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Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts

Thursday, December 21, 2023

"HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN CHRISTMAS?"

 


With having had two teenage boys who loved football, there was one Christmas gift that was a sure hit – a new leather football! And seeing how it was a rare 60-degree Christmas morning, do you think the guys were going to just sit around the Christmas tree and admire that ball? Absolutely not! They went right outside and did what you’re supposed to do with a football! Play Football!

Here they were, Pastor Ron and his boys – the three men of the house – running quickly out of the house, out into the middle of the street, passing that football back and forth. 

Then it happenedPastor Ron went back for a long one; the pass was heading straight to him! And he caught it! However, he caught it right on the end of his little finger! The emergency room? Yeah, that’s not exactly where you want to spend a huge chunk of your Christmas time, but that’s exactly where Pastor Ron was, and with a special souvenir of that Christmas – a broken finger! I believe Pastor Ron will agree; it’s no fun having something Broken, especially  during Christmas!

And it’s far worse, if what’s broken is a relationship you really care about, or your family is broken, or your heart is broken, your joy is broken, your peace is broken, your trust has been broken, your loyalty has been broken. In fact, all the “joy to the world” around you just seems to make the hurt even worse! And often the Christmas Season has a tendency to bring painful reminders of the things and people that have hurt us the most, and broken us to pieces! A mother who walked away and never came back; a father who passed away; a marriage that ended; a child that left home; a doctor’s sad report; the loss of a job after 20 years; the senseless loss of a friends life; a relationship that’s beyond repair…and the list could go on forever. 

Well, you need to know that the One whose ‘birthday’ we’re celebrating knows about what’s broken and He knows how much it’s hurting you. He cares about that pain, He cares about your loneliness, and more importantly, He truly understands!


Remember, this Jesus who we celebrate this Christmas was, in the words of the Bible, a “man of sorrows and familiar with suffering” (Isaiah 53:3). The Amplified Bible says it like this: “He was despised and rejected and forsaken by men, a Man of sorrows and pains, and acquainted with grief and sickness; and like One from Whom men hide their faces He was despised, and we did not appreciate His worth or have any esteem for Him.” (AMPThe Contemporary English Bible says it like this: “He was hated and rejected; his life was filled with sorrow and terrible suffering. No one wanted to look at him. We despised him and said, “He is a nobody!” (CEB)

JESUS was misunderstood, despised, rejected, forsaken, hated, filled with sorrows, pain, grief, sickness and terrible suffering, abandoned, betrayed, falsely accused, and even mocked, spat upon, pierced and put to death! So, in case you feel as if no one knows how you feel; no one can identify with your brokenness, rest assured, JESUS KNOWS, JESUS CARES AND JESUS UNDERSTANDS!

While everyone around you may be celebrating and totally unaware of how you’re hurting, please know that Jesus is moving close to you today, and He wants to do something very powerful for you this Christmas…And That’s to Heal What’s Broken!

I know this may sound like a depressing devotional, however, believe it or not, far too many are dreading this Christmas! Truth is, someone, somewhere will cry this Christmas, will be alone this Christmas, will feel left, rejected and abandoned this Christmas. Someone will commit suicide this Christmas. Someone will throw in the towel on life for good this Christmas. Someone, somewhere is wondering “what do I have to celebrate this Christmas?…he left me…she doesn’t love me…he died…she’s sick…what could I possibly have to celebrate?”

That’s why I think He’s led me to remind someone today: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18). 

For further encouragement, let’s look at that same Scripture in various translations:


“The Lord is near to those who are discouraged; he saves those who have lost all hope.” (GNT); 

“The Lord is there to rescue all who are discouraged and have given up hope.” (CEV); 

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and he saves those whose spirits have been crushed.” (NCV). 


However, my favorite is: “If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there; if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath.” (MSG

In your brokenness is where you’ll find God right there! Now that’s encouragement! Because most people don’t want to be around someone who’s broken. Why? Because they know it will only be a time of tears, complaining, sob stories, self-pity parties, retelling of the same hurtful scripts over and over again. They know it will be a time spent in sorrow, pain, regret, hurt, rejection, and ‘why me’? chants. Who wants to hang around that, especially during the holidays? But Jesus is a friend that sticks closer than a brother! He could care less about any of that, He’s not leaving your side, nor is He turning a deaf ear to you, nor will He leave you there broken. After all, He is the mender of broken hearts! So, wherever you find yourself broken today, know that Jesus is Right There, even if no one else is! You my friend are on the verge of being mended!

