their faces He was despised, and we did not appreciate His worth or have any esteem for Him.” (AMP) The Contemporary English Bible says it like this: “He was hated and rejected; his life was filled with sorrow and terrible suffering. No one wanted to look at him. We despised him and said, “He is a nobody!” (CEB)

JESUS was misunderstood, despised, rejected, forsaken, hated, filled with sorrows, pain, grief, sickness and terrible suffering, abandoned, betrayed, falsely accused, and even mocked, spat upon, pierced and put to death! So, in case you feel as if no one knows how you feel; no one can identify with your brokenness, rest assured, JESUS KNOWS, JESUS CARES AND JESUS UNDERSTANDS!

While everyone around you may be celebrating and totally unaware of how you’re hurting, please know that Jesus is moving close to you today, and He wants to do something very powerful for you this Christmas…And That’s to Heal What’s Broken!

I know this may sound like a depressing devotional, however, believe it or not, far too many are dreading this Christmas! Truth is, someone, somewhere will cry this Christmas, will be alone this Christmas, will feel left, rejected and abandoned this Christmas. Someone will commit suicide this Christmas. Someone will throw in the towel on life for good this Christmas. Someone, somewhere is wondering “what do I have to celebrate this Christmas?…he left me…she doesn’t love me…he died…she’s sick…what could I possibly have to celebrate?”

That’s why I think He’s led me to remind someone today: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18). 

For further encouragement, let’s look at that same Scripture in various translations:


“The Lord is near to those who are discouraged; he saves those who have lost all hope.” (GNT); 

“The Lord is there to rescue all who are discouraged and have given up hope.” (CEV); 

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and he saves those whose spirits have been crushed.” (NCV). 


However, my favorite is: “If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there; if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath.” (MSG) 

In your brokenness is where you’ll find God right there! Now that’s encouragement! Because most people don’t want to be around someone who’s broken. Why? Because they know it will only be a time of tears, complaining, sob stories, self-pity parties, retelling of the same hurtful scripts over and over again. They know it will be a time spent in sorrow, pain, regret, hurt, rejection, and ‘why me’? chants. Who wants to hang around that, especially during the holidays? But Jesus is a friend that sticks closer than a brother! He could care less about any of that, He’s not leaving your side, nor is He turning a deaf ear to you, nor will He leave you there broken. After all, He is the mender of broken hearts! So, wherever you find yourself broken today, know that Jesus is Right There, even if no one else is! You my friend are on the verge of being mended!

The second part of that says this: “…if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath.” Truth is, life can hit you so hard it makes you double over in pain, with the breath knocked right out of you! But isn’t it awesome how God is ever present to give you your second wind?! That term ‘second wind’, has a few definitions but the one I’ll use here is, “a new strength or energy to continue something that is an effort.’ When God gives you a second wind it’s ‘new strength and energy to continue something that is an effort.’ And let’s be honest, trying to recover from brokenness takes effort! Pain and hurt has a way of weakening you to such a state that if God doesn’t supply the strength, you’ll never bounce back! Which is why sharing our weakness with God and waiting on His strength is so vital! 2 Corinthians 12:9, “but He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you [My lovingkindness and My mercy are more than enough—always available—regardless of the situation]; for [My] power is being perfected [and is completed and shows itself most effectively] in [your] weakness.” Therefore, I will all the more gladly boast in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ [may completely enfold me and] may dwell in me.” (AMP) See, your weakness can’t destroy His strength, in fact, it’s what supplies it to you and for you! So be encouraged today, God is Right There and He’s Supplying You With Strength and a Second Wind, You Shall Recover, You Shall Bounce Back, You Shall Heal!


JESUS LOVES YOU; HE CARES THAT YOU’RE HURTING; HE’S THERE AND WANTS TO HELP HEAL YOUR BROKENNESS…ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS…LET HIM!

