"Top Concentration Killers"

 

CULPRIT: SOCIAL MEDIA - Whether you're living with ADHD or just have trouble focusing from time to time, today's world is full of concentration killers. Psychologist Lucy Jo Palladino, PhD offers a few tips to manage distractions, starting with social media. It's easy to connect with friends -- and disconnect from work -- many times an hour. Every status update zaps your train of thought, forcing you to backtrack when you resume work.

SOCIAL MEDIA FIX: Avoid logging in to social media sites while you're working. If you feel compelled to check in every now and then, do it during breaks, when the steady stream of posts won't interrupt your concentration. If you can't resist logging in more frequently, take your laptop someplace where you won't have Internet access for a few hours.

CULPRIT: EMAIL OVERLOAD - There's something about an email -- it shoots into your inbox and itches to be answered immediately. Although many emails are work-related, they still count as distractions from your current project. You won't make much progress if you constantly stop what you're doing to reply to every message.

EMAIL OVERLOAD FIX: Instead of checking email continuously, set aside specific times for that purpose. During the rest of the day, you can actually shut down your email program. This allows you to carve out blocks of time when you can work uninterrupted.

CULPRIT: YOUR CELL PHONE - Perhaps even more disruptive than the ping of an email is the ringtone on your cell phone. It's a sound few of us can ignore. But taking a call not only costs you the time you spend talking -- it can also cut off your momentum on the task at hand.

CELL PHONE FIX: Put caller ID to good use. If you suspect the call is not urgent, let it go to voicemail. If you're working on a particularly intense project, consider silencing your phone so you're not tempted to answer. Choose specific times to check voicemail. Listening to all your messages at once can be less disruptive than taking every call as it comes in.

CULPRIT: MULTITASKING - If you've mastered the art of multitasking, you probably feel you're getting more done in less time. Think again, experts say. Research suggests you lose time whenever you shift your attention from one task to another. The end result is that doing three projects simultaneously usually takes longer than doing them one after the other.

MULTITASKING FIX: Whenever possible, devote your attention to one project at a time, particularly if you're working on an intense or high-priority task. Save your multitasking skills for chores that are not urgent or demanding -- it probably won't hurt to tidy up your desk while talking on the phone.

CULPRIT: BOREDOM - Some of the tasks we have to do each day are more interesting than others. The boring ones may burn through your attention span in minutes, making you extremely vulnerable to distractions. Your phone, the Internet, even the prospect of dusting your workspace can seem tempting if you're bored.

BOREDOM FIX: Make a deal with yourself: If you stay on task for a certain period of time, you earn a 10-minute break. Reward yourself with coffee, a favorite snack, or a walk outside. Boring tasks are easier to accomplish when you have something to look forward to. This is also one case where multitasking may work well. Listening to the radio while filing receipts could help you stay put long enough to finish the job.

CULPRIT: NAGGING THOUGHTS - It's hard to focus on the work in front of you if you're worrying about errands you need to run or housework to be done. Or perhaps you're hung up on a conversation you had yesterday, and you keep replaying it in your mind. Nagging thoughts of any sort can be a powerful distraction.

NAGGING THOUGHTS FIX: One way to keep nagging thoughts from buzzing around in your brain is to write them down. Make a list of errands, housework, or other tasks you plan to complete later. Vent frustrations over an unpleasant confrontation in your journal. Once these thoughts are on paper, you may be able to let them go for a while.

CULPRIT: STRESS - When you feel like you have too much on your plate, it can be hard to focus on individual tasks. To make matters worse, stress takes a noticeable toll on the body. You may develop tight shoulders, headaches, or a racing heart, all of which can chip away at your ability to concentrate.

STRESS FIX: Learn stress reduction techniques, such as meditation. This can help you rein in stressful thoughts, so they don't demand so much of your attention. In one study, researchers found that people who took an eight-week meditation course improved their ability to focus. If you can't find a meditation class locally, look for one online.

CULPRIT: FATIGUE - Fatigue can make it tough to concentrate, even when you have few distractions. Studies suggest too little sleep can sap your attention span and short-term memory. 

FATIGUE FIX: Most adults need 7-9 hours of sleep per night. Instead of burning the midnight oil, make sleep a priority. This will help you get more done during your waking hours. Also, pay attention to which times of day you feel most alert. Then you'll know when to schedule your most intense tasks.

CULPRIT: HUNGER - The brain can't focus without fuel, so skipping meals, especially breakfast, is a top concentration killer. Research indicates short-term memory and attention suffer when you rise and shine but do not dine.