The second part of that says this: “…if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath.” Truth is, life can hit you so hard it makes you double over in pain, with the breath knocked right out of you! But isn’t it awesome how God is ever present to give you your second wind?! That term ‘second wind’, has a few definitions but the one I’ll use here is, “a new strength or energy to continue something that is an effort.’ When God gives you a second wind it’s ‘new strength and energy to continue something that is an effort.’ And let’s be honest, trying to recover from brokenness takes effort! Pain and hurt has a way of weakening you to such a state that if God doesn’t supply the strength, you’ll never bounce back! Which is why sharing our weakness with God and waiting on His strength is so vital! 2 Corinthians 12:9, “but He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you [My lovingkindness and My mercy are more than enough—always available—regardless of the situation]; for [My] power is being perfected [and is completed and shows itself most effectively] in [your] weakness.” Therefore, I will all the more gladly boast in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ [may completely enfold me and] may dwell in me.” (AMP) See, your weakness can’t destroy His strength, in fact, it’s what supplies it to you and for you! So be encouraged today, God is Right There and He’s Supplying You With Strength and a Second Wind, You Shall Recover, You Shall Bounce Back, You Shall Heal!


JESUS LOVES YOU; HE CARES THAT YOU’RE HURTING; HE’S THERE AND WANTS TO HELP HEAL YOUR BROKENNESS…ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS…LET HIM!

“Now that we know what we have—Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God—let’s not let it slip through our fingers. We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, ACCEPT THE HELP” (Hebrews 4:14-16 MSG). The word ‘accept’ is defined as, ‘to agree to receive or undertake something offered or proposed; to regard favorably or with approval.’ Its Latin origin ‘acceptare’, from ‘capere’, literally means ‘to take.’ People of God, it’s not that God hasn’t offered His help, the problem is we haven’t accepted it! Which makes absolutely no sense, since the word itself means ‘to take’! Therefore, today, Take the help God is offering to heal you and help you mend every broken area of your life. Don’t Focus so much on your Hurt that you lose Sight of His Help!

In Isaiah 61:1, the Son of God says, “The Lord has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted.” The Amplified Bible says it like this: “The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed and qualified me to preach the Gospel of good tidings to the meek, the poor, and afflicted; He has sent me to bind up and heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the [physical and spiritual] captives and the opening of the prison and of the eyes to those who are bound”

HE REALLY IS THE FIXER OF BROKEN HEARTS, AND BROKEN LIVES, AND BROKEN PEOPLE! How do I know? THE WORD OF GOD SAID SO, AND THE WORD OF GOD CAN’T LIE!

So if this Christmas Your Battling With Brokenness, Simply Lean On the One Who Has Been Charged to Bind Up the Brokenhearted…His Names Is JESUS!
Let Him Mend You and Make You Whole Again! After all, isn’t that a part of the Reason we celebrate Him this Season? The Son of God Coming to Seek and Save; Heal and Deliver? Surely this season has to mean more than trees, tinsel, lights, Santa, candy canes, egg nog, and gifts? After all, this season is the celebration of the ONLY ONE who Sacrificed His life so He could grant us Eternal Life. Surely LIFE that grants an ETERNAL GIFT means more than standing in LINES that grant only a TEMPORARY ONE?! Christmas is more than pretty wrapped boxes with bows, it’s a time to remember the Christ Who was Broken to Mend the Broken. No matter what sale/discount you receive at the store; nothing will ever be able to equal that value/worth! 

Psalm 147:3, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds [healing their pain and comforting their sorrow].” (AMP) I know what happened may have broken your heart, but don’t let it stop it from beating! God is there ready and willing to heal the brokenhearted and to bind up their wounds; to heal their pain and comfort their sorrow, so why suffer in silence, when His arms are open wide; His eyes are focused on you; His ears are open to your voice; His heart is filled with unconditional love for you; and He simply cannot wait to heal every ounce of your brokenness!