“Now that we know what we have—Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God—let’s not let it slip through our fingers. We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, ACCEPT THE HELP” (Hebrews 4:14-16 MSG). The word ‘accept’ is defined as, ‘to agree to receive or undertake something offered or proposed; to regard favorably or with approval.’ Its Latin origin ‘acceptare’, from ‘capere’, literally means ‘to take.’ People of God, it’s not that God hasn’t offered His help, the problem is we haven’t accepted it! Which makes absolutely no sense, since the word itself means ‘to take’! Therefore, today, Take the help God is offering to heal you and help you mend every broken area of your life. Don’t Focus so much on your Hurt that you lose Sight of His Help!

In Isaiah 61:1, the Son of God says, “The Lord has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted.” The Amplified Bible says it like this: “The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed and qualified me to preach the Gospel of good tidings to the meek, the poor, and afflicted; He has sent me to bind up and heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the [physical and spiritual] captives and the opening of the prison and of the eyes to those who are bound”

HE REALLY IS THE FIXER OF BROKEN HEARTS, AND BROKEN LIVES, AND BROKEN PEOPLE! How do I know? THE WORD OF GOD SAID SO, AND THE WORD OF GOD CAN’T LIE!

So if this Christmas Your Battling With Brokenness, Simply Lean On the One Who Has Been Charged to Bind Up the Brokenhearted…His Names Is JESUS!
Let Him Mend You and Make You Whole Again! After all, isn’t that a part of the Reason we celebrate Him this Season? The Son of God Coming to Seek and Save; Heal and Deliver? Surely this season has to mean more than trees, tinsel, lights, Santa, candy canes, egg nog, and gifts? After all, this season is the celebration of the ONLY ONE who Sacrificed His life so He could grant us Eternal Life. Surely LIFE that grants an ETERNAL GIFT means more than standing in LINES that grant only a TEMPORARY ONE?! Christmas is more than pretty wrapped boxes with bows, it’s a time to remember the Christ Who was Broken to Mend the Broken. No matter what sale/discount you receive at the store; nothing will ever be able to equal that value/worth! 

Psalm 147:3, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds [healing their pain and comforting their sorrow].” (AMP) I know what happened may have broken your heart, but don’t let it stop it from beating! God is there ready and willing to heal the brokenhearted and to bind up their wounds; to heal their pain and comfort their sorrow, so why suffer in silence, when His arms are open wide; His eyes are focused on you; His ears are open to your voice; His heart is filled with unconditional love for you; and He simply cannot wait to heal every ounce of your brokenness!

Remember: No Matter What Is Broken, Where It Broke, How Long and How Bad It’s Been Broken, Why It Broke, When It Broke or Who Broke It…He Can…and He Will Bind the Broken…Just Trust Him and Accept His Help to Heal! And this Broken Christmas May Just Prove to be Your Very Best Christmas Yet!

Remember the REASON not the RECEIPTS of This Christmas! He Came to Save, and that Includes Saving You from Suffering the Pain of Remaining Broken! Be Healed Today, Be Well Today, Be Happy Today, Be Made Whole Today!

“Christianity is the only hope for this broken world because there’s no other way for the broken to get the nails they need to rebuild.” (Author Unknown)

“Jesus came to heal everything in your life that’s broken and to restore everything the enemy has taken.” (Joyce Meyer)

“Broken things and broken people are the result of sin. Yet God sent His Son to be broken that we might be healed.” (Author Unknown)

“Lord, enlighten what’s dark in me; strengthen what’s weak in me; mend what’s broken in me; bind what’s bruised in me; heal what’s sick in me and lastly revive whatever peace and love has died in me.” (Author Unknown)

“God can heal a broken heart. But you need to give Him all the pieces.” (Author Unknown)

“God uses broken things. It takes broken soil to produce a crop, broken clouds to give rain, broken grain to give bread, broken bread to give strength. It is the broken alabaster box that gives forth perfume. It is Peter, weeping bitterly, who returns to greater power than ever.” (Vance Havner)

“Its so much easier to let God heal your broken heart than trying to do it in your own ability and strength. It’s not your job. Jesus is the healer of broken hearts.” (Author Unknown)

“God’s Healing Hand: If you have a mountain of pain before you or you’re lost in a cold valley of shadowy doubt, know that God’s healing hand is there to mend your broken heart and an angel’s smile is always looking over your shoulder to guide you with heavenly hope” (Robert Clancy)

