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Showing posts with label Expectation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Expectation. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 9, 2019

“His Purpose Will Out-Last Your Pain!”



Romans 8:22, “For we know that the whole creation has been moaning together as in the PAINS of childbirth until now.”; 

Romans 8:28, “And we know [with great confidence] that God [who is deeply concerned about us] causes all things to work together [as a plan] for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to His plan and PURPOSE.” (AMP)

It’s always wonderful when you’re going through something painful to have someone able to identify with your pain, because they’ve sat where you’re now sitting. But then there are also those times when people (genuinely meaning no harm, but making a statement that is not so true) will say words something like this when we're going through a hard time, "Oh, I understand how you feel." And if you’re anything like me, you may have muttered under your breath, "No you don't."

And one situation in which those words should probably never be spoken, are a man to a woman...in labor!

Now, my friend Bernard has been through labor with his wife three times, and still he cannot say he understands how she felt. Labor is easier for some women than others I understand, but having a baby is not easy for anybody. You see, Bernard still remembers vividly their first time around the maternity track. His wife's increasingly frequent contractions and the trip to the hospital, and then the hours of intensifying pain, and then the last most intense pains of all. And suddenly, a baby boy! Now, it’s easy for him to say the following, but only because he knows his wife would agree…it was a painful process with a glorious result! And you know what, the result has lasted a lot longer than the pain did!

Which brings us to Romans chapter 8. Here we're going to meet a man with the credentials to talk about pain and hard times. Just take a brief look at his credentials for the well-earned degree in persevering through pain to make it to purpose!

1 Corinthians 11:23-29, “I’ve worked much harder, been jailed more often, beaten up more times than I can count, and at death’s door time after time. I’ve been flogged five times with the Jews’ thirty-nine lashes, beaten by Roman rods three times, pummeled with rocks once. I’ve been shipwrecked three times, and immersed in the open sea for a night and a day. In hard traveling year in and year out, I’ve had to ford rivers, fend off robbers, struggle with friends, struggle with foes. I’ve been at risk in the city, at risk in the country, endangered by desert sun and sea storm, and betrayed by those I thought were my brothers. I’ve known drudgery and hard labor, many a long and lonely night without sleep, many a missed meal, blasted by the cold, naked to the weather. And that’s not the half of it, when you throw in the daily pressures and anxieties of all the churches…” (MSG) 

You see, when you have someone who can attest to pain like this, you can be encouraged by almost anything they have to say! Because they’ve been through the worst of it, and can still say they’ve survived the pain, and have reaped the benefits of purpose!

Which is why it’s worth listening in to Paul in Romans 8 where he talks about "our present sufferings." And he even speaks symbolically of this world "groaning as if in the pains of childbirth." And then later on in the chapter he mentions trouble, hardship, famine, sword, and then he says this, "In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us." But, how can that be with all the worst pain in life going on right now? However, giving the fact that Paul has survived some of the worst pain imaginable, let’s listen to him a little further.

The reality is, it all goes back to a God-given perspective on the pain of your life. And the beginning of that perspective can be found in Romans 8:28 he says, "And we know that all things are working together for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to God's purpose."

So, what's the good in the pain? Well, it continues, "For those God foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of His Son." (verse 29) In other words, the good that comes out of the pain is to make you what this world needs so desperately; someone who is more like Jesus. After all, pain is the best teacher in learning to be more like Christ. Pain often teaches us how to trust God even when everyone walks away and leaves us deserted; pain teaches us that even the ones we trusted most or did the most for, can still turn their backs on us; pain teaches us that fulfilling the will of God for our lives is not an easy task; pain teaches us that we can love God, and still be hit with adversity on every side. Jesus endured pain, and so we must do the same if we’re to reflect His image and likeness.

Now, even though pain is a great teacher, let’s be honest, God doesn't send all the pain; some of it He allows because of the choices and consequences of our own doing. But the encouragement to be found even in that is this: Pain can't come to you unless your Heavenly Father okay’s it. And how does God decide what He will allow to come into your life? Anything that fulfills His purpose in shaping you to look like, speak like, behave and live like His Son, is worth the pain to produce!