Remember: No Matter What Is Broken, Where It Broke, How Long and How Bad It’s Been Broken, Why It Broke, When It Broke or Who Broke It…He Can…and He Will Bind the Broken…Just Trust Him and Accept His Help to Heal! And this Broken Christmas May Just Prove to be Your Very Best Christmas Yet!

Remember the REASON not the RECEIPTS of This Christmas! He Came to Save, and that Includes Saving You from Suffering the Pain of Remaining Broken! Be Healed Today, Be Well Today, Be Happy Today, Be Made Whole Today!

“Christianity is the only hope for this broken world because there’s no other way for the broken to get the nails they need to rebuild.” (Author Unknown)

“Jesus came to heal everything in your life that’s broken and to restore everything the enemy has taken.” (Joyce Meyer)

“Broken things and broken people are the result of sin. Yet God sent His Son to be broken that we might be healed.” (Author Unknown)

“Lord, enlighten what’s dark in me; strengthen what’s weak in me; mend what’s broken in me; bind what’s bruised in me; heal what’s sick in me and lastly revive whatever peace and love has died in me.” (Author Unknown)

“God can heal a broken heart. But you need to give Him all the pieces.” (Author Unknown)

“God uses broken things. It takes broken soil to produce a crop, broken clouds to give rain, broken grain to give bread, broken bread to give strength. It is the broken alabaster box that gives forth perfume. It is Peter, weeping bitterly, who returns to greater power than ever.” (Vance Havner)

“Its so much easier to let God heal your broken heart than trying to do it in your own ability and strength. It’s not your job. Jesus is the healer of broken hearts.” (Author Unknown)

“God’s Healing Hand: If you have a mountain of pain before you or you’re lost in a cold valley of shadowy doubt, know that God’s healing hand is there to mend your broken heart and an angel’s smile is always looking over your shoulder to guide you with heavenly hope” (Robert Clancy)

“God knows the burdens you carry and the tears you shed. He is the healer of broken hearts, broken dreams, and broken lives. Trust Him. He never fails.” (Pastor John Hagee)

“Not to Self: Healing is NOT an overnight process. It takes time. Sometimes you’ll feel like you’re finally over something and happy again, and then unexpectedly the wound will reopen. But don’t give up and don’t get discouraged. Take each day one step at a time. Just try to be in a better place mentally and emotionally than you were yesterday.” (Author Unknown)

Much Love, Dr.Shermaine, #InformativeRead #PleaseShare #HealthyBodySoulAndSpirit #FeelFree2SignUpAndFollow #BeEncouraged #BeEmpowered #BeChallenged #BeInspired #BeHealed

The Goal is to Always Make You Aware of What Concerns Your Body, Soul and Spirit, So You Can Have Open, Honest and Frequent Discussions With Your Physicians and Counselors. You Can’t Treat or Cure What You Don’t Know is Sick.
 
"It's Not Selfish to Love Yourself, Take Care of Yourself and to Make Your Happiness a Priority. It's a Necessity." (Mandy Hale)

"Self-Care is Not Selfish. You Cannot Serve From an Empty Vessel." (Eleanor Brown)

Wednesday, September 28, 2022

"The Ups and Downs of Being Disconnected"


 

You brought your computer home from work “for 2 weeks” in March 2020 and stayed home for 2 years. Schools went virtual. Club meetings got canceled. Gyms closed. Friends and family became off-limits. Remember avoiding other people on the street? It’s gotten better since the outbreak, but we’ve remained in relative isolation far longer than expected. And that’s a little sad – and bad for us. Turns out avoiding a virus can harm your health, because togetherness and connection are foundations of our well-being. “We as humans are engineered by evolution to crave contact with other humans,” says Richard B. Slatcher, PhD, a professor of psychology at the University of Georgia. “This has been called the ‘need to belong,’ and it’s up there as a basic need with food and water.” Makes sense: Primitive humans who banded with others were more likely to find food, protect each other, and survive to pass along their genes, he says.

