1. DON’T GO TO BED ANGRY: Even if you can’t
resolve a disagreement before you hit the sheets, you can agree to let the
anger go for the night. Remind each other how lucky you are — even as you
disagree — to have each other to disagree with.
2. GIVE COMPLIMENTS: To give
a compliment, you’ve got to pay attention — really notice something about
someone. If it’s been a while since you’ve doled out flattering praise, try it.
It costs nothing to say, “You look good,” “You did a great job,” or “I like
your shirt.” Yet compliments can really reassure and pump up your spouse.
3. HOLD HANDS: Back in
our parents’ time, hand-holding and discreet pecks on the cheek were the
tasteful, chaste displays of affection. Although anything goes these days, its
encouraged that couples simply hold hands in public. It somehow affirms to
everyone your undying affection and love for each other, and it shows everyone
that you are proud to be with each other and you want everyone to know it.
There’s an actual electrical connection that passes between us when we touch.
You can use that electrical connection to provide juice in your marriage. Give
each other little pats and gentle touches and hold hands frequently when you’re
walking or driving, and you’ll keep the energy — and the sweetness — flowing
between you.
4. BE A LITTLE OLD-FASHIONED: Once you are in
love, ask questions like: Is this person likely to be a good provider? Can they
manage money? Are they likely to be a good parent? Because marriage is a
financial arrangement in addition to a love one and one in which your economic
future is entwined with somebody else’s. And as one husband eloquently
said, “Making
love is so much better when the bills are paid!”
5. WATCH YOUR PARTNER WHILE THEY
PLAY: Watching someone
play a game is “extremely diagnostic.” You get a chance to observe how someone
behaves under stress, whether they’re honest and how they handle defeat. Small
things can tell you very big things about a couple’s suitability.
6. DO A SENSE OF HUMOR CHECK: Observe what makes
your partner laugh. If he thinks a whoopee cushion is funny and you don’t, it
certainly won’t get funnier for you 30 years from now. It’s a simple test of
whether your world views align.
7. CUT BACK ON COMPLAINTS: Yesteryear’s couples
had a comic reputation for nagging — yet, in truth, many partners often held
their tongues. A stumbling block in modern marriages is a constant soundtrack
of discord. Current generations think that closeness comes from sharing
everything, letting each other know how miserable you are. But it doesn’t
motivate me to treat you better. Relaying every annoyance is a bad idea.
Instead, pick your battles. “Not everything needs to be addressed.”
8. TRY THOUGHTFUL LITTLE ACTS: Back in the day,
with fewer stresses, limited technology and less multitasking, couples were
more “present” in their relationships. The presence of little, daily thoughtful
acts showed caring and appreciation for one another. Things like making
breakfast for your spouse or packing their lunch, bringing them coffee in the
morning or a drink or glass of wine at the end of the day, warming up their car
or putting their keys and other personal effects on the hall table, ready to
go. Sustaining a happy relationship requires careful thought, a generous spirit
and hard work. There’s a lot of wisdom to be gained from our parents or
grandparents. They had companionship marriage, but we’ve raised the bar — we
want romance, great sex, and more intimacy. We can reconcile these two
approaches. With some of the gentleness and graciousness of previous
generations with the technology and savvy of today’s marriages.
9.
MAINTAIN SAME-SEX FRIENDS — AND INTERESTS: Women, don’t try to
regulate your husband’s pleasures and don’t be jealous if they don’t include
you. It’s only been during the past couple of decades that couples expected to
share a bulk of their free time together. Retro couples didn’t necessarily want
to participate in each others hobbies. Couples should keep close ties with
their same-sex friends throughout marriage. This will give you both time to
cultivate your own interests, and not be totally reliant on each other for
their entertainment.
10. STILL DRESS TO IMPRESS: You can inspire
romance by dressing up for the occasion. “With our hectic schedules, it’s
tempting to resort to sweatpants all weekend or immediately changing into a
ratty T-shirt after work. Instead, dress up the next time you and your spouse
have dinner or plan a night out. Wearing a beautiful dress or a button-down
shirt and slacks will be unexpected and make your partner feel special that you
took the extra time to look nice. Taking time with your appearance inspires
romance and shows your partner you care. Never let yourself go. Look your best
as often as possible — it will make your partner feel loved and proud.
11. PUT PEN TO PAPER: Back
before cell phones and instant messaging, people wrote letters of affection to
each other, often waiting weeks to receive them. Love letters exchanged between
a couple can strengthen their relationship by helping them to connect to one
another on a deeper level. These letters may also become treasured keepsakes that
can be revisited and experienced anew each time they are read. You’ll reap
bonus points if you hand write it on beautiful paper and enclose a cherished
memento such as a photograph or ticket stub from a movie you saw together.
12. MAKE MANNERS COOL AGAIN: “Please,” “thank you,” “pardon me” and “may I” are phrases that
seemed to have all but disappeared from present-day vocabularies, especially
with our loved ones. You should extend your partner the same courtesy you would
a stranger. When speaking to your spouse, don’t be rude, be respectful. Use a
combination of old-school civility and modern frankness. Additionally, try more
sweetness and tenderness by saying things more lovingly. Politeness is like a
lubricant for your daily interactions; it makes everything go more smoothly. Husbands,
show her that chivalry is not dead: Pull out her chair, open the door for her,
help her over a puddle, give her your coat when it is cold outside, help her to
put on her coat. This act of affection shows that she is important and there is
a level of respect for her.
13. HAVE COUPLES FUN: Cocktail hour and
formal anniversary celebrations with like-minded couples were common activities
shared by our parents and their friends. It’s fun and a great way to be social
with others and playful with one another. It is important to identify friends
who are healthy additions to your social circle. Your goal is to become close
with other couples with similar standards and interests who have positive
attitudes about marriage and family life. Gravitate toward fun couples who make
you feel supported and enhance your active, healthy lifestyle. Friends like
these are good for your marriage and overall well-being.
Much Love,
Dr.Shermaine, #InformativeRead #PleaseShare #HealthyBodySoulAndSpirit
#IWantYou2LiveWell #FeelFree2SignUpAndFollow
The Goal is to Always Make You Aware of What Concerns
Your Body, Soul and Spirit, So You Can Have Open, Honest and Frequent
Discussions With Your Physicians and Counselors. You Can’t Treat or Cure What
You Don’t Know is Sick.
"It's Not Selfish to Love Yourself, Take Care
of Yourself and to Make Your Happiness a Priority. It's a Necessity."
(Mandy Hale)
"Self-Care is Not Selfish. You Cannot Serve From an Empty Vessel."
(Eleanor Brown)
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