Let’s look at Romans 8:22-28, in the Message Bible translation, “All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it’s not only around us; it’s within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We’re also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don’t see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy. Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.” (MSG)

And what’s my happy part in that? “…That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don’t see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy…”

Pain (especially labor pain) does not ever feel good! But in the end, the joy of physically holding our expectation makes it all worth-while. And sometimes honestly, I think many of us can even tolerate the pain, but for some of us, it’s the pain plus the waiting that makes it worse!

Personal Testimony: I had my oldest daughter when I turned 17 years old. A teenage mom who had no idea what her little body was about to experience. And yet, it wasn’t just the pain that made it difficult, it was the waiting. You see, I went into labor on Tuesday morning at 3:21am. I was sweating, crying, in pain, bent over, pacing, rocking, laying down, getting up…it was a nightmare! Finally, my dad took me and my mom to the hospital. Now, this is where you’re supposed to get all excited because what you’ve been expectantly waiting for should be about to arrive! But that was not my case! My daughter from birth until now at 30 years of age, has not changed one bit. She still does things in her own timing (whether you like it or not)! You will wait until she’s good and ready! So I’ve changed clothes, been examined, and I’m ready to drop this load, only to be told by the doctor I wasn’t dilating! And after spending the whole day and night at the hospital, you guess it, they sent me home! Well, the very next morning, just hours later, my water broke! The pains were harder, and so I cried even harder! Back to the hospital we go! And AGAIN, she’s not ready! Wednesday, they sent me back up, AGAIN! Finally, on Thursday Morning at 4:07 am, my bundle of joy decides it’s a good day to make an appearance! I was ready 48 hours ago! However, she was not! The labor was excruciating! But in reality, the pain may have been 48 hours, but my joyful purpose that my pain produced has been hanging around for 30 years and counting! My purpose outlasted my pain, and it was all worth it! It took 48 hours of pain, but I’ve been enjoying what the pain produced for 30 years!   

Which is why I better understand Paul when he said, “For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed…” (vs. 18)

My consistent experience has been that the hardest things I've gone through have been God's most powerful tools in my life: faith, humility, compassion, mercy, learning the power of prayer, closeness to Jesus. They have been the blessed results of pain that made me know and trust God as never before. And like the pain of my daughter's arrival, I’ve enjoyed the result a lot longer than I had to endure the pain.

Because God's agenda in our lives is eternity, not just seventy years. The payoff will always be much greater than the pain. You may be in a hurting time right now and you don't have a choice. But it really matters what you focus on. If you focus on the pain you're going to become bitter and self-focused, and burned out, and worn out, and negative. But if you focus on how God can use this pain to make you more like Jesus, you'll have the baby that the pain is supposed to give you. The tragedy will be if you get the pain but you miss the point. I've enjoyed my daughter for many years now (3 decades in fact). Which is not a bad payoff for a relatively few hours of a painful process.

If you're hurting today, remember that your loving Father, who sent His Son to die in your place, is using your hurt to bring about a beautiful result, which you will be enjoying long after the painful process is a distant memory.

Believe me, I know, the pain plus the wait sometimes can feel like more than you can bear! But neither God nor His Word is a lie: 1 Corinthians 10:13, “No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it.” (MSG)

You will come through it! You are carrying it because you can! So don’t become weary and worn out, keep your hope fresh and your faith on fire; keep trusting God and following His directive for your life. And even when the directions guide you through pain, know that He’s taking you through it, not leaving you in it. And when you come out of it, you will have a precious gift to remind you that it was all worth the wait and pain! When the pain hits, keep pushing, purpose will be produced, and it will outlast the process time! 

 Much Love, Dr.Shermaine #InformativeRead #PleaseShare #HealthyBodySoulAndSpirit #IWantYou2LiveWell

Thursday, October 4, 2018

“17 Surprising Reasons You’re Stressed Out!”




Watch out for these hidden anxiety triggers and mood busters!

YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER: Even if you have a blissfully happy relationship with your spouse, you're both bound to do things that get on each other's nerves. "Early in the relationship, it's usually about space and habits—like whether you squeeze the toothpaste from the middle or the bottom of the tube," says Ken Yeager, PhD, associate professor of psychiatry at the Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center. "Later on, you might clash over parenting style or financial issues, and finding a unified front to face these issues together." So what's the key to surviving and thriving in your life together? Finding balance, says Yeager: spending the right amount of time together (not too much and not too little), making compromises, keeping communication open and honest, and remembering to acknowledge what you love about each other on a daily basis.

EVERYDAY ANNOYANCES: We're told not to sweat the small stuff, but sometimes it's the little things that have the biggest impact on our mood: the never-ending phone calls with your insurance company, the rude cashier at the grocery store, the 20 minutes you lose looking for a parking space. "We let these things bother us because they trigger unconscious fears," says Yeager—fears of being seen as irresponsible, of being bullied or embarrassed, or of being late all the time, for example. "Sometimes you need to take a step back and realize that you're doing the best you can given the circumstances." 

OTHER PEOPLE’S STRESS: Stress is contagious, according to a 2014 German study: In a series of experiments, most participants who simply observed others completing a stressful task experienced an increase themselves in production of the stress hormone cortisol—a phenomenon known as empathic stress. You can also experience stress when someone you know is affected by a traumatic event, like a car crash or a chronic illness. "You start to worry, 'Oh my gosh, could that happen to me?'," says Yeager. "We tend not to think about these things until they hit close to home."

SOCIAL MEDIA: It may seem like Facebook is the only way you keep up with the friends you don't see regularly—which, during particularly busy times, can be just about all of them. The social network also has a downside, according to a 2015 study from the Pew Research Center: It can make you aware of stressful situations in your friends' lives, which in turn can add more stress to your life. The Pew report didn't find that social media users, overall, had higher levels of stress, but previous studies have suggested that frequent social-media use can be associated with negative body image and prolonged breakup pain.

DISTRACTION: A distraction can be a good thing when it takes your mind off of a stressful situation or difficult decision, like when you take a break from work to meet a friend for lunch. But it works the other way, as well: When you're so busy thinking about something else that you can't enjoy what's going on around you, that kind of distraction can be a recipe for stress. Practicing mindfulness gives your brain the refresh it needs, says Richard Lenox, director of the Student Counseling Center at Texas Tech University. Paying full attention to your surroundings when you're walking and driving can help, he adds. "Stress and anxiety tend to melt away when our mind is focused on the present." 

YOUR CHILDHOOD: Traumatic events that happened when you were a kid can continue to affect your stress levels and overall health into adulthood. A 2014 University of Wisconsin-Madison study found that these childhood experiences may actually change parts of the brain responsible for processing stress and emotion. The way you were raised can also have a lasting impact on your everyday angst, suggests a 2014 Johns Hopkins University study. Researchers found that children of parents with social anxiety disorders are more likely to develop "trickle-down anxiety"—not simply because of their genes, but because of their parents’ behaviors toward them such as a lack of warmth and emotion, or high levels of criticism and doubt.

TEA AND CHOCOLATE: You probably know to take it easy on the coffee when you're already feeling on edge. "Caffeine is always going to make stress worse," says Yeager. But you may not think as much about drinking several cups of tea at once, or chowing down on a bar of dark chocolate—both of which can contain nearly as much caffeine as a cup of joe. "Chocolate is a huge caffeine source," says Yeager. "I know people who don't drink coffee but they'll eat six little candy bars in a two-hour period because they want the same kind of jolt." Too much caffeine, in any form, can cause problems with sleep, digestion, and irritability. 

YOUR EXPECTATIONS: When things don't go the way you've planned, do you tend to get upset and act defensively, or do you roll with the punches and set off on a new plan? If it's the former, you could be contributing to a mindset of pessimism and victimization that will slowly wear you down, even when things may not be as bad as they seem. "Your level of serenity is inversely proportionate to your expectations," says Yeager. That doesn't mean you shouldn't set ambitious goals for yourself or settle for less than what you want, of course, but being realistic about what's truly possible is important, as well.

YOUR REACTION TO STRESS: If you tend to deal with stressful situations by working long hours, skipping your workouts, and bingeing on junk food, we've got some bad news: You're only making it worse. "We know that physical activity and healthy foods will help your body better deal with stress, and yet we often avoid them when we need them the most," says Yeager. "People really need to think about this downward spiral we get into and work harder to counteract it."

