“Anxiety About Money and How to Find Relief”

 

Do you worry about money? Countless people do—surveys consistently find that finances are one of the most common sources of anxiety. Maybe you worry about having enough money for retirement. Or perhaps you’re living paycheck to paycheck and struggling to pay your rent or mortgage on time. Mounting credit card debt only adds to the unease.

I first encountered financial anxiety as a kid, sensing my dad’s stress as he tried to make ends meet with five boys and one income. I remember my mom paying for groceries with food stamps and getting our clothes from a local free bin. And while my situation as an adult is different from what my parents experienced, I’ve felt the stress and uncertainty of being self-employed. It’s easy to imagine how fragile our family’s position is, and how a serious illness or injury could severely disrupt the life we share. I also know from both personal and professional experience that anxiety about money isn’t entirely dependent on your financial situation. There was a time when I earned more than I do now yet felt more worried about our finances. On the opposite end, as I was growing up, I saw my parents remain calm even when their finances seemed hopelessly tight, leaning on their faith (my dad was a minister) and heeding Bible verses that encouraged them to trust God for all things. And in my clinical work, I’ve seen patients show tremendous resilience in the face of major financial pressure, like being fired from one’s job in midlife, or being unable to work because of depression or other disability.

So, while our actual financial situation is one variable that can trigger anxiety about money, there are ways to manage these concerns. See what happens when you apply some of the following suggestions.

REMEMBER THAT EVEN FINANCIAL RUIN WOULD NOT BE THE END OF THE WORLD: We often imagine that our feared financial catastrophe—going bankrupt, losing our job, facing foreclosure on our home—would mean the end of life, like a cliff at the edge of the world. I feel this way myself. When I worry about the fallout if I were no longer able to work, my imagination usually stops at “… and then we would lose our house,” which feels like Game Over. And yet, if that were to actually happen it would simply be a challenge that we would need to face together as a family, as so many families have. The ending we imagine exists only in our minds. In reality, life will go on, and no matter what may happen there will be something that comes next. Rather than anticipating a terrible conclusion, you can remember that life is big enough to contain your feared financial outcomes and won’t end even if they come true.

PRACTICE GRATITUDE TOWARD MONEY: “Zen Millionaire” Ken Honda describes practicing arigato with money, which means saying “thank you” each time it’s given or received. Through this practice you can develop what he calls “Happy Money,” in which positive emotions are attached to your money instead of fear, guilt, resentment, and so forth. When we get paid, we can say thank you. When we pass the money along to someone else in exchange for something we need, we can say thank you. When we have unexpected medical bills that drain our savings, we can say thank you that we can afford the care for ourselves or our family members, and that medical expertise is available (I’ve had to use this one myself on multiple occasions). Gratitude is death to anxiety about money.

MAKE A BUDGET: Sometimes anxiety about money comes from not knowing where it’s going or how much we actually have. We might even avoid making a budget and tracking our expenses because of anxiety, like putting off a doctor’s visit because we fear the diagnosis. You can stop this kind of avoidance by leaning directly into it. Don’t worry if you’re not sure where to start—there are many resources available to help. You’ll probably feel more anxiety as you get started, which is normal. As you stick with it and get more familiar with the specifics of your finances, your anxiety will decrease.

LOOK DEEPER THAN MONEY: Anxiety about money typically points to something deeper. You can discover the underlying fears that drive your financial anxiety by asking, what would be the worst thing if _____ happened? Fill in the blank with whatever you’re afraid of—losing your job, not being able to pay the rent, etc. Continue asking yourself what the worst thing would be about what you’re afraid of until you find your deepest fear—is it ending up homeless? Being inadequate? Losing the respect of your friends and family? If you never question your surface-level anxieties, the actual root of your concerns will remain hidden and unaddressed. Once you identify the deeper fear, you can address it directly (perhaps with the assistance of a therapist). For example, you might discover deep-seated beliefs about not deserving to be happy, or about being fundamentally not enough. Your money worries can lessen as you make real changes in these core beliefs. 

BUILD YOUR RELATIONSHIPS: Most of our fretting about money comes from our desire to reach something called “financial security,” in which we no longer are worried about our finances. Unfortunately, this type of security is an illusion. In fact, as our savings and portfolios grow, so do our worries: What if the stock market crashes? What if the financial system goes belly up? As long as we place our faith in our financial situation, we’ll continue to have reason to worry. The best insurance against financial calamity, advises Ken Honda, is to invest in our relationships. Whereas money’s true value comes only from exchanging it for something else like food or clothing, relationships are inherently rewarding. And no matter what happens with our money, the people that truly care about us will be there for us when we need them. On a very practical level, they might offer food or a place to live in a time of crisis. Relationship investments are low risk with a very high rate of return.

