There used to be a time in high school when it seemed like girls had to explain if they weren't a virgin. Now they have to explain if they are. Our culture sees virginity as sort of an oddity. Curious. Nice - sort of. Maybe slightly unnatural.
A cable news network once posed this question to their viewers: "Why are we so obsessed with virginity?"
One of the more recent forays into virgin territory was triggered by an HBO interview with Olympian Lolo Jones. She's won gold medals at the World Indoor Championship twice and has been regarded as one of the best hurdlers in the world. But it was a Twitter mention of being a virgin that started the buzz and made this interview news. After all, she's attractive...she's a star athlete...she's fit - and hasn't had sex? What?!
She said, "It's just something, a gift that I want to give to my husband." That's a young woman who understands making sacrifices and working hard to get to a prize. Oh, and she understands the hurdles between her and that finish line. "Please understand" she said, "this journey has been hard. It's the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, harder than training for the Olympics, harder than graduating from college. I've been tempted. I've even had guys tell me 'if you have sex, it will help you run faster.'" Really?
One gutsy woman - with a seriously tested but uncompromised conviction - again, unintentionally, put virginity back in the national conversation. As did NFL quarterback Tim Tebow some time ago when he revealed he is saving sex for one person - his wife. A pro football quarterback? Come on! Lots of head-scratching; and a lot of snickers.
The good news for Lolo and Tim and every man or woman who guards their virginity as a treasure not to be violated is this: you've got God on your side! That's God, as in the Inventor of sex; the Designer of human sexuality, of man, of woman. Oh, yeah, the culture's changed. But you can't change the Creator's plan for His creation.
Jesus said this about sex: "But from the beginning of the creation, God made them male and female’. ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate" (Mark 10:6-9 NKJV). One man with one woman in a lifetime covenant before God. That's how sex was designed to be. Anything else is settling for a twisted or discounted version of the beauty and the fulfillment God planned for us.
The Amplified Bible says it like this: “But from the beginning of creation God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother [to establish a home with his wife], and the two shall become one flesh; so that they are no longer two, but [are united as] one flesh. Therefore, what God has united and joined together, man must not separate [by divorce].” (AMP). This is the Ideal! And “Ideal” is defined as “the most suitable; perfect; a principle to be aimed for; a standard of perfection.” I reiterate, the culture has changed, but the Creator and His Concept of Sex and Marriage have not. However, this does pose the question, if we are in fact His followers, created in His image and likeness, are His ambassadors, representatives, and children, then why have we conformed to the world’s concept of sexuality, instead of remaining uncompromised because of conviction?
The Bible declares: “So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. DON’T BECOME SO WELL-ADJUSTED TO YOUR CULTURE THAT YOU FIT INTO IT WITHOUT EVEN THINKING. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.” (Romans 12:1-2 MSG).
Do Not Compromise Your Christian Conduct to Conform to This World’s Concepts and Culture!
Truth is, God really cares what we do with His incredible love gift called sex. Let’s take a look at what Hebrews 13:4 has to say to us, "Marriage is to be held in honor among all [that is, regarded as something of great value], and the marriage bed undefiled [by immorality or by any sexual sin]; for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous." (AMP). However, the Message Bible says it like this, “Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex.” (MSG). See, God puts a fence (or ring, if you will) around sex and it's called Marriage and He'll judge those who violate it. I didn't say that. God did.
Listen to this: My friend Adrienne has the most amazing vegetable garden I've ever seen and she's got a fence around it. You may ask, "Well, if it’s so amazing, why would she put a fence around it? Why wouldn’t she want to share it with others?" Here’s why, she wants to keep it a garden! The fence is there to keep out the things that would ruin it from being the amazing garden it is. She has to protect it from intruders. And they are always lurking around, why? Because her garden is amazing! However, she created her garden for her husband. You see, he had a heart-attack fairly young, and she wanted to change their way of eating so they would both be around for many years to come, and be in good health in those years as well. In other words, her garden isn’t for everyone! Only her husband. That’s who she created it for and that’s who gets to enjoy it. She's not being Selfish, she’s being Selective. And more of our youth (and many of our adults) need to know the importance of that!
So, you see, that's why God put a fence around sex and called it marriage. It's not there to deprive us or others of something good or fun. It's there to protect us from ruining something beautiful. After all, a garden is where beautiful things continue to grow…if it's kept safe.
The story of Isaac and Rebekah in Genesis 24 always amazes me (I pray you take time today to read it, or re-read it). What a great story of waiting and selecting appropriately. Although I love the whole story, let’s look at just a small portion, Genesis 24:15-17, “It so happened that the words were barely out of his mouth when Rebekah, the daughter of Bethuel whose mother was Milcah the wife of Nahor, Abraham’s brother, came out with a water jug on her shoulder. The girl was stunningly beautiful, a pure virgin…” (MSG). Like Lolo in our earlier story, Rebekah is, in the words of Scripture, “…stunningly beautiful…” And Yet, “…a pure virgin…”And when you read the full chapter of ALL Rebekah received by the conclusion, you’ll understand why I press so hard for teens and young women to remain virgins and wait for God’s Best! You see, Rebekah didn’t just receive a husband and her family’s blessing, but she also received great riches and wealth, and so did her family. And all because a stunningly beautiful pure virgin waited and was selected! Don’t you think you’re just as worthy? If not, please be assured, GOD DOES!
