Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine: “Clutter vs. Hoarding: What's the Difference?”

When is a mess more than just a mess? You may worry that your paper-piled desk or clothes-strewn rooms mean you're a hoarder bound for a TV reality show. But most people, even sloppy ones, fall somewhere closer to normal on the clutter scale.

What's Hoarding? Someone who hoards collects huge amounts of things, often items of little value like ketchup packets or papers. "They don't have one can opener, they have 40," says Regina Lark, PhD, of the National Association of Professional Organizers. She specializes in helping hoarders. A hoarder finds it painful to let go of things, so she never does. Stuff piles up in ways that are unsafe or affect the person’s dealings with others. "Their shower stalls have become storage units and you can't walk up the stairs." Falls and fires are two big dangers. Marriages often strain when one spouse can't resist hauling more seemingly useless items into a house that’s already bursting. In 2013, hoarding disorder was named a distinct mental illness. Only 2% to 5% of people have this diagnosis. Some researchers think that for some people, severe hoarding may be a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Other studies suggest hoarding may sometimes be related to ADHD or Dementia.

What's Clutter? Many people live with a fair amount of mess, but the home is safe to move around in; they can straighten up enough to feel at ease having guests. Rooms are used the way they're meant to (no paper piles in the bathtub). Some people collect lots of things, but unlike a hoarder's stuff, these items have value or personal meaning. Displays of holiday décor or model trains bring pleasure and pride, not the shame or sadness that often comes with hoarding. Where hoarding is a mental health concern, "clutter is largely in the eyes of the beholder," says Margit Novack, president of the National Association of Senior Move Managers. "Different people are comfortable with different degrees of clutter." People with problem-level clutter, though, may have trouble keeping their home tidy, even after they get help with cleaning or organizing. The mess returns.

Signs of Trouble: A red flag is when clutter affects your daily life. Ask yourself questions like these:

Do you buy many of the same things over time, because you can't find what you already have?

Does your stuff prevent you from having people over or having enough money?

Are you late paying bills because you can’t find your bills?

Do you have trouble getting dinner ready on time?

Does someone complain about your stuff? Does it cause family fights?

Are there narrow "goat trails" in your house to walk through between tall mounds of stuff?

Do you ever feel "I'm out of control" or feel bad looking at your piles of clutter?

"Yes" answers mean your clutter might be a problem for you or others.

How to Keep Clutter in Check:

Watch what you do: When you bring in mail, where does it go? When you see exactly how your clutter snowballs, you can get a better idea of how to stop it, Lark says. Could you stop at a recycle bin on your way from the mailbox to get rid of junk mail?

Name the problem. People often tell Lark, "I cleaned my desk, but it all came back." This language distances you from the real issue of what's going on in that space. "It" isn't the problem -- your habits are.

Set concrete limits. Saying "I'll buy less" is too vague. Better to say, "I'll limit my mess to these two rooms," Novack says.

Accept neatness as a lifelong issue for you. "It's a constant struggle, like losing 50 pounds and needing help to maintain it," Novack says. "You might gain 5 back and have to work hard not to gain 10 or 15."

Try formal help. Self-help groups like Clutterers Anonymous and Messies Anonymous give ongoing support. A pro organizer can help you get on top of things and learn ways to improve. Also useful are cognitive behavioral therapy and treatment of underlying issues, such as ADHD or depression.

By Paula Spencer Scott (WebMD Feature) / Reviewed by Joseph Goldberg, MD

“Clearing Clutter: Organization Tips for Moms”

By Gina Shaw (WebMD Feature) / Reviewed By Hansa D. Bhargava, MD

Having children multiplies clutter in your house to the nth power. Toys, clothes, school papers, dioramas of the solar system, tiny action figures, the list goes on. It started out as your house, but somehow it's been taken over by the kids and their stuff.

You can reclaim your home from kid clutter by following seven simple rules from life coaches and family counselors:

1. De-Clutter in Manageable Bits: When you look at your chaos-filled house, the idea of decluttering it seems overwhelming. So don’t. Instead, take 30 minutes a day to put one small part of your house in order -- the junk drawer, your shoe rack, your kids’ art supplies. After a week or two, you’ll start seeing a big difference in your home.

2. Save the Best From Each Child: Your child will bring home a virtual Louvre of art projects and worksheets almost every week, says Debi Silber, MS, RD, author of A Pocket Full of Mojo: 365 Proven Strategies To Create Your Ultimate Body, Mind, Image and Lifestyle. You may feel like the Grinch when you toss some of it, but the alternative is to end up a hoarder. Silber suggests tossing rote worksheets and other generic stuff right away. But save standout artwork and star projects in a file box in your kitchen or den, one file box for each child. "At the end of the school year, go through the box and decide what you really want to keep, then put it in a plastic bin in the attic or the basement with a label on it for name, age, and grade," Silber says.

3. Color Your Children's World: If you have more than one child, color code easily misplaced or disorganized things by child. For one child, a blue bath towel, lunch box, and toothbrush. Red for another. Green for another. "That way it’s easy to know what belongs to whom, and who needs to put something away," says Silber.