MULTITASKING: Think you're being super-efficient by tackling four tasks at once? Chances are you're not —and it's only decreasing your productivity while increasing your stress. A 2012 University of Irvine study, for example, found that people who responded to emails all day long while also trying to get their work done experienced more heart-rate variability (an indicator of mental stress) than those who waited to respond to all of their emails at one time. Focusing on one task at a time can ensure that you're doing that job to the best of your abilities and getting the most out of it, so you won't have to worry about or go back and fix it later, says Schieman. And don't worry: You'll have enough time to do it all. In fact, you may discover you have more time than you thought.

YOUR FAVORITE SPORT: Watching a tight game of college hoops can stress you out—even if your alma mater wins. "The body doesn't distinguish between 'bad' stress from life or work and 'good' stress caused by game-day excitement," says Jody Gilchrist, a nurse practitioner at the University of Alabama at Birmingham’s Heart and Vascular Clinic. Watching sports can even trigger the body's sympathetic nervous system, releasing adrenaline and reducing blood flow to the heart. Those temporary consequences aren't usually anything to be concerned about, but over time, chronic stress can lead to high blood pressure and increased disease risk. And, of course, it doesn't help if you're adding alcohol and binge-eating to a situation that's already stressful on your body. You may not be able to control the outcome of the game, says Gilchrist, but you can limit its effects on your own body. 

DIGITAL DEVICES: Whether you're using it for work or play, technology may play a large role in your mental health, says Yeager. Using computers or e-readers too close to bedtime could lead to sleep problems, he says, and spending too much time virtually socializing can make real-life interactions seem extra stressful. (Plus, texting doesn't trigger the same feel-good hormones as face-to-face talk does.) Then there's the dreaded "work creep," says Schieman, when smartphones allow employees to be tethered to their jobs, even during off-hours. "People say they're only going to check email for an hour while they're on vacation, but the problem with email is that they're filled with responsibilities, new tasks, and dilemmas that are going to be hard to compartmentalize and put out of your head once that hour is up."

YOUR (GOOD) HEALTH: While it may not be as stressful as having a chronic illness or getting bad news at the doctor's office, even people in the best shape of their lives worry about their bodies, their diets, and their fitness levels. In fact, people who take healthy living to an extreme may experience some rather unhealthy side effects. People who follow low-carb diets, for example, are more likely to report being sad or stressed out, while those on any kind of restrictive meal plan may feel more tired than usual. And it's not unheard of for someone to become obsessed with healthy eating (known as orthorexia) or working out (gymorexia). Like any form of perfectionism, these problems can be stressful at best, and extremely dangerous at worst.

HOUSEWORK: Does folding laundry help you feel calm, or does it make your blood boil? If you're in a living situation where you feel you're responsible for an unfair share of work, even chores you once enjoyed may start to feel like torture. "Dividing up housework and parenting responsibilities can be tricky, especially if both partners work outside the home," says Schieman. "And whether you define that division of labor as equal or unequal can really change your attitude toward it." 

UNCERTAINTY: Stress can be defined as any perceived or actual threat, says Yeager, so any type of doubt that's looming over you can contribute to your anxiety levels on a daily basis. "When you know something could change at any minute, you always have your guard up and it's hard to just relax and enjoy anything." Financial uncertainty may be the most obvious stressor—not being sure if you'll keep your job during a round of layoffs, or not knowing how you'll pay your credit card bill. Insecurities in other areas of life, like your relationship or your housing status, can eat away at you too.

YOUR PET: No matter how much you love your furry friends, there's no question that they add extra responsibility to your already full plate. Even healthy animals need to be fed, exercised, cleaned up after, and given plenty of attention on a regular basis—and unhealthy ones can be a whole other story. "Pets can be the most positive source of unconditional love, but at the same time they require an extreme amount of energy," says Yeager. People also tend to underestimate the stress they'll experience when they lose a pet. "I've had people in my office tell me they cried more when their dog died than when their parent died. It's a very emotional connection."