HUNGER FIX: Keep hunger at bay and give your brain a steady source of fuel with these habits:

• Always eat breakfast.
• Eat high-protein snacks (cheese, nuts)
• Skip simple carbs (sweets, white pasta)
• Choose complex carbs (whole grains)

CULPRIT: DEPRESSION - Most people tend to think of sadness as the hallmark of depression. But the National Institute of Mental Health says difficulty concentrating is one of the most common symptoms. If you're having trouble focusing, and you also feel empty, hopeless, or indifferent, you may be experiencing depression.

DEPRESSION FIX: If you think you might be depressed, the first step is to talk with a doctor or counselor. Depression is highly treatable. Many studies have shown the effectiveness of antidepressant medications and certain types of talk therapy. 

CULPRIT: MEDICATION - Unfortunately, some of the medications used to treat depression can interfere with concentration. The same is true of many other drugs. Talk to your doctor or pharmacist to check if a medication or supplement you are taking may be affecting your concentration.

MEDICATION FIX: If you suspect your meds are clouding your concentration, don't assume there are no other options. Talk to your doctor about adjusting your dosage or switching to a different class of medication. Do not stop taking your medicine unless your doctor tells you to.

CULPRIT: ADHD - Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is not just a problem for children. More than half of kids with ADHD continue to experience symptoms as adults. The classic signs are a short attention span and trouble focusing on tasks.

ADHD FIX: If you have consistent trouble focusing, and you had attention problems as a child, ask a doctor or counselor about ADHD. There are ways to manage the condition, including behavioral therapy and medications.

MEDICALLY REVIEWED BY:  Sabrina Felson, MD, WebMD on June 12, 2020

REFERENCES: 

American Academy of Family Physicians.
American Psychiatric Association. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders: DSM-IV-TR, American Psychiatric Pub, 2000.
American Psychological Association.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Daniel Kegan, PhD, JD, organizational psychologist, attorney, and president of Elan Associates.
Feingold Association of the United States.
Gordon Logan, PhD, professor of psychology, Vanderbilt University.
Jha, A. Cognitive, Affective, and Behavioral Neuroscience, June 2007.
McCann, D. Lancet, Nov. 3, 2007.
Michael J. Baime, MD, clinical associate professor of medicine, University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine; director, Penn Program for Mindfulness, University of Pennsylvania Health System.
National Institute of Mental Health.
National Women's Health Information Center.
Palladino, L. Find Your Focus Zone: An Effective New Plan to Defeat Distraction and Overload, Free Press, 2007.
Rubinstein, J. Journal of Experimental Psychology: Human Perception and Performance, August 2001.
Schonwald, A. AAP Grand Rounds, February 2008.

Much Love, Dr.Shermaine, #InformativeRead #PleaseShare #HealthyBodySoulAndSpirit #IWantYou2LiveWell #FeelFree2SignUpAndFollow

The Goal is to Always Make You Aware of What Concerns Your Body, Soul and Spirit, So You Can Have Open, Honest and Frequent Discussions With Your Physicians and Counselors. You Can’t Treat or Cure What You Don’t Know is Sick.
 
"It's Not Selfish to Love Yourself, Take Care of Yourself and to Make Your Happiness a Priority. It's a Necessity." (Mandy Hale)

"Self-Care is Not Selfish. You Cannot Serve From an Empty Vessel." (Eleanor Brown)

The contents of the WebMD and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine Sites, such as text, graphics, images, and other material contained on the WebMD and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine Sites ("Content") are for informational purposes only. The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on the WebMD and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine Sites!

If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately. WebMD and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine does not recommend or endorse any specific tests, physicians, products, procedures, opinions, or other information that may be mentioned on the Sites. Reliance on any information provided by WebMD, WebMD employees, others appearing on the Site at the invitation of WebMD, and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine or other visitors to the Sites is solely at your own risk. 

“21 Reasons You’re Stressed and What to Do About Them?”

 

WHAT IS STRESS EXACTLY? As long as you're a living, breathing human being, you're going to experience stress at some point in your life—it's your body's reaction to a challenge or demand, according to Medline Plus. It's a completely normal feeling, and it may even be good for you at times (think: helping you to avoid dangerous situations). But when it lasts for a long time, it can put you at risk for some pretty serious health issues, like high blood pressure, depression or anxiety, and even chronic skin issues. Though you might know a few of your specific stress triggers—like work deadlines or fights with your spouse—it could be sneaking into your life in other unexpected ways. Here are 21 different things in your life that could be causing you unnecessary stress. 