“God knows the burdens you carry and the tears you shed. He is the healer of broken hearts, broken dreams, and broken lives. Trust Him. He never fails.” (Pastor John Hagee)

“Not to Self: Healing is NOT an overnight process. It takes time. Sometimes you’ll feel like you’re finally over something and happy again, and then unexpectedly the wound will reopen. But don’t give up and don’t get discouraged. Take each day one step at a time. Just try to be in a better place mentally and emotionally than you were yesterday.” (Author Unknown)

Much Love, Dr.Shermaine, #InformativeRead #PleaseShare #HealthyBodySoulAndSpirit #FeelFree2SignUpAndFollow #BeEncouraged #BeEmpowered #BeChallenged #BeInspired #BeHealed

The Goal is to Always Make You Aware of What Concerns Your Body, Soul and Spirit, So You Can Have Open, Honest and Frequent Discussions With Your Physicians and Counselors. You Can’t Treat or Cure What You Don’t Know is Sick.
 
"It's Not Selfish to Love Yourself, Take Care of Yourself and to Make Your Happiness a Priority. It's a Necessity." (Mandy Hale)

"Self-Care is Not Selfish. You Cannot Serve From an Empty Vessel." (Eleanor Brown)

"The Ups and Downs of Being Disconnected"

 

You brought your computer home from work “for 2 weeks” in March 2020 and stayed home for 2 years. Schools went virtual. Club meetings got canceled. Gyms closed. Friends and family became off-limits. Remember avoiding other people on the street? It’s gotten better since the outbreak, but we’ve remained in relative isolation far longer than expected. And that’s a little sad – and bad for us. Turns out avoiding a virus can harm your health, because togetherness and connection are foundations of our well-being. “We as humans are engineered by evolution to crave contact with other humans,” says Richard B. Slatcher, PhD, a professor of psychology at the University of Georgia. “This has been called the ‘need to belong,’ and it’s up there as a basic need with food and water.” Makes sense: Primitive humans who banded with others were more likely to find food, protect each other, and survive to pass along their genes, he says.

When we were suddenly thrust into isolation in 2020, social ties were already fraying. The book Bowling Alone came out 2 decades earlier. Author Robert D. Putnam lamented the decline in “social capital,” the value we get from connections and our sense of community support. The Atlantic ran a story called "Why You Never See Your Friends Anymore" months before any of us heard of COVID-19. The pandemic sped up those feelings of isolation. Even after getting vaccinated and boosted, many of us feel we’re not connecting as we would like. And for some, politics has deepened that divide.

Should we care? Yes, say the experts. Social relationships are strongly linked to health and longevity. A famous study published in 2010 in PLOS Medicine concluded that social connections were as important to health as not smoking and more impactful than exercise. That review, which drew on data from 148 studies, found that people with stronger social relationships were 50% more likely to survive over the 7.5-year follow-up (that is, not die from such causes as cancer or heart disease), compared to those with weaker ties. Evidence continues to come in. The American Heart Association published a statement this August saying social isolation and loneliness are associated with a 30% increased risk of heart attack and stroke.

“Given the prevalence of social disconnectedness across the U.S., the public health impact is quite significant,” Crystal Wiley Cené, MD, chair of the group that wrote the statement, said in a news release. The organization said data supports what we suspected: Isolation and loneliness have increased during the pandemic, especially among adults ages 18 to 25, older adults, women, and low-income people.

YOUR SHRINKING CIRCLE

In the first year of the pandemic, there was a slight uptick in loneliness and psychological distress and a slight decrease in life satisfaction, according to a 2022 study in the Journal of Epidemiology & Community Health. For about 1 in 4 people, social circles shrank, says study author Emily Long, PhD, “even after lockdown restrictions were eased.” When your circle shrinks, you tend to keep those closest to you – the people who probably are most like you. You lose the diversity in opinion and point of view that you might get chatting with someone in your pickleball league, say, or even a stranger. “Our exposure to diverse people, lifestyles, and opinions dropped significantly,” says Long. Many of us have seen ties with others weaken or sever altogether over disagreements about COVID restrictions and vaccinations. This happened with acquaintances, once-close pals, or family members as their views on hot-button topics came to the forefront – topics we may have avoided in the past to keep the peace. Some of these relationships may not be rebuilt, Long says, though it’s too early to say.

