“Bad Habits That Can Hurt Your Kids' Health”

 

PARENTS AS ROLE MODELS: Kids learn how to feel about their bodies, abilities -- everything -- from what you say and do. The most powerful way to teach them healthy habits is not with rewards or punishment. Instead, act in a positive way and model healthy behaviors. When you set a good example, you’ll help them learn good ways to feel happy and make healthy choices. Have changes to make yourself? That's OK. You can do it together.

BAD HABIT # 1: CRITICIZING YOURSELF - Negative comments about the way you look send the message that self-esteem should be based on how your jeans fit or how much you weigh. It can train kids to find flaws in what they see in the mirror, which can set them up for self-esteem issues and poor body image. Cut out the critical remarks. Instead, talk about how good you feel when you exercise, eat healthy foods, or get enough sleep. Those are the lessons you want kids to remember.

BAD HABIT # 2: EMOTIONAL EATING - If you use food to feel better when you're sad or disappointed, you could be passing on unhealthy messages to your kids. You're showing them that food is the way to feel good about yourself. Instead, work on other ways to boost your mood when you're feeling down. Let them see you talking to friends or going for a walk to feel better.

BAD HABIT # 3: TOO MUCH TEXTING, EMAILING, TALKING - It's not fair to tell the kids not to text at the dinner table if you're there on your phone. What you do sends a stronger message than what you say. Set family rules about screens, and everyone, including parents, needs to stick to them. Use the time away from devices to have a great dinner conversation or go for a family bike ride.

BAD HABIT # 4: EMPHASIZING THE SUPERFICIAL AND MATERIAL - Many little girls like to play dress-up. But experts say be careful about making mani/pedi parties more important than other quality time. Use "girl time" to have fun with healthy habits -- go for walks or teach her a sport. She'll learn that being a girl means being strong and powerful. Plus, she'll see that exercise is a great stress reliever. Also be sure to tell her she's smart or kind as often as you compliment her beauty.

BAD HABIT # 5: DRINKING TO PERK UP OR FEEL BETTER - If you come home after a bad day at work and say, "I need a drink," you show your child that alcohol is a good way to relax and feel better about yourself. The same goes for relying on tons of coffee or soda for energy. Instead, find healthier ways to relieve stress or get energized. Try exercise, meditation, or a relaxing hobby and get the whole family involved. Those are good ways for everyone to relax or recharge.

BAD HABIT # 6: MAKING EVERYTHING A COMPETITION - Pointing out to your child that other kids (neighbors, classmates, siblings) are more athletic is rarely a good motivator. Instead, praise him for doing his best. Help him focus on the fun of being outside or on how he’s getting better. You can also help him find an activity he's passionate about and help him practice. Talk about how you need to move every day and how it makes you feel good. 

BAD HABIT # 7: ALWAYS ARGUING - If you and your spouse constantly snipe at each other, your kids are learning that it's OK to act that way. Stress is often a trigger for arguments. If you need help handling everyday strain, look into some stress management techniques. Arguing may make you feel better at first but worse later. Plus, stress from fights has a negative effect on kids.

BAD HABIT # 8: GOSSIPING - Criticizing the way someone looks or acts can be a sign of poor self-esteem. About to blab? Stop. Ask yourself if there's good reason. Chances are you do it out of habit, so opt not to. The same goes for indulging in a lot of Hollywood gossip TV shows and magazines for a pick-me-up. Instead, turn off the TV, put down the mags, and show your kids how to unwind and re-energize in healthy ways. Get everyone outside for a bike ride or game of hopscotch.

CATCHING YOURSELF: If you find yourself behaving in a negative way around your kids, don't ignore it and hope they didn't notice. Point out your mistake. Use it as a teachable moment. Get the kids involved by asking them to help you stop. They'll probably be more than happy to point it out if you do it again, and you'll all be more aware. Family members are more likely to find success if they support each other in their healthy choices.

REVIEWED BY: Amita Shroff, MD, WebMD on November 09, 2018

REFERENCES:

David Kaplan, PhD, family counselor; chief professional officer, American Counseling Association; past president, International Association of Marriage and Family Counselors; author of "Family Counseling for All Counselor," Alexandria, VA.

Karen Zager, PhD, psychologist, New York.

American Psychological Association: "Fatherhood and healthy behaviors for families."

Jackson Rainer, PhD, psychologist, professor, and director of clinical training at Georgia Southern University, Statesboro, GA.

Anderson, S. Pediatrics, March 2010.

Vanderbilt University Department of Psychology: "What Is The Relationship Between Low Self-Esteem and Eating Disorders?"

Silverstone, P.H. Medical Hypotheses, Vol. 39, 1992.

Steinhausen, H.C. International Journal of Eating Disorder, Vol. 13, 1993.

Office on Women's Health, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services: "Eating Disorders," "Stress and your health fact sheet."

HelpGuide: "Bulimia Nervosa."

National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, National Institutes of Health: "Make a Difference: Talk to Your Child About Alcohol."

American Academy of Family Physicians: "Stress: How to Cope Better With Life's Challenges."