 

YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER: Even if you have a blissfully happy relationship with your live-in partner or spouse, you're both bound to do things that get on each other's nerves. "Early in the relationship, it's usually about space and habits—like whether you squeeze the toothpaste from the middle or the bottom of the tube," Ken Yeager, PhD, associate professor of psychiatry at the Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center, tells Health. "Later on, you might clash over parenting style or financial issues, and finding a unified front to face these issues together." So, what's the key to surviving and thriving in your life together? Finding balance, says Yeager: spending the right amount of time together (not too much and not too little), making compromises, keeping communication open and honest, and remembering to acknowledge what you love about each other on a daily basis.

EVERDAY ANNOYANCES: We're told not to sweat the small stuff, but sometimes it's the little things that have the biggest impact on our mood: the never-ending phone calls with your insurance company, the rude cashier at the grocery store, the 20 minutes you lose looking for a parking space. "We let these things bother us because they trigger unconscious fears," says Yeager—fears of being seen as irresponsible, of being bullied or embarrassed, or of being late all the time, for example. "Sometimes you need to take a step back and realize that you're doing the best you can, given the circumstances."

OTHER PEOPLE’S STRESS: Stress is contagious, according to a 2014 German study: In a series of experiments, most participants who simply observed others completing a stressful task experienced an increase themselves in production of the stress hormone cortisol—a phenomenon known as empathic stress. You can also experience stress when someone you know is affected by a traumatic event, like a car crash or a chronic illness. "You start to worry, 'Oh my gosh, could that happen to me?'," says Yeager. "We tend not to think about these things until they hit close to home."

SOCIAL MEDIA: It may seem like Facebook or Instagram are the only ways you keep up with the friends you don't see regularly—which, during particularly busy times, can be just about all of them. But social networks, like Facebook specifically, can also have a downside, according to a 2015 study from the Pew Research Center: It can make you aware of stressful situations in your friends' lives, which in turn can add more stress to your life. The Pew report didn't find that social media users, overall, had higher levels of stress, but previous studies have suggested that frequent social-media use can be associated with negative body image and prolonged breakup pain.

DISTRACTIONS: A distraction can be a good thing then when it takes your mind off of a stressful situation or difficult decision, like when you take a break from work to meet a friend for lunch. But it works the other way, as well: When you're so busy thinking about something else that you can't enjoy what's going on around you, that kind of distraction can be a recipe for stress. Practicing mindfulness gives your brain the refresh it needs, says Richard Lenox, director of the Student Counseling Center at Texas Tech University. Paying full attention to your surroundings when you're walking and driving can help, he adds. "Stress and anxiety tend to melt away when our mind is focused on the present."

YOUR CHILDHOOD: Traumatic events that happened when you were a kid can continue to affect your stress levels and overall health into adulthood. A 2014 University of Wisconsin-Madison study found that these childhood experiences may actually change parts of the brain responsible for processing stress and emotion. The way you were raised can also have a lasting impact on your everyday angst, suggests a 2014 Johns Hopkins University study. Researchers found that children of parents with social anxiety disorders are more likely to develop "trickle-down anxiety"—not simply because of their genes, but because of their parents’ behaviors toward them such as a lack of warmth and emotion, or high levels of criticism and doubt.

TEA AND CHOCOLATE: You probably know to take it easy on the coffee when you're already feeling on edge. "Caffeine is always going to make stress worse," says Yeager. But you may not think as much about drinking several cups of tea at once, or chowing down on a bar of dark chocolate—both of which can contain nearly as much caffeine as a cup of joe. "Chocolate is a huge caffeine source," says Yeager. "I know people who don't drink coffee, but they'll eat six little candy bars in a two-hour period because they want the same kind of jolt." Too much caffeine, in any form, can cause problems with sleep, digestion, and irritability.

YOUR EXPECTATIONS: When things don't go the way you've planned, do you tend to get upset and act defensively, or do you roll with the punches and set off on a new plan? If it's the former, you could be contributing to a mindset of pessimism and victimization that will slowly wear you down, even when things may not be as bad as they seem. "Your level of serenity is inversely proportionate to your expectations," says Yeager. That doesn't mean you shouldn't set ambitious goals for yourself or settle for less than what you want, of course, but being realistic about what's truly possible is important, as well.

YOUR REACTION TO STRESS: If you tend to deal with stressful situations by working long hours, skipping your workouts, and binging on junk food, we've got some bad news: You're only making it worse. "We know that physical activity and healthy foods will help your body better deal with stress, and yet we often avoid them when we need them the most," says Yeager. "People really need to think about this downward spiral we get into and work harder to counteract it."