Acts 21:7-9, “A short run from Tyre to Ptolemais completed the voyage. We greeted our Christian friends there and stayed with them a day. In the morning we went on to Caesarea and stayed with Philip the Evangelist, one of “the Seven.” Philip had four virgin daughters who prophesied.: (MSG). Philip had four adult daughters who were virgins and fulfilling ministry. Daughter, you can do the same. Is there pressure there too? Absolutely! It’s a harsh truth, but you have quite a few “clergy” who are nothing more than “2-legged dogs in collars”…literally! You’ll get all sorts of offers, and some will be tempting, however, don’t take it! Wait for God! You are valuable, and that means everything about you should be protected and treasured! And even though his daughters were adults, they were still virgins. Therefore, those that are in their 20’s and even 30’s, remember this, you are still worth the wait! Don’t let loneliness, comparisons, and coveting desires cause you to move out of the Will of God for your life. Don’t accept just any man for the sake of having one. Don’t settle no matter what the offer may be. Don’t get trapped by the “well when do you plan on getting married? Is there at least a man in the picture? Are you dating yet? Don’t you want children? Isn’t your biological clock ticking? How old are you again?”
Furthermore, please don’t watch Lifetime, Hallmark and Romantic Movies that suggests that you’re perfect knight in shining armor is on the way in just 2 days! It’s 2018, there are no knights in shining armor galloping around on horses looking for a damsel that needs protecting! However, there is a perfectly imperfect man that God has for you and he’ll come to you in God’s perfect timing! Until then, like Philip’s daughter, do ministry! Sounds comical, but I’m telling you the truth! And don’t just get caught up in ministry either! Take yourself to the movies and dinner, or go out with friends! Travel, focus on your career, go to school, join the gym, take up cooking classes, learn a new art…are you getting this? There’s more to life than sex, marriage, and men! Value yourself enough to take care of yourself. Stop waiting to live with someone, and just LIVE! Stop buying the 5 principles, 7 keys, 10 steps manuals on how to get married to prince charming in 21 days or less! Respect yourself, your virginity and your life enough to value yourself! As my mother once said to me “Be careful, because not everything you do can be undone.” So, don’t marry him, don’t have sex with him, just wait on God and enjoy life in the meantime!
The "you're a virgin?" reactions Lolo Jones received as a public person? They're not unique to her. Every person who refuses to bow their knee to the culture's pressure to be "normal," as in sexually active, knows the drill. It's like you're weird or something. It makes me think of the valuable baseball card collection my god-brother built as a boy. The best ones - the ones worth investing in - were those that were hard to find. They were rare. Oh, you could buy a ton of what they called "commons" - the cards there are plenty of - you could get those for cheap. But the rare ones? Valuable! And so are you! Reminds me of the quote that says, “A woman’s heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her.” (Max Lucado). And might I add an addendum? So should her body!
Daughter, it may seem strange, odd, weird and even abnormal to some, but isn’t that the way believers are supposed to be anyhow? “But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, A PECULIAR PEOPLE; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light;” (1 Peter 2:9) That word “Peculiar” means “Strange, Different or Odd”. But its Latin Origin “Peculiaris” from “Peculium” literally means “Of Private Property.” How Awesome is that?! You, with your Peculiar, Strange, Different and Odd Self are Still God’s Private Property!
In addition, the word “Strange” means “Unusual, Not Previously Visited, Seen, or Encountered, Unfamiliar”. It’s French Origin “Estrange”, from Latin “Extraneus” literally means “External Strange”. Sisters, Be glad you are NOT like anybody else, nor do you need to compete or compare yourself! Truth is, Yes, You are Strange! You are Unusual, No One Has Ever Seen YOU before because there has only been and will only be YOU! And with all the “External” stuff you don’t like about yourself, it’s actually what makes you Uniquely, Stunningly, Unusually Beautiful! You are like no one else, and no one else is like you! And That’s a Good Thing! So let them stop and stare and wonder what’s “wrong” with you, truth is you’re just living right!
To all the "Lolos" and "Tim’s" who still cherish their irreplaceable gift of purity, just know that the finish line - and God's gold medal - are worth the sacrifice and worth the wait!
And for another rare breed, those who I like to call “renewed” virgins, your “virginity” is just as valuable! The word “renew” simply means “to resume or re-establish after an interruption; to give fresh life or strength to; to replace or restore (something broken or worn out).” Maybe you’ve already given your virginity away, but you’ve decided to go back to God and receive forgiveness and refreshing. Let no one tell you it’s too late to begin again. All you have to do is decide that I’m worth the wait. And until God sends My Husband, I Will Wait! I love the meaning of “renewed” that says “to resume or re-establish after an interruption…” Yes, you messed up! But No, that doesn’t have to be the ending of your story! You interrupted your walk with God but you can always resume it! Look at it like this: One day I was on my treadmill, but it was going too fast and I tripped. I pressed the “pause” button, slowed down the speed to a safer one for me, then I pressed the “resume” button to continue. I didn’t quit exercising because I tripped. I made the wise decision to stop, make a better, healthier and safer adjustment and then resumed my workout. Sisters, you can too! No matter your age, or how many times you’ve messed up, just decide to stop, make better, healthier and safer adjustments and then resume living right and holy for God! And for those really “deep” church folks, No, you can’t undo the experience of sexual intercourse, but you can undo the mindset that says sexual intercourse took you too far off-course to get back on track! That is a lie! The laws of the land may dictate when, where, and if you can make a U-Turn, but with God, It Is Always Allowed!
Women of God, YOU, ALL OF YOU, is Valuable to God! Don’t Cheapen the King’s Royalty With a Joker!
1 Corinthians 6:16-20, "There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, “The two become one.” Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never “become one.” There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for “becoming one” with another. Or didn’t you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body." (MSG)
Much Love, Dr.Shermaine #InformativeRead #PleaseShare #HealthyBodySoulAndSpirit
"It's Not Selfish to Love Yourself, Take Care of Yourself and to Make Your Happiness a Priority. It's a Necessity." (Mandy Hale)
"Self-Care is Not Selfish. You Cannot Serve From an Empty Vessel." (Eleanor Brown)