HOW TO MAKE BETTER CONNECTIONS ONLINE

Many of us jumped online for our social interaction. Did Zoom and Instagram and Facebook help us connect? Sure, in a way. “It might be more difficult at times, but people can establish meaningful relationships without being physically close,” says John Caughlin, PhD, head of the Communication Department at the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign, who studies “computer-mediated communication.” It all depends on how you use it. Late-night “doom scrolling” is not relationship-building. But you can forge new or stronger connections via social media if you’re “treating each other as people,” he says. Here’s one way: Don’t tap a lazy “like” on a post, but instead leave a thoughtful comment that adds value to the conversation. Maybe chime in with your experience or offer words of support. Give a restaurant recommendation if they’re traveling. But remember that social media became a minefield during the pandemic, Caughlin says. People blasted out their views on staying home, vaccinations, and masks. You quickly learned who shared your views and rethought your relationship with others. It’s tempting to view social media as a scourge. But that may just be our inherent panic-button reaction to newish technology, Caughlin says. Surprisingly, overall research – and there has been a lot – has shown that social media has little impact on well-being, he says. A recent meta-analysis from Stanford University on 226 studies from 2006 to 2018 looked for a link between social media use and well-being. What they found: zero. Some studies show a link between social media and anxiety and depression, true, but that may be because those who have depression or anxiety are more likely to spend more time on social media as a way to distract themselves.

MAKE SOMEONE HAPPY, INCLUDING YOU

Does this sound familiar? You tend to keep up with friends as a social media voyeur rather than, say, calling, texting, or meeting face-to-face. If that sounds like you, you’re not alone. But if you reverse course and start reaching out again, it’s likely that both you and the other person will benefit. New research from the American Psychological Association on nearly 6,000 people found that when someone reaches out to us – even if it’s with a quick text – we deeply appreciate it. The study was not only about the pandemic, but researchers say that the results could help people rebuild relationships, especially if they’re not confident about trying. At the same time, Slatcher, the Georgia professor, notes that more screen time “is not the solution” to loneliness or separation. “All the work out there has shown that social media use isn’t associated with people being happier or less depressed,” he says. According to Slatcher, the two key parts of building and maintaining relationships are:

• Self-disclosure, which means sharing something about yourself or being vulnerable by letting others know personal information.
• Responsiveness, which simply means reacting to what someone is saying, asking follow-up questions, and maybe gently sharing something about yourself, too, without taking over the conversation.

These happen in person all the time. On social media, not so much.

“Both men and women feel happier when they feel emotionally close with another person, and that’s more difficult to do online,” Slatcher says. Turns out the strongest connections – those best for your well-being – happen when you put the phone down. 

A SURPRISING BRIGHT SPOT IN PANDEMIC CONNECTION

We felt more divided than ever during the pandemic, something affirmed by Pew research. By some measures, Americans have the lowest levels of social trust since World War II, says Frederick J. Riley, executive director of Weave: The Social Fabric Project at The Aspen Institute. If neighbors within a community don’t trust each other, they can’t trust society at large. But it’s not all bad news. Researchers have seen connections within communities get stronger during the pandemic, Riley says. These are the people who run errands for elderly neighbors, donate supplies and clothes, set up family-friendly meetups, build community gardens, and more. The “we’re all in this together” mindset arose early in the pandemic, Long and colleagues found. A meta-analysis in 2022 in Psychological Bulletin found that there’s been more cooperation among strangers. This may be due to greater urbanization or living alone – distance from our close-knit crew forces some to cooperate with others when they wouldn’t otherwise. This, too, is healthy: A sense of belonging in your community, or “neighborhood cohesion,” as a 2020 study from Canadian researchers points out, has been linked to a lower risk of strokes, heart attacks, and early death. It also helps with mental health. You can tap into this by, say, volunteering at your child’s school, attending religious services, joining a fitness group, or going to festivals in your city. These deliver a sense of identity, higher self-esteem, and can lower stress and make you feel less lonely, the study authors say. It also fosters a sense that we can make meaningful change in our towns. Certainly, we’ve all been arguing a lot these days – gun control, abortion, politics. Riley says deeper issues, such as a sense of community safety and creating a better place for kids to grow up, help us transcend these hot-button issues. Sharing goals brings people together, he says, and that’s fueled by that innate urge for connection and togetherness. “I am really optimistic for what the future will hold,” he says. “We’ve been in this place [of social distrust] before, and it’s the people in local communities showing that anyone can stand up and make the place they live in better.”