MULTITASKING: Think you're being super efficient by tackling four tasks at once? Chances are you're not —and it's only decreasing your productivity while increasing your stress. A 2012 University of Irvine study, for example, found that people who responded to emails all day long while also trying to get their work done experienced more heart-rate variability (an indicator of mental stress) than those who waited to respond to all of their emails at one time. Focusing on one task at a time can ensure that you're doing that job to the best of your abilities and getting the most out of it, so you won't have to worry about or go back and fix it later, says Schieman. And don't worry: You'll have enough time to do it all. In fact, you may discover you have more time than you thought.

YOUR FAVORITE SPORT: Watching a tight game of college hoops can stress you out—even if your alma mater wins. "The body doesn't distinguish between 'bad' stress from life or work and 'good' stress caused by game-day excitement," says Jody Gilchrist, a nurse practitioner at the University of Alabama at Birmingham’s Heart and Vascular Clinic. Watching sports can even trigger the body's sympathetic nervous system, releasing adrenaline and reducing blood flow to the heart. Those temporary consequences aren't usually anything to be concerned about, but over time, chronic stress can lead to high blood pressure and increased disease risk. And, of course, it doesn't help if you're adding alcohol and binge-eating to a situation that's already stressful on your body. You may not be able to control the outcome of the game, says Gilchrist, but you can limit its effects on your own body.

DIGITAL DEVICES: Whether you're using it for work or play, technology may play a large role in your mental health, says Yeager. Using computers or e-readers too close to bedtime could lead to sleep problems, he says, and spending too much time virtually socializing can make real-life interactions seem extra stressful. (Plus, texting doesn't trigger the same feel-good hormones as face-to-face talk does.) Then there's the dreaded "work creep," says Schieman, when smartphones allow employees to be tethered to their jobs, even during off-hours. "People say they're only going to check email for an hour while they're on vacation, but the problem with email is that they're filled with responsibilities, new tasks, and dilemmas that are going to be hard to compartmentalize and put out of your head once that hour is up."

YOUR GOOD HEALTH: While it may not be as stressful as having a chronic illness or getting bad news at the doctor's office, even people in the best shape of their lives worry about their bodies, their diets, and their fitness levels. In fact, people who take healthy living to an extreme may experience some rather unhealthy side effects. People who follow low-carb diets, for example, are more likely to report being sad or stressed out, while those on any kind of restrictive meal plan may feel more tired than usual. And it's not unheard of for someone to become obsessed with healthy eating (known as orthorexia) or working out (gymorexia). Like any form of perfectionism, these problems can be stressful at best, and extremely dangerous at worst.

HOUSEWORK: Does folding laundry help you feel calm, or does it make your blood boil? If you're in a living situation where you feel you're responsible for an unfair share of work, even chores you once enjoyed may start to feel like torture. "Dividing up housework and parenting responsibilities can be tricky, especially if both partners work outside the home," says Schieman. "And whether you define that division of labor as equal or unequal can really change your attitude toward it."

UNCERTAINTY: Stress can be defined as any perceived or actual threat, says Yeager, so any type of doubt that's looming over you can contribute to your anxiety levels on a daily basis. "When you know something could change at any minute, you always have your guard up and it's hard to just relax and enjoy anything." Financial uncertainty may be the most obvious stressor—not being sure if you'll keep your job during a round of layoffs, or not knowing how you'll pay your credit card bill. Insecurities in other areas of life, like your relationship or your housing status, can eat away at you too.

YOUR PETS: No matter how much you love your furry friends, there's no question that they add extra responsibility to your already full plate. Even healthy animals need to be fed, exercised, cleaned up after, and given plenty of attention on a regular basis—and unhealthy ones can be a whole other story. "Pets can be the most positive source of unconditional love, but at the same time they require an extreme amount of energy," says Yeager. People also tend to underestimate the stress they'll experience when they lose a pet. "I've had people in my office tell me they cried more when their dog died than when their parent died. It's a very emotional connection."

YOUR EDUCATION: Having a college degree boosts your odds of landing a well-paying job, so although you're less likely to suffer from money-related anxiety, your education can bring on other types of stress, according to a 2014 study by Schieman and his University of Toronto colleagues. His research found that highly educated people were more likely to be stressed out thanks to job pressures, being overworked, and conflicts between work and family. "Higher levels of authority come with a lot more interpersonal baggage, such as supervising people or deciding whether they get promotions," says Schieman. "With that type of responsibility, you start to take things like incompetency and people not doing their jobs more personally, and it bothers you more."