YOUR EDUCATION: Having a college degree boosts your odds of landing a well-paying job, so although you're less likely to suffer from money-related anxiety, your education can bring on other types of stress, according to a 2014 study by Schieman and his University of Toronto colleagues. His research found that highly educated people were more likely to be stressed out thanks to job pressures, being overworked, and conflicts between work and family. "Higher levels of authority come with a lot more interpersonal baggage, such as supervising people or deciding whether they get promotions," says Schieman. "With that type of responsibility, you start to take things like incompetency and people not doing their jobs more personally, and it bothers you more."

By Amanda MacMillian, Health Magazine

Much Love, Dr.Shermaine #InformativeRead #PleaseShare #HealthyBodySoulAndSpirit #IWantYou2Live

The Goal is to Always Make You Aware of What Concerns Your Body, Soul and Spirit, So You Can Have Open, Honest and Frequent Discussions With Your Physicians and Counselors. You Can’t Treat or Cure What You Don’t Know is Sick.

"It's Not Selfish to Love Yourself, Take Care of Yourself and to Make Your Happiness a Priority. It's a Necessity." (Mandy Hale)

"Self-Care is Not Selfish. You Cannot Serve From an Empty Vessel." (Eleanor Brown)



“Getting stress out of your life takes more than prayer alone. You must take action to make changes and stop doing whatever is causing the stress. You can learn to calm down in the way you handle things.” (Joyce Meyer)

“I will breathe. I will think of solutions. I will not let my worry control me. I will not let my stress level break me. I will simply breathe and it will be okay because I don’t quit.” (Shayne McClendon)

“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” (William James)

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” Hans Selye)

“It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.” (Lou Holtz)

“Brain cells create ideas. Stress kills brain cells. Stress is not a good idea.” (Frederick Saunders)

“Stress, anxiety and depression are caused when we are living to please others.” (Paulo Coelho)

“You’re only human. You don’t have to have it together every minute of every day.” (Anne Hathaway)

“Stress is caused by trying to have power over things that are beyond your control.” (Zero Dean)

“You’re not going to master the rest of your life in one day. Just relax. Master the day. Then just keep doing that every day.”

“And then one day I decided that hurry and stress were no longer going to be part of my life. Stress is self-created; I decided to stop manufacturing it. We can choose an internal calm and joy even amid the chaos.” (Brendon Burchard)

“Remember, most of your stress comes from the way you respond, not the way life is. Adjust your attitude, and all that extra stress is gone.”

“Anxiety happens when you think you have to figure out everything all at once. Breathe. You’re strong. You got this. Take it day by day.” (Karen Salmansohn)

“Stress comes from trying to do it all on your own. Peace comes from putting it all in God’s hands.” (Dave Willis)

“Don’t forget that you’re human. It’s okay to have a melt down. Just don’t unpack and live there. Cry it out and then refocus on where you are headed.”

“Stress is like fire: When controlled and used for a purpose, it serves us well. Left unbridled, it can consume us.” (Brendan Brazier)

“Don’t believe every worried thought you have. Worried thoughts are notoriously inaccurate.” (Renee Jain)

“Stress can destroy much more than just physical health. Too often, it eats away at our hope, belief, and faith.” (Charles F. Glassman)

“Do your best and let the rest go. You can’t be perfect, no matter how hard you try, so give yourself credit for making an effort, and try to stop stressing about the outcome.” (Lori Deschene)

“Just because we’re in a stressful situation doesn’t mean that we have to get stressed out. You may be in the storm. The key is, don’t let the storm get in you.” (Joel Osteen)

“I wonder how much of what weighs me down is not mine to carry?”

“Sometimes we need to let go of things in our lives to make room for better things. Stress less and live more. Don’t waste your energy, when you have the choice to be happy.” (Brian Tracy)

“Ten years from now you’ll laugh at whatever’s stressing you out today. So why not laugh now?” (Tony Robbins)

“Here’s a two step formula for handling stress. Step number one: Don’t sweat the small stuff. Step number two: Remember it’s all small stuff.” (Tony Robbins)

“When pressure builds up, don’t panic. Pray! Prayer is a tremendous stress reliever. It can be your safety valve.” (Rick Warren)



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