BY: Jessica Migala, WebMD, September 16, 2022

SOURCES:

Richard B. Slatcher, PhD, professor of psychology, University of Georgia.

Emily Long, PhD, research fellow, Social and Public Health Sciences Unit, University of Glasgow.

John Caughlin, PhD, Communication Department chief, University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign.

Frederick J. Riley, executive director, Weave: The Social Fabric Project, The Aspen Institute.

Much Love, Dr.Shermaine, #InformativeRead #PleaseShare #HealthyBodySoulAndSpirit #IWantYou2LiveWell #FeelFree2SignUpAndFollow

The Goal is to Always Make You Aware of What Concerns Your Body, Soul and Spirit, So You Can Have Open, Honest and Frequent Discussions With Your Physicians and Counselors. You Can’t Treat or Cure What You Don’t Know is Sick.
 
"It's Not Selfish to Love Yourself, Take Care of Yourself and to Make Your Happiness a Priority. It's a Necessity." (Mandy Hale)

"Self-Care is Not Selfish. You Cannot Serve From an Empty Vessel." (Eleanor Brown)

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"Release the OLD, Receive the NEW!"

Isaiah 43:16-21, “Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over OLD history. Be alert, BE PRESENT. I’m about to do something brand-NEW. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it? There it is!…” (MSG).

If we dared to be Truthful, All of us have chapters in our lives we wish we could rewrite!  

Dr. Harold Bloomfield says, ‘Unresolved emotional pain wreaks havoc on your immune system, cardiac function, hormone levels, and other physical functions. We Must Make Peace With Our Past Because Our Life May Literally Depend On It.‘

Since Getting Past Our Past is so Vital to Our Future, let’s look at a few things to Aid Us in Our Recovery.

To Get Past Your Past You Must:

1. RE-FRAME IT: The picture itself can’t be changed, But the Frame Can! So Determine to See It Differently, view it with a Better Perspective. Begin by asking: ‘How did it make me Stronger? What do I know now that I didn’t know then?’ And don’t focus on what you lost either, but only on what you’ve gained! A good friend taught me: “Look good and long through your windshield, but only glance through your rear-view”. Why? There’s always so much More in Front of you, than behind you! Rear-view mirrors are small (So Only Small Stuff is Behind You); your Windshield on the other hand, is Big and Wide and Focused Only on what’s Ahead, (That’s Your Future!). In other words, Learn to Obey the Word of God: “Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it? There it is!…” (Isaiah 43:16-21 MSG).

2. UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GUILT AND SHAME: Guilt is feeling bad about What You’ve Done – it’s Healthy; Shame is feeling bad about Who You Are – it’s Toxic and Debilitating! Whether we choose to admit it or not, All of us have things we’d like to change about ourselves, but keep in mind, when God created us He “…saw everything that He had made, and behold, it was Very Good (Suitable, Pleasant) and He Approved it Completely…‘ (Genesis 1:31 AMP). So, start seeing yourself as He sees you! In the words of the Men’s Warehouse commercial: “You’re gonna like the way you look. I guarantee it.”

3. STOP PUNISHING YOURSELF WITH THE ‘IF ONLY’S’: After stumbling badly and having God pick him up, David wrote, ‘BLESSED (HAPPY, fortunate, to be envied) is he who has Forgiveness of His Transgression Continually Exercised Upon Him, Whose Sin is Covered. Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) is the man to whom the Lord Imputes No Iniquity and In Whose Spirit There Is No Deceit.‘ (Psalm 32:1-2 AMP). Saints, Forgive Yourself; God Has! Because He sees you through the cross, you are ‘Accepted‘! (“to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He Made Us Accepted in the Beloved.” Ephesians 1:6 NKJV). As holy as He is, if He’s ‘Accepted’ you (All of You), Who Are You to Argue With His Final Decision?!