NOISE: If you live on a noisy street or a busy city, you’re dealing with sound on the regular. Research has found that chronic low levels of noise can lead to things like trouble sleeping, which can then trigger stress. Noise can also directly stress you out if you’re conscious of it (because, hello, who likes to go about their day to the soundtrack of jackhammers?).  “What tends to be the most stressing is noise that’s less predictable and high-pitched,” psychologist Frank Ghinassi, PhD, president and CEO of Rutgers University Behavioral Health Care, tells Health. So basically, any noise you’d hear in an urban setting. “It can be frustrating to concentrate and that can lead to more energy to work against that frustration,” he says. Noise specifically triggers a stress response in your amygdala, the part of your brain that regulates emotion, psychologist John Mayer, PhD, host of the Anxiety’s a B!tch podcast, tells Health. “Your amygdala learns over time what sounds might signal impending danger,” he explains. “When one is detected, the amygdala triggers a release of cortisol.” Cue the stress.

PANDEMIC LIFE: It’s easy to put your head down and assume you’re doing just fine while living through a global pandemic. But Mayer says it’s pretty tough not to be stressed out by at least some element of the COVID-19 crisis, whether it’s annoyance at missing out on things that you used to do, worries about job security, or an actual fear of contracting COVID-19. “The very first defense mechanism that a human develops is denial,” Mayer says. “When stressors appear to be far removed from our lives, we employ this basic response of denial first.” You may be able to continue living in denial if you or someone close to you doesn’t directly suffer from a consequence of the pandemic, he says, but the stress is still there. The problem with this is that the stress can build over time, making you feel even more frazzled as you go, Ghinassi says.

COMPLAINING: On the one hand, you’re getting out all those thoughts you have bottled up inside; On the other, you’re rehashing things that are already bothering you, raising the odds it’ll just upset you all over again. At its core, venting involves “discharging negative thoughts and feelings,” Mayer says. But by doing that, you’re consciously being reminded of the negativity. That “rekindles the fears and worries from the original events,” Mayer says. Ghinassi suggests reframing the way you vent and trying to cast things in a less terrible way. One example: Calling something “annoying,” which implies that you can live with it, vs. “awful,” which sounds borderline catastrophic.

ALCOHOL: Sure, sometimes having a glass of wine after a long day can help you mentally chill out. But sometimes it can work against you. Alcohol actually causes higher levels of the stress hormone cortisol to be released in your body—and that can make you feel more stressed out after you come down from your buzz. There’s also this to consider, per Mayer: If you drink a little too much, you can struggle with things like memory loss and poor judgement, and that’s not going to do your stress levels any favors, either.

BY: Amanda MacMillan and Korin Miller, Health Magazine, Updated May 12, 2021

Much Love, Dr.Shermaine, #InformativeRead #PleaseShare #HealthyBodySoulAndSpirit #IWantYou2LiveWell #FeelFree2SignUpAndFollow

The Goal is to Always Make You Aware of What Concerns Your Body, Soul and Spirit, So You Can Have Open, Honest and Frequent Discussions With Your Physicians and Counselors. You Can’t Treat or Cure What You Don’t Know is Sick.
 
"It's Not Selfish to Love Yourself, Take Care of Yourself and to Make Your Happiness a Priority. It's a Necessity." (Mandy Hale)

"Self-Care is Not Selfish. You Cannot Serve From an Empty Vessel." (Eleanor Brown)

 

The contents of the Health Magazine and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine Sites, such as text, graphics, images, and other material contained on the Health Magazine and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine Sites ("Content") are for informational purposes only. The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on the Health Magazine and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine Sites!

If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately. Health Magazine and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine does not recommend or endorse any specific tests, physicians, products, procedures, opinions, or other information that may be mentioned on the Sites. Reliance on any information provided by Health Magazine, Health Magazine employees, others appearing on the Site at the invitation of Health Magazine, and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine or other visitors to the Sites is solely at your own risk.  

 

“Avoid the Valentine’s Day Crash!”

2 Samuel 11:2-4, “One night he couldn’t get to sleep and went for a stroll on the roof of the palace. AS HE LOOKED out over the city, HE NOTICED a woman of unusual beauty taking her evening bath.  He sent to find out who she was and was told that she was Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah.  Then David sent for her and when she came he slept with her. (She had just completed the purification rites after menstruation.) Then she returned home.” (TLB)

Talk about a lot of stuff going on in just a few verses! 

Well, before we get to that, listen to this…

I haven’t done a radio broadcast in a long time. However, there’s one broadcast that I will never forget! You see, I was invited to speak on a radio broadcast with a ministry colleague. At the time we were both spear-heading the women’s ministries at our separate churches, and this broadcast was focused on our views and vision for women’s ministry. We were in the studio getting ready to tape a live broadcast. But what made this program so exciting is that we also had a live studio audience filled with a lot of women in ministry. 

However, this particular session was to include a specific church whose women’s ministry was coming to be a part of the audience. This particular women’s ministry we both knew quite well, since we’ve both fellow-shipped numerous times with them.