American Academy of Pediatrics: "A Preteen’s Personalized Guide to Managing Stress."

University of Maryland Medical Center: "Stress -- Risk Factors."

Brigham Young University Magazine: "Lies, Gossip, and Cold Shoulders."

Melhorn, S. American Journal of Physiology, published online July 7, 2010.

Hinkle, K. Child & Family Behavior Therapy, Vol. 33, Issue 4, 2011.

Much Love, Dr.Shermaine, #InformativeRead #PleaseShare #HealthyBodySoulAndSpirit #IWantYou2LiveWell #FeelFree2SignUpAndFollow

The Goal is to Always Make You Aware of What Concerns Your Body, Soul and Spirit, So You Can Have Open, Honest and Frequent Discussions With Your Physicians and Counselors. You Can’t Treat or Cure What You Don’t Know is Sick.
 
"It's Not Selfish to Love Yourself, Take Care of Yourself and to Make Your Happiness a Priority. It's a Necessity." (Mandy Hale)

"Self-Care is Not Selfish. You Cannot Serve From an Empty Vessel." (Eleanor Brown)

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“African Americans Face Unique Mental Health Risks”

When Demetrius Minor left the Army after 12 years in 2013, he went through a standard medical review. Physically fit and seemingly healthy, he breezed through. Nobody caught that he was depressed.

Minor says he “passed through [the mental health system] because I looked healthy. They are looking for broken bones and ask you the easy questions, like, ‘Do you feel like hurting yourself or others?’ No. So the help was technically there, but there was no real deep dive.”

Minor, now 41, who is African American, is just one example of a much larger problem. According to the U.S. Health and Human Services Office of Minority Health, African Americans are less likely to have their mental health problems addressed.

“I’d come home, go outside, do my thing, sit on my couch for days and weeks on end. And then you just disappear. People would say, ‘Hey I haven’t heard from you, what’s going on?’ and the response would be, ‘I’m good, I’m out here grinding,’ ‘I’m hustling.’ We say those words that people in our community use to make it sound like we’re doing something. You say all the clichés, but inside, you’re hurting and you don’t know why or how.”

Minor isn’t sure African American communities and society at large are ready to deal with the challenges of mental health.

“I don’t think we are ‘woke’ enough yet to understand that mental health doesn’t mean we’re crazy. You can have a functioning life outside that door of your house. Just how there are functioning alcoholics, I was a functioning depressant.”

The issues and challenges are ingrained in families, neighborhoods, and society, he says.

“Growing up, we never used the words ‘mental health.’ If we had a problem, we just had to accept it and roll on. Looking back at my childhood, I see a lot of issues where people were suffering from [poor] mental health, but there’s no diagnosis, there’s no help and no treatment, so families were broken up.”

Sobering Statistics:

While African Americans are just as likely to report serious psychological distress, they are less likely to get behavioral treatment. But adult African Americans are more likely to report feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and worthlessness than are adult whites. Still, in 2018, 18.6% of white Americans received mental health services, compared to less than 9% of African Americans.

When it comes to a specific diagnosis and treatment for depression, the gap narrows but still exists. More than 68% of white Americans received treatment after a major depressive episode in 2018, compared to 61% of black Americans.

Having a mental illness significantly increases suicide risk among black teens and adults. One of the most common mental health issues that leads to suicide is anxiety. African Americans who have a connection to organizations, like church, have a lower suicide risk, according to the Suicide Prevention Resource Center.

African Americans, who are more likely to be impoverished, incarcerated, homeless, and fighting substance abuse, are all at higher risk for poor mental health. While poverty, homelessness, drug abuse, etc., are often signs of mental illness across all ethnicities, racism is an added part of poor mental health in African Americans. While negative stereotypes and attitudes of rejection might be less openly displayed today, examples of racism are many, and it has consequences, although research on the connection between racism and mental health is limited.

The recent tension between police and some African Americans has not helped how the community is perceived in society. African Americans are more likely to be victims of serious violent crimes, making them more likely to qualify as having posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). 

The Stigma:

 

A 2008 study showed a stigma within the African American community against receiving treatment for mental illness. Some people felt that sitting down and talking to a “stranger,” a therapist, was the same as airing their “dirty laundry.” Talking about your mental health problems was just not done. African Americans skirt away from conversations dealing with therapy as a solution to struggles with depression, posttraumatic stress disorder, parenting issues, and marriage problems.

Another reason African Americans may resist seeking treatment is a fear that it might reflect poorly on their families and could be an admission that something within the family or home is broken.

In 2018, music mogul Jay-Z sat down with CNN’s Van Jones to discuss mental health representation in African American communities. Jones, at the beginning, said, “As scared as black folks are of cops, we’re even more scared of therapy.” Jay-Z responded, “It should be in our schools. Children have the most going on, their minds are not fully developed, and teenagers and drinking and these things are happening to you, and you don’t know how social anxiety […] and you don’t how to navigate it.”