4. MOVE FROM PAIN TO GAIN: Healing takes time, so expect some anger, fear and sadness. Don’t Disown Them; They’re Part of the Process! But Don’t Adopt Them Either; Know When It’s Time to Move On! You Can’t Walk Backwards Into the Future, and the Future God has in mind contains more happiness than any past you can remember! “Do you not know that your body is the temple (the very sanctuary) of the Holy Spirit …” 1 Corinthians 6:19 AMP) And as the “Temple” of God, you need to daily remind yourself of the promise He made to another one of His Temples: “This Temple is going to end up Far Better Than It Started Out, a glorious beginning But An Even More Glorious Finish: a place in which I Will Hand Out Wholeness And Holiness…” (Haggai 2:9 MSG). However good, bad or ugly your past was, Your Future Is Guaranteed to be an Even More Glorious Finish Because You Are The TEMPLE of the Living God! And His Promise To His TEMPLE Is Secure!

5. ACCEPT WHAT HAPPENED: If You Don’t, You’ll Keep Reliving It! While working in the Congo as a missionary, Helen Roseveare was brutally raped. Writing about it she says, ‘I must ask myself, “Can I Thank God For Trusting Me With This Experience, Even If He Never Tells Me Why?”‘ The secret of trust doesn’t lie in Answers; It Lies In Acceptance! It’s knowing that in the midst of whatever has happened, is happening or will happen, God Is In Control! Either you fix your mind on that and determine to live again, or go through life feeling like you’ve never really lived at all! Helen Roseveare was able to move past her past of rape, Tamar on the other hand…Never Did! The Bible reads: “Oh no, brother,” she said. “Please! This is an even worse evil than what you just did to me!” But he wouldn’t listen to her. He called for his valet. “Get rid of this woman. Get her out of my sight! And lock the door after her.” The valet threw her out and locked the door behind her. She was wearing a long-sleeved gown. (That’s how virgin princesses used to dress from early adolescence on.) Tamar poured ashes  on her head, then she ripped the long-sleeved gown, held her head in her hands, and walked away, sobbing as she went. Her brother Absalom said to her, “Has your brother Amnon had his way with you? Now, my dear sister, let’s keep it quiet—a family matter. He is, after all, your brother. Don’t take this so hard.” Tamar lived in her brother Absalom’s home, bitter and desolate.” (2 Samuel 13:18-20 MSG). How do you go from being a Kingdom Daughter of David to being a Kingdom Daughter of Desolation? The word 'desolate' is defined as 'giving an impression of bleak and dismal emptiness; utterly wretched and unhappy.' It's Latin Origin 'desolare' means 'abandon' from 'solus' meaning 'alone'. That is a brutal stark contrast from Helen Roseveare! Yet, many of you, just like Tamar, have yet to Get Past It! And so you’ve settled for allowing life to simply pass you by! Like Tamar, never again to be heard of. Her name is no longer mentioned. Her garments torn. Her suffering done in solitary confinement. No release. No freedom. Shackled in her mind, by the chains of an abusive past attack on her body! Listen: You don’t have to condone it or broadcast it, But You Have to Get Past It! The Kingdom has need of you, and you can be of no service to it locked away in a House of Past Hurts!  My Name continues to be heard today because I refused to allow a teenage rape to rob me of my identity as a Kingdom Daughter! Yes, it took many years, and lots of counsel and forgiveness to Get Past It, But I Did…and So Can You! Regardless to what your “IT” was, refuse to be like Tamar and forever live in the bondage of Past abuse! Yes, She ripped her gown, But That Didn’t Destroy It! Sow it back together again, and move on! Wash those ashes off your head, Your King Has Provided You With “…a crown of beauty Instead of ashes, the oil of joy Instead of mourning, and a garment of praise Instead of a spirit of despair…” (Isaiah 61:3 NIV). From that Scripture, my new favorite word is “INSTEAD”! It simply means “In Place Of” How Awesome Is That?! Whatever the “IT” was that brought you “ashes”; “mourning” and “despair”, Your King Has taken His “Crown of Beauty”; “Oil of Joy”; and “Garment of Praise”; and put it “In Place Of”! Now that’s shouting material right there! People of God, Accept What Happened…Once and For All…Then Finally, Totally, and Completely…Release It!