When we were suddenly thrust into isolation in 2020, social ties were already fraying. The book Bowling Alone came out 2 decades earlier. Author Robert D. Putnam lamented the decline in “social capital,” the value we get from connections and our sense of community support. The Atlantic ran a story called "Why You Never See Your Friends Anymore" months before any of us heard of COVID-19. The pandemic sped up those feelings of isolation. Even after getting vaccinated and boosted, many of us feel we’re not connecting as we would like. And for some, politics has deepened that divide.

Should we care? Yes, say the experts. Social relationships are strongly linked to health and longevity. A famous study published in 2010 in PLOS Medicine concluded that social connections were as important to health as not smoking and more impactful than exercise. That review, which drew on data from 148 studies, found that people with stronger social relationships were 50% more likely to survive over the 7.5-year follow-up (that is, not die from such causes as cancer or heart disease), compared to those with weaker ties. Evidence continues to come in. The American Heart Association published a statement this August saying social isolation and loneliness are associated with a 30% increased risk of heart attack and stroke.

“Given the prevalence of social disconnectedness across the U.S., the public health impact is quite significant,” Crystal Wiley CenĂ©, MD, chair of the group that wrote the statement, said in a news release. The organization said data supports what we suspected: Isolation and loneliness have increased during the pandemic, especially among adults ages 18 to 25, older adults, women, and low-income people.

YOUR SHRINKING CIRCLE

In the first year of the pandemic, there was a slight uptick in loneliness and psychological distress and a slight decrease in life satisfaction, according to a 2022 study in the Journal of Epidemiology & Community HealthFor about 1 in 4 people, social circles shrank, says study author Emily Long, PhD, “even after lockdown restrictions were eased.” When your circle shrinks, you tend to keep those closest to you – the people who probably are most like you. You lose the diversity in opinion and point of view that you might get chatting with someone in your pickleball league, say, or even a stranger. “Our exposure to diverse people, lifestyles, and opinions dropped significantly,” says Long. Many of us have seen ties with others weaken or sever altogether over disagreements about COVID restrictions and vaccinations. This happened with acquaintances, once-close pals, or family members as their views on hot-button topics came to the forefront – topics we may have avoided in the past to keep the peace. Some of these relationships may not be rebuilt, Long says, though it’s too early to say.

HOW TO MAKE BETTER CONNECTIONS ONLINE

Many of us jumped online for our social interaction. Did Zoom and Instagram and Facebook help us connect? Sure, in a way. “It might be more difficult at times, but people can establish meaningful relationships without being physically close,” says John Caughlin, PhD, head of the Communication Department at the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign, who studies “computer-mediated communication.” It all depends on how you use it. Late-night “doom scrolling” is not relationship-building. But you can forge new or stronger connections via social media if you’re “treating each other as people,” he says. Here’s one way: Don’t tap a lazy “like” on a post, but instead leave a thoughtful comment that adds value to the conversation. Maybe chime in with your experience or offer words of support. Give a restaurant recommendation if they’re traveling. But remember that social media became a minefield during the pandemic, Caughlin says. People blasted out their views on staying home, vaccinations, and masks. You quickly learned who shared your views and rethought your relationship with others. It’s tempting to view social media as a scourge. But that may just be our inherent panic-button reaction to newish technology, Caughlin says. Surprisingly, overall research – and there has been a lot – has shown that social media has little impact on well-being, he says. A recent meta-analysis from Stanford University on 226 studies from 2006 to 2018 looked for a link between social media use and well-being. What they found: zero. Some studies show a link between social media and anxiety and depression, true, but that may be because those who have depression or anxiety are more likely to spend more time on social media as a way to distract themselves.