There is a need for trained counselors in schools for children of color, he said. Introducing them to the idea and benefits of therapy from a young age might combat the stigma in the African American community.

Sitting Down With the Experts:

Gail Mattox, MD, a professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Morehouse School of Medicine in Atlanta, has been working for more than 30 years as a psychiatrist.

She has gotten grant funding to take a deeper look into behavioral health in a university setting, particularly at historical black universities like Morehouse.

Kisha Holden, PhD, is a psychologist who worked with Mattox to address health disparities and health issues that may be problems in various communities.

“We both believe that the mental health of the African American community is important,” Holden says. “We try to look at our students from a holistic and comprehensive perspective.”

Because primary care doctors may not recognize or know how to diagnose mental health issues, Holden says it’s important to get beyond the initial clinical setting.

They look to find out what is happening to the whole self, “and not exclusively at what their presenting problem may be at a medical facility.”

“We want to look deeper into the issues that contribute to or prompt some of the health problems they see. We’re pulling the Band-Aid back and looking at what may be some of the underlying problems,” she says.

Getting out of the clinical setting is key, Holden says. It’s difficult enough to get people to voluntarily come in for an appointment.

“Try and meet the patient or potential patient where they are,” she says. “Go into the community and have trust. Have stakeholders important in that community, and respecting them is certainly a part of how we build the trust and subsequently connect them to care.”

“We would go out to the community church and school and be part of the community to be aware of the signs and symptoms of psychological illness and the importance of overall health.”

Grady Hospital in downtown Atlanta is one of the Southeast’s largest behavioral health centers. Morehouse works with Grady to embed psychiatrists in the neighborhoods that Grady serves. Morehouse is also working with local school systems and colleges to beef up counseling and access to mental health care.

“We’re approaching it both from community education and cultural competency,” Mattox says.

Part of what Morehouse is trying to teach communities and health care providers is to consider a patient’s mental health as part of their overall health.

“There is a relationship with chronic diseases, like diabetes and cardiovascular disorders and depression,” Holden says. “Disentangling those risk factors allows us to treat the overall patient.

“There’s really no health without mental health.”

Article by: Shari Celestine

WebMD Health News Reviewed by: Arefa Cassoobhoy, MD, MPH

Sources:

Article: African Americans Face Unique Mental Health Risks

census.gov: “U.S. Census Bureau QuickFacts: United States.”

mentalhealthamerica.net: “Black & African-American Communities and Mental Health.”

familiesusa.org: “Barriers Faced by African-Americans in Receiving Mental Health Care.”

minorityhealth.hhs.gov: “Mental Health and African-Americans.”

sprc.org: “Addressing Suicide among Black Americans.”

mentalhealthamerica.net: “Depression And African-Americans.”

news.rutgers.edu: “African-Americans More Likely to Be Misdiagnosed with Schizophrenia, Rutgers Study Finds.”

inquirer.com: “African-Americans more likely to be misdiagnosed with schizophrenia, Rutgers study finds.”

cnn.com: “Jay-Z: Therapists should be in schools.”

nami.org: “Schizophrenia.”

nimh.nih.gov: “Depression.”

therapyforblackgirls.com: “Therapy for Black Girls.”

psychologytoday.com: “Access Counseling and Coaching.”

Gail Mattox, MD, professor and chairperson, department of psychiatry and behavioral sciences, Morehouse School of Medicine.

Kisha Holden, PhD, interim director, Satcher Health Leadership Institute, and professor in the departments of psychiatry and behavioral sciences and community health and preventive medicine, Morehouse School of Medicine.

REFERENCES:

Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies: "What is Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT)?"
Parinda Khatri, PhD, psychologist; director of integrated care, Cherokee Health Systems.
National Institute of Mental Health: "Psychotherapies."
NAMI: "Treatment and Services."
Substance Abouse and Mental Health Services Administration: "Acceptance and Commitment Therapy."
National Institute of Mental Health: "How is Depression Diagnosed and Treated?"

Much Love, Dr.Shermaine, #InformativeRead #PleaseShare #HealthyBodySoulAndSpirit #IWantYou2LiveWell

The Goal is to Always Make You Aware of What Concerns Your Body, Soul and Spirit, So You Can Have Open, Honest and Frequent Discussions With Your Physicians and Counselors. You Can’t Treat or Cure What You Don’t Know is Sick.

"It's Not Selfish to Love Yourself, Take Care of Yourself and to Make Your Happiness a Priority. It's a Necessity." (Mandy Hale)

"Self-Care is Not Selfish. You Cannot Serve From an Empty Vessel." (Eleanor Brown)

The contents of the WebMD and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine Sites, such as text, graphics, images, and other material contained on the WebMD and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine Sites ("Content") are for informational purposes only. The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on the WebMD and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine Sites!

If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately. WebMD and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine does not recommend or endorse any specific tests, physicians, products, procedures, opinions, or other information that may be mentioned on the Sites. Reliance on any information provided by WebMD, WebMD employees, others appearing on the Site at the invitation of WebMD, and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine or other visitors to the Sites is solely at your own risk.