We were so excited! It was the first radio broadcast for either of us and to have a live audience at the same time was crazy!

We were excited…they were excited…the audience was excited… 

HOWEVER, we waited, and we waited, and they never showed up! 

Consequently we never got to do the program that we planned so diligently for months to do! No one had even called us to inform us of anything! Now, either they were pretty irresponsible, or maybe something major had happened! 

Then, we found out, that in fact, something major had happened. The man driving them to the studio had looked down for just a brief second and they plowed into the rear of a construction truck!  

Thankfully no one was seriously injured, and they even came back another time to do a program.  

Now, to this day, I’m still grateful that no one was injured, but I could never figure out what was so important that the driver took his eyes off the road, knowing he had a van load of women to get to an event safely?!  

Well, I found that out a little later. Believe it or not, he had just entered into a new relationship, and it was her who had called him. His phone rang, he looked down and her face was on the phone. In his own words, “I got distracted when I saw her…”  

However, that minor distraction caused him major damage!  

Women were not seriously hurt, but they were injured. They were supposed to be somewhere, and due to his distraction, they didn’t make it (which was a domino effect of disappointment for them, for us, for the audience, for the studio and staff etc…) Not to mention he lost his job, destroyed the church van, and the woman whose face was such a beautiful distraction, caused him an ugly break-up in the end!

Who knew just a brief look could distort and destroy vision and destiny?!

If you think about it, it really didn’t take much to cause that crash – actually, it just took one moment to look away! Indeed, that’s been the cause of many accidents, physical, emotional, and spiritual.

Which shifts our focus to 2 Samuel 11:1. I find this one of the saddest chapters in all of the Bible, it reads: “Then it happened in the spring, AT THE TIME WHEN THE KINGS GO OUT TO BATTLE, that David sent Joab and his servants with him, and all [the fighting men of] Israel, and they destroyed the Ammonites and besieged Rabbath. BUT DAVID REMAINED IN JERUSALEM” (AMP) David’s job was to be out there fighting God’s battles right alongside the other fighting men. But instead he decided he would take a day off in more ways than one.

Not Being On His Assignment, Allowed an Attraction to Distract Him!

Beginning at verse 2 it reads: “One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof HE SAW A WOMAN bathing. The woman was very beautiful, and David sent someone to find out about her. The man said, ‘She is Bathsheba, THE WIFE OF URIAH,’” who, by the way, was ONE OF HIS TRUSTED MEN. “She came to him and he slept with her.” 

The danger? “…HE SAW A WOMAN…”

The Next danger? “…THE WOMAN WAS VERY BEAUTIFUL…”

The Next danger? HE FOUND OUT WHO SHE WAS, KNEW SHE WAS OFF LIMITS, AND YET HE SLEPT WITH HER ANYHOW!

However, the initial danger that started it all was… “…HE SAW A WOMAN…”

Let’s read this again: “One night he couldn’t get to sleep and went for a stroll on the roof of the palace…” Well David, if you were where you were supposed to be in the first place you wouldn’t be in this predicament! The Bible says, “Then it happened in the spring, AT THE TIME WHEN THE KINGS GO OUT TO BATTLE…BUT DAVID REMAINED IN JERUSALEM” David, you couldn’t sleep because you weren’t supposed to be sleeping, you were supposed to be fighting! Temptation always rears its ugly head when you’re not doing what you’re supposed to be doing; and when you’re not in the place you should be! Don’t Let the Rooftop Ruin You! When you’re supposed to be on the Battleground, be there! Because oftentimes when you go out of position, you go out of line!

So, while David is inactive and out of place, “…HE LOOKED out over the city, HE NOTICED a woman of unusual beauty taking her evening bath…” I reiterate David, if you were on the battlefield, WHERE YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN, you would never have taken notice of the unusual beauty taking a bath! David was supposed to be NOTICING the ENEMY, not the ENTICEMENT to WILLFULLY SIN! Don’t Let Sin Catch You in the City When You Should Be Out in the Field!  