4. Thumbs Up, Thumbs Down on Kids Old Toys: Involve your children in choosing when it’s time to get rid of toys, sports equipment, and other stuff.
"I’d bring a trash bag into my kids’ rooms and they’d sit on the bed, and I’d hold up something and they’d give me a thumbs up or a thumbs down," says Silber. Thumbs down means it goes in the trash bag for donation (or the actual trash, if it’s in poor enough condition.) If your child’s a pack rat and clings desperately to every toy, Silber suggests this trick: every so often, pack up a box with the items you know they’ve lost interest in. Stash it in the garage or the basement for six months. "Then, tell them, ‘I’ve been cleaning out your room, and there’s a bunch of stuff in the garage. Want to take a look before I give it away?’" she says. "Most of the time they’ll say no.

5. Use the Right Organizers: You don’t have to buy out the nearest office supply store, but a few carefully chosen organizing items can help keep the clutter from overtaking your life. Silber’s go-to choice: the over-the-door shoe bag. Hang it over your child’s bedroom door or in the playroom as an easy place to stash small items like hair accessories, stickers and beads, and art supplies.
Jessica Hupf, MA, a marriage and family therapist intern in private practice in Westlake Village, Calif., recommends the tried-and-true three-ring binder. "Moms can drown in paperwork," she says. "Work, school, household bills, and so on. Get a bunch of three-ring binders and a hole punch and go through and separate it all: a binder for each child’s school papers, a binder for bills, one for home projects, and so on."

6. Change Old Patterns: Does this sound familiar? You spend an entire weekend decluttering your junk drawer or the hall closet, and then a month later, it’s even more cluttered than before? Stephanie Somanchi, PhD, an executive life coach who has worked with Nike and U.S. Bank, suggests taking some time and figuring out your daily rhythms, so you understand why a particular space keeps getting cluttered. "If your go-to behavior is to drop your keys and mail on the kitchen counter, you’ll continue that clutter pattern every time you clean it all up," she says "Figure out how to change that pattern: have a mail sorter and a set of hooks by the kitchen door, or come in a different door and go straight to your home office."

7. Ask Why Before You Accept Clutter: The final key to decluttering, Somanchi says, is asking yourself why you’re keeping some of the stuff that is crowding your floors, closets, halls, and drawers. "Is your junk drawer huge because you’re thinking about ‘What if I need this mismatched set of screws someday?’" she asks. "Or are you keeping every single thing your child ever put a crayon to because you’re afraid it makes you a bad mom to throw something away? Think about why you’re keeping something and if it really makes sense in your life."URCES:

Reviewed by Hansa D. Bhargava, MD on February 27, 2012

“Bust Your Clutter Hotspots!”

Entry Hall Dump: It's clutter ground zero: raincoats, purses, backpacks, and gym bags.

What It May Mean: Your family is distracted and eager to move on to the next activity when they get home. So they simply drop things as they walk in the door.

Quick Foyer Fixes: Think of the foyer as a launching pad, not a dumping ground. Leave only things that are ready to go out the door.

Use shelves and hooks on coat closet wall space.
A tasteful tower of hatboxes can hold out-of-season hats, mittens, and shoes.
Hold onto your sports gear when you walk in the door. The "finish line" for gym clothes is the laundry room, not the foyer. Equipment can go to the garage.

Overstuffed Pantry: You can cram a lot of stuff in there -- cookie sprinkles, low-fat snack bars, industrial-sized bottles of ketchup -- even though it's probably hard to find what you need. You may even forget what's in there.

What It May Mean: You're an impulse buyer -- you like to try new things or you can't resist a bargain. Or you buy foods you want to or think you should eat, but you never eat them.

Prune the Pantry: To make your pantry work:

Check dates and get rid of foods that have expired.
Think like a grocer: Group foods by type and label the shelves. Put things that you would use together, like baking supplies, in a box or basket that you can find easily.
Check the pantry when you make a shopping list. Don't buy spaghetti sauce until you've used the jars you already have, even if it's on sale. Stick to your list when you shop.

Mail Mountain: You may throw it in a box, stack it in neat piles, or shove it in a drawer. No matter how your mail piles up, it's a problem if you miss bills, report cards, tax forms, or other must-haves.

What It May Mean: Snail mail clutter, like email inbox clutter, is often about putting off decisions, organizers say. You need to decide what to do with each piece, which takes time.

Clear Paper Clutter: You can sort and shred, but it's easier to cut down on mail.

Get your bills online.
You can get most other mailed items online too, like magazines, newspapers, and concert schedules.
Snap a cell phone photo of junk mail you want to stop. There are free apps that can cancel it for you.

What about those piles of catalogs, with pages you've marked for things you'd like to buy? Take a photo of the page instead.

Random Refrigerator Door Clutter: It's both a display case and mission control: schedules, phone lists, coupons, invitations, children's artwork, photos, souvenir magnets, and other things you want to remember. A typical door holds 52 objects that may cover 90% of its surface.