MAKE SOMEONE HAPPY, INCLUDING YOU

Does this sound familiar? You tend to keep up with friends as a social media voyeur rather than, say, calling, texting, or meeting face-to-face. If that sounds like you, you’re not alone. But if you reverse course and start reaching out again, it’s likely that both you and the other person will benefit. New research from the American Psychological Association on nearly 6,000 people found that when someone reaches out to us – even if it’s with a quick text – we deeply appreciate it. The study was not only about the pandemic, but researchers say that the results could help people rebuild relationships, especially if they’re not confident about trying. At the same time, Slatcher, the Georgia professor, notes that more screen time “is not the solution” to loneliness or separation. “All the work out there has shown that social media use isn’t associated with people being happier or less depressed,” he says. According to Slatcher, the two key parts of building and maintaining relationships are:

  • Self-disclosure, which means sharing something about yourself or being vulnerable by letting others know personal information.
  • Responsiveness, which simply means reacting to what someone is saying, asking follow-up questions, and maybe gently sharing something about yourself, too, without taking over the conversation.

These happen in person all the time. On social media, not so much.

“Both men and women feel happier when they feel emotionally close with another person, and that’s more difficult to do online,” Slatcher says. Turns out the strongest connections – those best for your well-being – happen when you put the phone down. 

A SURPRISING BRIGHT SPOT IN PANDEMIC CONNECTION

We felt more divided than ever during the pandemic, something affirmed by Pew research. By some measures, Americans have the lowest levels of social trust since World War II, says Frederick J. Riley, executive director of Weave: The Social Fabric Project at The Aspen Institute. If neighbors within a community don’t trust each other, they can’t trust society at large. But it’s not all bad news. Researchers have seen connections within communities get stronger during the pandemic, Riley says. These are the people who run errands for elderly neighbors, donate supplies and clothes, set up family-friendly meetups, build community gardens, and more. The “we’re all in this together” mindset arose early in the pandemic, Long and colleagues found. A meta-analysis in 2022 in Psychological Bulletin found that there’s been more cooperation among strangers. This may be due to greater urbanization or living alone – distance from our close-knit crew forces some to cooperate with others when they wouldn’t otherwise. This, too, is healthy: A sense of belonging in your community, or “neighborhood cohesion,” as a 2020 study from Canadian researchers points out, has been linked to a lower risk of strokes, heart attacks, and early death. It also helps with mental healthYou can tap into this by, say, volunteering at your child’s school, attending religious services, joining a fitness group, or going to festivals in your city. These deliver a sense of identity, higher self-esteem, and can lower stress and make you feel less lonely, the study authors say. It also fosters a sense that we can make meaningful change in our towns. Certainly, we’ve all been arguing a lot these days – gun control, abortion, politics. Riley says deeper issues, such as a sense of community safety and creating a better place for kids to grow up, help us transcend these hot-button issues. Sharing goals brings people together, he says, and that’s fueled by that innate urge for connection and togetherness. “I am really optimistic for what the future will hold,” he says. “We’ve been in this place [of social distrust] before, and it’s the people in local communities showing that anyone can stand up and make the place they live in better.”

BY: Jessica Migala, WebMD, September 16, 2022

SOURCES:

Richard B. Slatcher, PhD, professor of psychology, University of Georgia.

Emily Long, PhD, research fellow, Social and Public Health Sciences Unit, University of Glasgow.

John Caughlin, PhD, Communication Department chief, University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign.

Frederick J. Riley, executive director, Weave: The Social Fabric Project, The Aspen Institute.

Much Love, Dr.Shermaine, #InformativeRead #PleaseShare #HealthyBodySoulAndSpirit #IWantYou2LiveWell #FeelFree2SignUpAndFollow

The Goal is to Always Make You Aware of What Concerns Your Body, Soul and Spirit, So You Can Have Open, Honest and Frequent Discussions With Your Physicians and Counselors. You Can’t Treat or Cure What You Don’t Know is Sick.
 
"It's Not Selfish to Love Yourself, Take Care of Yourself and to Make Your Happiness a Priority. It's a Necessity." (Mandy Hale)

"Self-Care is Not Selfish. You Cannot Serve From an Empty Vessel." (Eleanor Brown)

The contents of the WebMD and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine Sites, such as text, graphics, images, and other material contained on the WebMD and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine Sites ("Content") are for informational purposes only. The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on the WebMD and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine Sites!