“…He sent to find out who she was and was told that she was Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the WIFE OF URIAH…” The worse part about it all is that DAVID FOUND OUT WHO SHE WAS, AND WHOSE SHE WAS, AND STILL HE HAD TO HAVE HER! Not that it makes it any better if it were a stranger, but David, Uriah was one of your TRUSTED MEN. How do you allow your character to have such a tremendous flaw that the one you trusted, couldn’t trust you?! The one out fighting your battle has no idea that you’re watching his wife bathe! Instead of Doing What KINGS Do, David Was Doing What JOKERS DO! How do you stab in the back the very one who covers you from all sides? David had full control of what and who he saw, and what he deliberately decided to do with it. No excuse, no justification, no reasoning, no ‘oops my bad’ etc…   

“…Then David sent for her and when she came he slept with her. (She had just completed the purification rites after menstruation.) Then she returned home.” (TLB) Yep, there’s a whole lot going on here. She’s coming off her menstrual, she takes a customary purification bath, the king sends for her, she goes, she has sex with him, and she goes back home. Well, ain’t that just an interesting night? Grant it, when the king sent for you, especially as a woman in that time, you went to him no questions, arguments, refusals or negotiations. They didn’t have the protection we have today as women. The saying goes, ‘when a woman says ‘no’, it’s no.’ But unfortunately, that did not apply in Bathsheba’s day. Nor did they have the ability to make a lot of their own decisions. Many of the women then were seen as property and possessions not as a person. And I get all of that. But my focus isn’t on Bathsheba right now anyhow. It’s on David. All of his actions were his own, they were focused, calculated, manipulative, deliberate and entitled.

In a nutshell: There was a moral crash that night that David could never have foreseen and all the damages that would follow simply by not being where he should have been, and doing what he should have been doing. Take that as a warning for yourself too…selah…

Chapter 12, the prophet says to David, “You despised the Word of the Lord.” In other words he got tempted and he stopped caring what God would think. The word “despise” is defined as “to feel contempt or repugnance for.” It’s Latin Origin “despicere” literally means “to look down.” The word ‘repugnance’ is defined as, ‘intense disgust.’ Its Origin means, ‘opposition’ from Latin, ‘repugnare’ meaning ‘to oppose.’ And lastly, the word, ‘opposition’ is defined as, ‘disapprove of, resist, or be hostile to; to compete with or fight; contrasting or conflicting; opposite.’ Its Old French Origin, ‘opposer’, from Latin ‘opponere’ literally means ‘to set one’s heart and mind against.’ When David made his deliberate and willful decision to sin, he did so despising the Word of the Lord. Which means he looked down on God’s Word; he held it in intense disgust; he was in opposition to God’s Word; and he set his heart and mind against God’s Word!  

How is it possible that the man after God’s own heart, took his eyes off Him? Instead of looking up, he began to look down, and as soon as he did, he saw temptation. Have you ever been there? God-focused, and then in one glance, distort His vision for your life? I know I have, repetitively! In the wrong place, with the wrong person, doing the wrong thing, and in my FULL RIGHT MIND! Yep, I said it! And I say it because so many are walking in shoes I’ve already walked in, grown out of and thrown away! And when I share my stumbles, trips and falls in my Christian walk, it helps my brothers and sisters in Christ to walk better. Because I can tell them the roads, back alley’s, cliffs, dead-ends, stops, go’s and yields that I ignored that almost warped my entire walk with God forever! My biggest mistakes (and bad, willful, deliberate choices) came most often when I wasn’t where I should’ve been and neglectful of what I should have been doing! Like David, I was inactive and in danger! 

And the danger of that? Then the prophet says, “The sword will NEVER depart from your house.” “Never” in its simplest definition means “not ever; not at all.” Oh, David’s sin is forgiven, but the consequences will haunt him, and all those attached to him, for the rest of his life and legacy! Never under-estimate the lifetime damage one night can bring! Just ask the clinics who are treating varying STD’s; just visit many of the abortion clinics; talk with those trying to figure out what to do with this baby that wasn’t supposed to be conceived. It was just one night? Absolutely! But can you imagine all that can happen, in an instant, in just one night, with just one decision?! 

Eve wasn’t just conceived and carried to full-term for 9 months and then throughout the years grew up into the woman for Adam. Nope, Adam had need of her, and God reached in him and pulled her out full-grown just for him, in an instant! If He can do that, you do know that you can conceive a baby or contract a disease just as quickly! The question to ask is, is it really worth it? Selah…

Then the prophet says, “The Lord has taken away your sin, but by doing this you have made the enemies of the Lord show utter contempt“(2 Samuel 12:14). So, not only did David mess up his own life, and all those attached to him, but matters get even worse for him because now God’s reputation has been smeared because of what one of His children did in one night of being inactive, and out of place! How many times have we seen that happen? One brief shift of focus, one night inactive, one night out of place, one look, and you make a damaging, deliberate decision that destroys you and everything and everyone attached! 

Despite what many may think, adultery doesn’t involve the married couple and whomever the outside offender may be. It actually involves all their families, their lives, their health, and even their relationship with God, we’ve just seen that with King David. Relishing in one night of pleasure is never worth the loss of Relationship with your significant other, your families, loved ones, and especially your God.