What It May Mean: You stick things on the refrigerator to remember the family's good times and must-dos. But there's so much there, you don't see anything.

Less Is More on the Door: To make things neat and visible:

First, take down everything. Put mementos in a bag for two weeks. If you find you can live without them, discard.
Move reminders like dry cleaning tags to your car or wallet. Once a week, like when you get gas, go through them and toss out the ones you don't need.
Rotate magnets, photos, and artwork so you see them with a fresh eye.

Bathroom Counter Chaos: One bathroom counter might have many toothbrushes, shampoos, and skin-care products left out on it, as well as a jumble of makeup and a few stray toothpaste caps.

What It May Mean: You're a perfectionist, always searching for the best products. Or you like to try new things. Or you can't resist "gift with purchase" buys.

Change Sloppy to Serene: Try these tips:

How many bottles of conditioner or lipsticks in the same shade can a person use at once? Limit it to one of each item per person.
Give each person a shower tote or basket for his stuff. Keep them in cubbies or cabinets.
Arrange things that must be within easy reach on a tray to make bathroom cleaning easier.
Make a rule: No one opens a new shampoo or other product until she finishes the one she already has.

The Junk-Heaped Garage: It's the bonus room for our material world spillover: About 75% of U.S. garages are too full to fit a car. Yours has big-box store purchases, a refrigerator to store extra food, holiday decorations, unused fly-fishing gear, and crafting supplies.

What It May Mean: You like to stockpile food and supplies. You gear up for hobbies you end up dropping. You tell yourself that you'll sell your unwanted stuff online.

From Gnarly to Neat Garage: Garage clutter-busters:

Find a good home for items you won't use again. If you're not sure about something, put it in a box, tape it up, and date it. If you don't need to use it in 18 months, get rid of it.
Use shelves to hold bulk supplies.
Borrow or rent costly gear for a new hobby until you know you'll stick with it.
Before you buy more seasonal decorations, check to see if you have room to store them.

Beloved Junk Drawer: Everyone's got one. Some people have one in each room. Many people love their junk drawer. It's home to all kinds of random things: batteries, birthday candles, stray buttons and tacks, change from various countries, stamps, tools, take-out menus, receipts, SIM cards, stamps, flash drives, and rubber bands.

What It May Mean: You're normal.

Problem Drawer No More: There's no need to get rid of your junk drawer. But clear it out when it gets too crazy to be useful:

Take everything out and pile similar items together. Get rid of things like expired coupons and spare keys that you can’t identify.
Buy a plastic tray with dividers, or repurpose baby wipes or cigar boxes, mint tins, and mesh bags. Group similar items together. This can be a fun job for children on a rainy day.

Kid Clutter Takeover: Dolls on the sofa, board books in the bathroom, train tracks down the hall. After your children (and their friends) play with toys, they don't put them away -- and you don't make them.

What It May Mean: You have other priorities: You value creativity and play over neatness, or doing homework over picking up. Or your kids don't pick up because you don't. Or you buy too many toys.

Tidy Up Toyland: To calm children's clutter and reclaim adult space:

Make some rooms "no toy" zones. Toys left in them go into a penalty box to be earned back with chores or good behavior.
Make a rule that your children -- and their friends -- can't start a new activity until they clean up the first one.
Model good behavior: Let your child see you pick up your stuff.
Keep it fresh: Put out one stuffed animal or one bath toy at a time. Rotate toys in and out of use.

Reviewed by David T. Derrer, MD on March 24, 2014

SOURCES:

Greater Good Science Center, University of California, Berkeley: "How to Eliminate 'Junk Stimulus.'"
Lynne Johnson, certified professional organizer; past president, National Study Group on Chronic Disorganization.
Geralin Thomas, certified professional organizer; founder, Metropolitan Organizing; past president, North Carolina Chapter National Association of Professional Organizers.
Michael A. Tompkins, PhD, psychologist, San Francisco Bay Area Center for Cognitive Therapy, Oakland, Calif.
UCLA Magazine: "The Clutter Culture."
UCLA Newsroom: "Trouble in paradise: UCLA book enumerates challenges faced by middle-class L.A. families," "Gallery: Seven Common Challenges Facing Middle-Class Families at Home."

“Clutter isn’t just in your home, attic, garage or office. Clutter is also in your mind, and distracts you from the amazing things you are meant to do” (Katrina Mayer)

“Declutter the mess in your home and heart. Don’t let your past crowd out your future.” (Dr. Thelma Bryant-Davis)

Much Love, Dr.Shermaine #InformativeRead #PleaseShare #HealthyBodySoulAndSpirit #IWantYou2LiveWell

The Goal is to Always Make You Aware of What Concerns Your Body, Soul and Spirit, So You Can Have Open, Honest and Frequent Discussions With Your Physicians and Counselors. You Can’t Treat or Cure What You Don’t Know is Sick.

"It's Not Selfish to Love Yourself, Take Care of Yourself and to Make Your Happiness a Priority. It's a Necessity." (Mandy Hale)

"Self-Care is Not Selfish. You Cannot Serve From an Empty Vessel." (Eleanor Brown)

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