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Wednesday, November 18, 2020

“25 Ways to Find Joy and Balance During the Holidays”

 


Feeling down during the holidays can be tough, especially since you seem so out of step with the world. Everyone else seems to be beaming, ruddy-cheeked, bursting with holiday spirit. Yet, you’re feeling wretched and exhausted. But here’s something to cheer you up the next time you’re stuck in a room of revelers at a holiday party: Plenty of them are probably unhappy, too. I think a lot of people would say that the holidays are the worst time of the year,” says Ken Duckworth, MD, medical director of the National Alliance on Mental Illness. “They’re just straight up miserable, and that’s not only for people with clinical depression.So, if the family gatherings, the endless parties, and the shopping get you down, you’re hardly alone. But people with depression -- or who have had depression in the past -- need to be especially careful when coping with holiday stress. While it might take some conscious effort on your part, you can reduce stress -- and maybe even find some holiday joy, too. Here are some tips:

FINDING THE HOLIDAY SPIRIT: EMOTIONS

1. Keep your expectations modest. Don’t get hung up on what the holidays are supposed to be like and how you’re supposed to feel. If you’re comparing your holidays to some abstract greeting card ideal, they’ll always come up short. So, don’t worry about holiday spirit and take the holidays as they come.

2. Do something different. This year, does the prospect of the usual routine fill you with holiday dread rather than holiday joy? If so, don’t surrender to it. Try something different. Have Thanksgiving at a restaurant. Spend Christmas day at the movie theater. Get your family to agree to skip gifts and instead donate the money to a charity.

3. Lean on your support system. If you’ve been depressed, you need a network of close friends and family to turn to when things get tough, says David Shern, PhD, president and CEO of Mental Health America in Alexandria, Va. So, during the holidays, take time to get together with your support team regularly -- or at least keep in touch by phone to keep yourself centered.

4. Don’t assume the worst. “I think some people go into the holidays with expectations so low that it makes them more depressed,” says Duckworth. So, don’t start the holiday season anticipating disaster. If you try to take the holidays as they come and limit your expectations -- both good and bad -- you may enjoy them more.

5. Forget the unimportant stuff. Don’t run yourself ragged just to live up to holiday tradition. So what if you don’t get the lights on the roof this year? So what if you don’t get the special Christmas mugs from the crawl space? Give yourself a break. Worrying about such trivial stuff will not add to your holiday spirit.

6. Volunteer. Sure, you may feel stressed out and booked up already. But consider taking time to help people who have less than you. Try volunteering at a soup kitchen or working for a toy drive. “You could really find some comfort from it,” says Duckworth, “knowing that you’re making a small dent in the lives of people who have so little.”

FINDING THE HOLIDAY SPIRIT: FAMILY

7. Head off problems. Think about what people or situations trigger your holiday stress and figure out ways to avoid them. If seeing your uncle stresses you out, skip his New Year’s party and just stop by for a quick hello on New Year’s Day. Instead of staying in your bleak, childhood bedroom at your stepfather’s house, check into a nearby hotel. You really have more control than you think.

8. Ask for help -- but be specific. See if your spouse will lug out the decorations. Ask your sister to help you cook -- or host the holiday dinner itself. Invite a friend along on shopping trips. People may be more willing to help out than you expect; they just need some guidance from you on what to do.

9. Don’t worry about things beyond your control. So your uncle and your dad get into a fight every holiday dinner and it makes you miserable. But remember your limits. You can’t control them. But you can control your own reaction to the situation.

10. Make new family traditions. People often feel compelled to keep family holiday traditions alive long past the point that anyone’s actually enjoying them. Don’t keep them going for their own sake. “Start a new holiday tradition instead,” says Gloria Pope, Director of Advocacy and Public Policy at the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance in Chicago. “Create one that’s more meaningful to you personally.”

11. Find positive ways to remember loved ones. Holidays may remind you of the loved ones who aren’t around anymore. But instead of just feeling glum, do something active to celebrate their memory. For instance, go out with your sisters to your mom’s favorite restaurant and give her a toast.

FINDING THE HOLIDAY SPIRIT: PARTIES

12. Don’t overbook. “The holidays last for weeks and weeks,” says Pope. “People really need to pace themselves or they’ll get overwhelmed.” So don’t say yes to every invitation willy-nilly. Think about which parties you can fit in -- and which ones you really want to attend.