What caused this very costly moral crash? The same thing that caused the crash of that van in the opening story – ONE LOOK AWAY!  

I believe someone is reading this right now, and God wants to say to you, “You’re about to crash because you’ve looked away.” However, He doesn’t want you to crash! He doesn’t want you to pay for the damages for the rest of your life and legacy. So He’s sending you this loving warning today. Are you listening? Are you taking heed? You’ve looked away from His book. You’ve put your Bible on a shelf and seldom are you showing up for your time with the Lord anymore. You’ve looked away from His calling on your life and you’re on a spiritual vacation. You’ve looked away from Jesus and you’ve let something or someone else take over your heart. You’re headed for a terrible crash!

David took a spiritual day off and he paid for that day with the rest of his life (and dare we say with Uriah and David and Bathsheba’s son’s life as well)! It could be you’ve been taking some spiritual days off and Satan is using your complacency, he’s using your carelessness to make you drift off the road that God once had you on. Listen, it’s time to look up, it’s time to wake up, and it’s time to quit flirting with that temptation. God said flee from it, not flirt with it! It’s time to drop that person or the people who are pulling you away from your Savior. No more compromise, no more drifting, because it will cost you too much! Look up again at Jesus who suffered and died for the very sin you’ve been playing with. Come back to His love. Come back to His Lordship. It’s so much better (and safer) there. 

If you look away much longer the crash is going to be inevitable and it’s going to be costly!

And might I add that since today is Valentine’s Day, you should indeed drive your spirit and your flesh with caution, especially if you’re single! Why? Because, this is one of those times of the year when my calendar for counseling goes through the roof, because of what so many did in one night because they were lonely and needed love or attention (or some distorted temporary version of it). Do not make the mistake of letting your eyes shift to him or her, no matter what they may look like, no matter what they may offer you, no matter what they may say to you. Don’t Crash! 

Buy your own card, buy your own candy, tell yourself I love you, and do not watch Lifetime or Hallmark channels! Do not go reminiscing over the so-called wonderful man or woman they were when yall were together. Because truth is, if it were indeed that great together, why are you apart now?! Don’t get sucked into the Valentine’s Day THEME! Half the people that you envy that are smiling about Valentine’s Day is because of cards, candy, flowers and gifts, they’re excited about because they haven’t received any of that in the last 364 days! Don’t lose your mind and your life over one day or one night! If love is significant and real you received cards, candy, flowers and gifts on last month Tuesday, for no other reason than that it was last month Tuesday! He/She didn’t need to wait for February 14th to tell you, show you and prove to you that they love you!
Don’t let the commercialization of this holiday cause you to crash!
  If you’re single, stay single! My mother used to say “a real woman knows her value and worth, she never acts like loose change.” Comical to many, but oh so true! 

Instead of being like David inactive, out of place and blinded by distorted vision, be as active as possible wherever God has planted you. Give your all to where you are supposed to be and on what you’re supposed to be doing. And don’t just hang out with “any” single folks, but hang out with those who are focused, not distracted, not lonely, not needy, not desperate, not depressed, not dysfunctional, not settling. Create your inner-circle with those who are determined to wait for God’s absolute best! No compromise, just conviction! 

Ladies, keep your dress down and your standards up! Gentlemen, keep your shirt buttoned and your zipper zipped! Set the bar so high for them to reach that they will need to take up the High Jump in the Olympics just to figure out how to get that high up to reach your level! The best apples are always out of reach at the top of the tree (you have to work long and hard to possess them), but those that are bruised, damaged, used, easy, and cheap lay on the ground, in the dirt, accessible to anyone!

Lastly, remember the opening story. All those women in that van had an agenda, had a goal, had an aim. They knew where they were going and what they were going to do once they got there. They were together and on one accord. The only danger was the person they had in control was easily distracted by what he saw! They could’ve ended up paying the price of his distraction with their very lives. Which means, be careful of who you let lead you! Make sure they see what you see. Make sure you are indeed valuable cargo to them, so they treat you with the protective care you deserve. You never want to be on the road to your assignment and have it aborted simply because one person took one look and loss control of it all! You have too much at stake to risk losing sight…even for just one night!

Enjoy Happy Valentine’s Day! 

Know That I Love You, But God Loves You More, and Loves You Best! 

Which is Why You Can’t Afford to Crash Your Character or Calling!

Much Love, Dr.Shermaine, #EnjoyTheRead #PleaseShare #HealthyBodySoulAndSpirit

#BeInspired #BeEncouraged #BeEmpowered #BeChallenged #IWantYou2LiveWell #FeelFree2SignUpAndFollow