6. YOU MUST BURY THE PAST OR LIVE WITH ITS GHOSTS: Rehashing Old Hurts Is Like Watching the Same Movie Over and Over, Hoping for a Different Ending! It’s Not Going to Happen! Learn From It and Move On! You Don’t Drown by Falling Into the Water, You Drown by Staying There! Peter denied Jesus three times, although a repeat offender, he finally got it right and preached his best sermon! David was a repeat offender, and yet he recovered each time and maintained his kingdom! So Stop Counting Your Bones! Those That Matter, Don’t Care, and Who Cares About Those Who Don’t Matter?! Just pick ‘em up and throw ‘em out! Think about it: When someone dies, people don’t spend the rest of their lives hanging out in the cemetery, eating breakfast, lunch and dinner at the gravesite! NO! You go to the cemetery, bury what has died and leave! Bury that stuff, and leave it alone! “Jesus Refused. “First Things First. Your Business is Life, Not Death. Follow Me. Pursue Life.” (Matthew 8:22 MSG).

7. GET OUT OF THE BLAME GAME: Blame Is a Waste of Time! When you blame yourself you multiply guilt and shame, chain yourself to the past, and increase your already low self-esteem! When you blame God you cut yourself off from His power, doubt replaces trust, and you put down roots of bitterness that make you cynical! When you blame others you add to the distance between them and you, and lose the only option that works – Forgiveness! Instead, trust God’s Promise to you: “And He Who is seated on the throne said, See! I make all things new. Also He said, Record this, for these sayings are faithful (accurate, incorruptible, and trustworthy) and true (genuine).” (Revelation 21:5 AMP).

Listen, if you are under the faulty impression that you alone have a jacked-up past, might I give you a brief bible study from the family of Jesus? Now, most families like to keep their family secrets a secret. Yet amazingly, you’ve barely dipped a toe into Matthew’s Gospel when you realize that Jesus Hails From a Less-Than-Perfect Family! Rahab was a Jericho harlot. Grandpa Jacob was slippery enough to warrant an electric ankle bracelet. David had a personality as irregular as a Picasso painting – one day writing Psalms, another day seducing his captain’s wife. One day dancing before the Lord with all his might, another day plotting pre-meditated murder. But did Jesus erase their names from the family tree? Absolutely Not! Why did He hang His family’s dirty laundry on the neighborhood clothesline? Because Your Family Has Secrets Too! A cousin with a prison record. A dad who left and never came home. A crack-head brother. A promiscuous sister. A drunk father. A beaten mother. A dead-beat baby daddy. A sorry baby momma. An uncle who ran away with a co-worker. Come on, if the truth be told, some of our lists are even longer and more complicated than that! In other words, Jesus Held On To the Nuts in His Family Tree, Surely You Can Hold On To Yours, Even if YOU are the Biggest Nut! You see, if Jesus, the Savior, the Son of the Living God, was attached to some crazy people, most of whom were His family members, what makes you think you, your past, or your family is to be any different? And just in case you need some more encouragement, here it is: Paul was the chief of sinners; Gideon was a scaredy cat; Peter was a liar; Moses was angry; Miriam was jealous; Rebekah was manipulative; Rachel & Leah were rival sisters sleeping with the same husband and bargaining for nights of sex; Abigail was married to a fool; Eli was a leader who couldn’t get his own sons to follow; Elijah was suicidal; Solomon had more women then a New York pimp; David was too dumb to realize he was the answer to Nathan’s riddle; Cain took sibling rivalry past anything seen on Jerry Springer; Amnon raped his own sister; Absalom tried to take the throne from his own father; Judah slept with his own daughter in law, who he thought was a prostitute, when in fact she set him up with her own CSI evidence; Josephs’ brothers wanted him dead over a coat and a dream and Saul had the personality of Sybil. And you think you got problems?!           And yet, inspite of all these Nuts in the family tree, We’re All Still Apart of the Family, and God Has Not Erased Our Name, But In Fact Took the Time to Write It In the Lamb’s Book of Life!
One of the greatest things you can do for yourself is to get past your past. If Jesus can accept the mess He has in His genealogy, and He’s the Son of God, surely you can accept yours. It doesn’t matter what you did, who you did it with, how long you did it, or where you did it – the fact of the matter is God is more concerned with your end then your beginning. He’s more concerned by how you finish then how you started. You are a part of the family of God, and nothing in your past can remove you from the family tree. 
Keep In Mind: If the Divine had nuts in His family tree, what made you think you’d only have beautiful fruit?!