OPEN TO UNCERTAINTY: Anxiety about money comes from uncertainty about the future and our lack of control over how things will unfold. We don’t know if our company will downsize, or if the economy will tank, or whether climate change will trigger an economic catastrophe. We often expend tons of energy trying to figure out the future and make it align with our wishes. These efforts to eliminate uncertainty and the anxiety that comes with it actually backfires as they strengthen our implicit belief that we should be able to control the uncontrollable. Why not let go of the struggle? Uncertainty is what makes life an adventure. In fact, the outcomes we fear often turn out better than what we were hoping for, like when a devastating job loss ends up leading to a much more rewarding career. Instead of trying to erase uncertainty about the future, we can embrace it.

SHIFT YOUR PERSPECTIVE: Popular culture is saturated with images of happiness, wealth, and success. Your social media feeds probably are, too. Thus, it’s easy to start to think that “everyone” is doing fine financially, and that your concerns are unique and personal. This imagined contrast between your situation and everyone else’s can trigger not only anxiety but envy and resentment. It can help to consider those who are worse off than you, and who would give their right arm to have your money worries. I know for myself that the “worst-case scenario” of my financial concerns are a far cry from the kind of abject poverty in which countless people live and die—where children starve, the “middle class” lives in tin shanties, and the homeless die from exposure to the elements.

FINALLY, KEEP IN MIND THAT JOY IS ALWAYS AN OPTION, NO MATTER WHAT YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES: Psychiatrist Viktor Frankl called “choosing one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances” the “last of human freedoms”—a principle he learned through his experience in a Nazi concentration camp. This maxim applies perfectly to our financial concerns. As we release our anxieties about money, we can more fully enjoy what is ours. Determine today to notice all that you have, including the food you eat, the clothes you wear, and the home that shelters you. No matter what your bank balance says, enjoying your life will feel like truly being rich.

BY: Seth J. Gillihan, PhD, Clinical Psychologist, WebMD, August 13, 2019

Much Love, Dr.Shermaine, #InformativeRead #PleaseShare #HealthyBodySoulAndSpirit #IWantYou2LiveWell #FeelFree2SignUpAndFollow

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"The OLD Me is Ready for NEW!"

 

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a NEW creature; OLD things have passed away; behold, all things have become NEW.” (2 Corinthians 5:17) 

Far too many of us, are stuck in the same old routines, forgetting that Isaiah said, “Do not remember the former things, Nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a NEW thing…” Then Paul takes us into the New Testament with this statement, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a NEW creature; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become NEW.” And nothing is clearer then Romans 6:4, “Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in NEWNESS of life.” Did you catch that last part? “Walk In NEWNESS…“! Walk implies ACTIVITY. Notice also that “Walk” is PRESENT TENSE, not walked, like an old activity, but “Walk”, as in TODAY, RIGHT NOW, CURRENTLY, NEW!  

AS OVERCOMERS, YOU ARE TO WALK IN NEW VICTORIES EVERYDAY! DAILY WAVING A FLAG OF VICTORY IN THE DEVIL’S FACE! With that said you have to ask, if “NEWNESS” is supposed to be so EVIDENT in the life of a believer, WHY ARE WE SO CRAZY-GLUED TO THE “OLD?”  

                

Listen to what Tony Evans writes: “Every day you get out of the same OLD bed and go to the same OLD bathroom to look at the same OLD face in the same OLD mirror. You go to the same OLD closet to choose from the same OLD clothes, then sit down at the same OLD breakfast table to eat the same OLD breakfast. Then you go to that same OLD garage and get into that same OLD car to head down that same OLD road to that same OLD job. There you work all day for that same OLD paycheck, next to those same OLD people, supervised by that same OLD manager. Then you get back into that same OLD car and head back down that same OLD road to that same OLD house. Once you are home you sit down in that same OLD chair to watch that same OLD television. At the end of the day you go to that same OLD bed and sleep that same OLD way, so you can get up the next morning and start that same OLD routine all over again.“               

In case you didn’t know, THAT IS NOT THE MENTALITY OF AN OVERCOMER! OVERCOMERS ARE DAILY IN HIGH PURSUIT OF SOME NEW CHALLENGES TO OVERCOME!  

LISTEN, GOD DID NOT CREATE US, AND HE MOST CERTAINLY DIDN’T REDEEM US, TO LIVE A PURPOSELESS EXISTENCE! OVERCOMERS DON’T EXIST—THEY LIVE AND THEY LIVE NOT JUST ABUNDANTLY—BUT MORE ABUNDANTLY! For the Bible declares, “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, AND THAT THEY MAY HAVE IT MORE ABUNDANTLY” (John 10:10)  

WHAT IS CURRENTLY AROUND US IS NOT ALL THERE IS FOR US! GOD HAS AN AWESOME CUSTOMIZED PLAN FOR EACH OF US! WE SIMPLY NEED TO SEEK IT, FIND IT, AND LIVE IT TO THE FULLEST!                  