13. Don’t stay longer than you want. Going to a party doesn’t obligate you to stay until the bitter end. Instead, just drop by for a few minutes, say hello, and explain you have other engagements. The hosts will understand that it’s a busy time of year and appreciate your effort. Knowing you have a plan to leave can really ease your anxiety.

14. Have a partner for the party. If the prospect of an office party is causing holiday stress, talk to a friend and arrange to arrive -- and leave -- together. You may feel much better knowing you have an ally and a plan of escape.

FINDING THE HOLIDAY SPIRIT: SHOPPING

15. Forget about the perfect gift. If you’re already feeling overwhelmed, now is not the time to fret about finding the absolute best gift ever for your great aunt or your mailman. Remember: everybody likes a gift certificate.

16. Shop online. Save yourself the inconvenience, the crowds, and the horrors of the mall parking lot by doing the bulk of your shopping online.

17. Stick to a budget. The cost of holiday shopping mounts quickly and can make people feel out of control and anxious. So draw up a budget long before you actually start your shopping and stick to it.

FINDING THE HOLIDAY SPIRIT: SELF-CARE

18. Stay on schedule. As much as you possibly can, try to stick with your normal routine during the holidays. Don’t stay too late at parties. Don’t pull an all-nighter wrapping presents. Disrupting your schedule and losing out on sleep can make your mood deteriorate.

19. Exercise. While you may not feel like you have the time to exercise during the holidays, the benefits are worth it. “We know that exercise has a pretty strong anti-anxiety, anti-depression effect,” says Duckworth. You can work physical activity into your errands. When you’re shopping, take a few extra laps around the mall. Walk your Christmas cards to the post office instead of driving.

20. Eat sensibly. When you’re facing a dozen holiday parties and family gatherings between now and New Year’s, it’s hard to stay committed to a sensible diet. But try. Eating healthy may keep you feeling better -- physically and emotionally. On the other hand, don’t beat yourself up if you go overboard on the cookie platter in the break room. It’s not a big deal. Just get back on track the next day.

21. Don’t rely on holiday spirits (or other substances.) “The holidays are a time of heavy drinking,” says Duckworth. “It’s a common strategy for getting over anxiety about holiday parties or having the boss as your Secret Santa.” Remember that alcohol is itself a depressant and abusing it will leave you feeling worse. It also may not be safe for people taking antidepressant medication, says Pope.

22. Try a sun lamp. As the daylight grows shorter, lots of people find their mood gets gloomier. While some have diagnosed seasonal affective disorder (SAD), even people who don’t may still have a seasonal aspect to their depression. Talk to your doctor about trying a sun lamp. It could improve your mood.

23. If you take medication, don’t miss doses. In the hustle of the holidays, it’s easy to slack off and miss medication, says Pope. Don’t let that happen. Make sure that you’re up-to-date on your refills, too.

24. If you see a therapist, have extra meetings. To stay grounded, plan ahead and schedule some extra sessions during the holiday season. Or you could ask about the possibility of doing quick phone check-ins.

25. Give yourself a break. “The holidays can make some people dwell on their imperfections, their mistakes, the things they’re not proud of,” Duckworth tells WebMD. But try to cut yourself some slack. “This is not an easy time of year for a lot of people,” Duckworth says. “Be gentle with yourself.” It is the season of kindness and forgiveness, after all. Save some of it for yourself.

BY: R. Morgan Griffin; Reviewed By Louise Chang, MD on September 28, 2011

Much Love, Dr.Shermaine, #InformativeRead #PleaseShare #HealthyBodySoulAndSpirit #IWantYou2LiveWell #FeelFree2SignUpAndFollow

The Goal is to Always Make You Aware of What Concerns Your Body, Soul and Spirit, So You Can Have Open, Honest and Frequent Discussions With Your Physicians and Counselors. You Can’t Treat or Cure What You Don’t Know is Sick.

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"It's Not Selfish to Love Yourself, Take Care of Yourself and to Make Your Happiness a Priority. It's a Necessity." (Mandy Hale)

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