People of God, this is a New Day, Soon to be a New Month, and we’re embarking on a New Year. Do you really want to bring the OLD into your NEW? Do you really want to keep carrying unnecessary baggage? Do you really want to continue being Overweight, carrying around all those extra Pounds of Guilt, Shame, Regret, Defeat, Depression, Fear, and Embarrassment? I think not. So, let today be the day you Begin Again. Let it all go, and go forward! The only reason you’re constantly seeing the same-ole-same-ole is because you keep spending so much time walking backwards into your past. Why not start today by looking in the direction your going…Forward! Truth be told, what’s coming is so much better than what’s been. And your future is bigger, better and greater than the mere momentary experiences of your past. Get ready to experience NEW! Forgive yourself, forgive them, and move forward, your future can’t wait to meet you! It’s in high anticipation of your expected arrival! Don’t let it or yourself down! Get Past Your Past and Move Forward Into a Future That God Assures Has Great Plans, Hope and Promise!

Jeremiah 29:10-11, “This is God’s Word on the subject…I’ll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” (MSG)

“It’s difficult to attract new and better things into your life if you keep hanging on to the stories that no longer serve you. When we do that, it’s like we’re putting up a barrier between us and what we really want. Release and allow yourself to fully Receive the goodness that is coming your way, Now!” (Rebekah Stephenson)

“Today I choose to: receive the healing; receive the release; receive the peace; to embrace the brand new me.” (Judy Thotho)

“I release all things from the past year that has caused any negative attachment. I prepare and welcome new changes, new lessons and new adventures. I welcome new opportunities to grow emotionally, mentally and spiritually.” (Pinterest)

“Release bitterness, forgive those who have hurt you, let go of disappointment, and start living in faith.” (Billy Cox)

“Sometimes you don’t realize the weight of something you’ve been carrying until you feel the weight of its release.” (Pinterest)

“Let today be the day you finally release yourself from the imprisonment of past grudges and anger. Simplify your life. Let go of the poisonous past and live the abundantly beautiful present…today.” (Dr. Steve Maraboli)

“Release the Past; Capture the Present; and Embrace the Future.” (Billy Cox)

“You leave old habits behind by starting out with the thought, ‘I release the need for this in my life.” (Dr. Wayne W. Dyer)

“In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life.” (Mary Manin Morrissey)

“Forgive yourself first. Release the need to replay a negative situation over and over again in your mind. Don’t become a hostage to your past by always reviewing and reliving your mistakes. Don’t remind yourself of what you should have, could have or would have been. Release it and let it go. Move on.” (Les Brown)

“I now gently release the grip of anger and rage; sorrow and suffering; shame and guilt from every fiber of my mind, heart and being.” (Iyanla)

“Are you holding onto emotional baggage? It is time to get to the root of the problem. You have the right to set yourself free.” (Wendy Nicole Anderson)

“Don’t let past relationships and old mistakes ruin your future. Don’t let someone or something that didn’t make it in your life continue to hurt you. If you do, you’re still giving a portion of your life to something that no longer exists – it’s like letting your happiness slip into a black hole. Learn the lesson, release the pain, and move on. Scars remind us of where we have been, not where we are headed.” (Positive Outlooks)

 

 Much Love, Dr. Shermaine #EnjoyTheRead #BeInspired #BeEncouraged #BeEmpowered #BeChallenged #BeFree #ShareTheWord #HealthyBodySoulAndSpirit #IWantYou2LiveWell