The Scripture says, “No one puts a piece of unshrunk cloth on an old garment; for the patch pulls away from the garment, and the tear is made worse. Nor do they put NEW wine into old wineskins, or else the wineskins are ruined. But they put NEW wine into NEW wineskins, and both are preserved.”  

When something is PRESERVED it means it’s, “KEPT, MAINTAINED, AND PROTECTED“. And what’s being “KEPT, MAINTAINED, AND PROTECTED?” YOUR NEWNESS! UNDERSTAND THAT THE OLD CAUSES DAMAGE, IT TEARS, IT DESTROYS, IT PULLS AWAY, IT SEVERS, BUT THE NEW IS PRESERVED!  

IN A NUTSHELL: IT’S TIME TO BREAK-OUT OF THE OLD, AND BREAK-IN TO THE NEW!                 

Overcomers, crush that devil under your foot on this current level, then lift it and put it on the next level and the next devil and attain your next New Victory!                 

Homework Assignment: Read and keep in mind these Revelation Promises to the Overcomer:                  

Revelation 2:7, “He who is able to hear, let him listen to and give heed to what the Spirit says to the assemblies (churches). To Him Who Overcomes (Is Victorious), I Will Grant to Eat [Of the Fruit] of the Tree of Life, Which is in the Paradise of God.” (AMP). 

                

Revelation 3:5, “He Who Overcomes Will Thus Be Clothed In White Garments; and I Will Not Erase His Name From the Book of Life, and I Will Confess His Name Before My Father and Before His Angels.” (NASB).   

              

Revelation 3:21, “He Who Overcomes (Is Victorious), I Will Grant Him to Sit Beside Me On My Throne, As I Myself Overcame (Was Victorious) and Sat Down Beside My Father On His Throne.” (AMP).   

              

Revelation 21:7, “He Who Overcomes Will Inherit These Things, and I Will Be His God and He Will Be My Son.” (NASB).       

           

Grab a hold of these promises and you will never again settle to live the same ole same ole life again!

“We were buried therefore with Him by the baptism into death, so that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glorious [power] of the Father, so we too might [habitually] live and behave in NEWNESS of life.” (Romans 6:4 AMP)

IT’S NOT ENOUGH THAT IT’S DEAD—YOU HAVE TO BURY IT!

LISTEN: You can’t afford to let your past infect your present or sabotage your future! That’s why certain things that refuse to be healed, must be forsaken and forgotten! There are people praising God in Church every Sunday who lie awake in the privacy of their homes, digging up bones, picking at scars and reliving old memories. You need to accept that some issues will never be resolved, and if you let them, they’ll take up residence in your head and in your heart! [The what if’s? The should have’s? The maybe’s?] These will all drive you nuts…if you let them!

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., said, “A man can’t ride your back unless it’s bent.”  

So straighten yourself up and straighten yourself out! You Will Not Stay This Way!

I do thank God for the Apostle Paul though. Because he was honest enough to admit that he still struggled in certain areas. Unlike those with a Pharisee spirit who condemn others for doing the very things they do themselves, Paul confessed, “But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can’t keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don’t have what it takes. I can will it, but I can’t do it. I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.” (Romans 7:17-20 MSG).

Thanks Paul, from the rest of us who mistakenly thought that once we became Christians, there’d be no more struggles! Thanks for helping some of us who thought that once we became Bishop, Pastor, Elder, Teacher, Prophet, that the struggles would be over. That once we reached our 20 years saved, 15 years in ministry, 10 years healed and 5 years delivered, that the struggles would be over. Well, I’m here to serve notice on you: The Struggles Are Not Over! They continue! That’s why we were told to “Fight the good Fight of faith…” (1 Timothy 6:12). Not that we fought (past tense) the good fight. But this is a Current and Continual battle! YET, it’s one that doesn’t have to defeat us. 

I remember watching a boxing fight with my dad many years ago. And one of the guys was beaten BAD! I said ‘why don’t he just lay down and stay down?’ My dad said ‘that’s hard to do when you’re a real fighter, because real fighters always have another round in ‘em. They know how to punch past the pain and obtain the prize. They may get beat up, but they won’t give up, until they get the belt. That’s a real fighter. And that’s why he can’t just lay down and stay down.’ I didn’t appreciate those words of wisdom then, but I do now. I’ve learned that daily if I’m going to win, then daily I’ve got to fight! And so do you! So keep your head up, your gloves on, and your feet moving! Because I’m persuaded there’s another round in you!

Listen, Paul continues to advise us. He says, “Consider yourselves to be dead to sin.” (Romans 6:11). In other words, stop pursuing dead issues; admit them, quit them and forget them! Instead of struggling to change what can’t be changed, let God’s transforming power sweep through your life and sever the ties between you and all those tormenting thoughts from your past. And by no means mistakenly think like others have. Because your past is not just what happened 20 years ago, 15 years ago or even 1 year ago. What happened 60 seconds ago is still considered the past! Many of us aren’t just wrestling with decade old stuff, but we’ve got stuff that happened this morning, and our day hasn’t been right since! Let that thing go! You can’t go back and change it or rearrange it, so let it be. Cry a River, Build a Bridge, and Get Over It!

Think about it: If you keep looking in the rear-view mirror, you’re going to eventually crash into something ahead of you! And I would hate for that to be your blessing, your miracle, your breakthrough, your season or your way out! You don’t want to damage what’s before you, by daydreaming about what’s behind you! Sure, you have to utilize all the mirrors on your vehicle to some degree. But keep in mind, the main one is looking straight ahead out the windshield! Looking, anticipating, ready, expecting, seeking for what yet lies ahead! SO…“Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it?” (Isaiah 43:18-19 MSG).  

Adjust Your Focus On Your Future! The Vision For Your Future Will Always Look Distorted When You View It Through Eyes That Can Only See The Past!

Warning: Paying Attention to Your Past, Will Cost Your Present a Pretty Penny and Your Future a Fortune! Don’t Bankrupt The Blessing Before You!

“What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?” (Romans 7:24).

In New Testament times capital punishment was sometimes carried out by tying a murder victim’s body directly onto the perpetrator. That way wherever he went, he was literally weighed down by his crime, with no way to escape the stench of decomposing flesh. Eventually, the bacteria-filled corpse infected him too, and he died an agonizing death. In other words, his Cause of Death was ‘Carrying What He Did In The Past Into His Present!’ People of God, Get Your Past Off You Before It Kills You!

Some days Paul felt the weight of his old nature pressing in, reminding him of things from his past that he couldn’t change or eradicate. Recognizing how past events can color the present, Paul describes himself as “a wretched man,” and asks, “Who will rescue me from this body of death?” The fact is, you can’t move ahead with “the old man” still clinging to you; you must bury him or he’ll kill you!

However, even Death doesn’t have the Finality that Burial does! You see, part of coming to closure involves disposing of the body! 

Truth is: Funerals are for the Living; they give people an opportunity to accept that their loved one has gone on and the relationship as they knew it is now over. So, as you embark on a New Day with a New Perspective and New Determination, isn’t it time you stopped carrying the past (your yesterdays) around on your back? We can all see what you’re carrying is dead, so why can’t you see it?! Do us all a favor and take that thing to a burial site and bury it! Surely you don’t want to go into 2021 with the dead stench of 2020’s residue! You’ve Smelled OLD Long Enough!

Paul says, “Present yourselves to God as those alive from the dead.” (Romans 6:13). In other words, refuse to let old memories negotiate a deal with the new you! Bury them, and do it today! You can’t afford a secret love affair with a corpse! It’s time for an epitaph, not a revival! Let That Thing Go Today!

An ‘Epitaph’ is ‘words written in memory of a person who has died, particularly on their tombstone’. It’s Greek origin means ‘over’ or ‘at a tomb’.

Tell yourself, all my past issues I’m taking to the tomb TODAY and I’m burying it! Yes it hurts, it’s disappointing, it’s caused me severe suffering and pain, but TODAY I’m burying it! The actions were painful, the words were hurtful, the thoughts were discouraging, but I’m burying it TODAY! I refuse to let it hang around in the funeral home. TODAY, I’m packing it up and finding an available plot, and if not, I’m fed up enough to dig one myself! One way or another this thing is being buried TODAY!

Saints, Whatever You Do, Know That You Don’t Have To Stay This Way! You Don’t Have to Settle For This! You Don’t Have To Accept This! NO! Change Begins With You, And Your Change Begins Today! The Old You Will Not Enter The New Year, The New Month or the New Day! Enough Is Enough!

Albert Einstein said it best: “Nothing Happens Until Something Moves” And That Something Is YOU! Get To Moving Out of the Old and Into the New…TODAY!

With that thought, Paul admonishes us once more: “…let’s just go ahead and be what we were made to be…” (Romans 12:4 MSG). 

Listen: We’ve been delaying and denying healing and deliverance and growth for far too long now! Let’s just get on with becoming the new and wonderful person God has already crafted us to be. Let’s move from who we were to who we are meant to be!

 
Wave goodbye to 2020 and high-five 2021! 

Look in the mirror right now and tell yourself: THE OLD ME IS FINALLY READY FOR NEW! Past…Rest In Peace! Future…Get Ready For Revival!

Much Love, Dr. Shermaine 

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