"What to Know About Forming Better Habits?"

 

You’ve probably been in awe of people with strong habits, the people who wake up early, exercise regularly, eat well, and are successful at the end of the day. The main thing they’ll credit for their success is their habits and routines.

What Are Habits?

Habits aren’t active choices you make. They’re automatic responses. Deciding to go to the gym today isn’t a habit, but going without giving it a second thought is.‌

Habits aren’t easily labeled as “good” or “bad.” Many bad habits make you feel good. It’s more accurate to say that bad habits keep you from who you want to be, and good habits will help you get there. Habit formation is based on the discoveries of Ivan Pavlov, a Russian physiologist. While researching how dogs salivate when fed, he accidentally discovered the concept of conditioning.‌

The famous experiment of Pavlov’s dogs in the 1890s revealed that you can train your brain to respond a certain way to specific stimuli. Because a bell was rung at dinnertime, dogs started drooling at the sound of the bell in preparation for their dinner.

For example, you may want to link the smell of lavender with bedtime. You can use a lavender room spray (stimulus), get into bed, and go to sleep (outcome). When you do this often enough, you train yourself to get sleepy when you smell lavender.

The more you can automate your decision-making, the more time you can give to what matters. Habits help you become the person you want to be. Putting together your habits makes a routine. Routines and habits determine your behavior. Your behavior determines your identity.

How Long Does It Take to Form a Habit?

It takes as long as it needs to take. The easier and more desirable the habit is, the quicker it will form. More difficult habits take longer. On average, it takes about 66 days for a habit to form. It’s less about the amount of time it takes and more about the repetition. A habit you practice every day will form much faster than a weekly habit.

Start with Small Habits

As with any new pursuit, you need to start small. Changing your behavior feels like a huge task. That’s why vague resolutions like “losing weight” are doomed to fail. The best place to start with a new habit is the smallest place. Think of the smallest possible thing you can do toward your habit and master it. Make it impossible not to do.‌

If your goal is to work out and lose weight, don’t start by following a workout plan. Instead, think about steps like:

• Put on your workout clothes
• Pack a gym bag
• Go to the gym (but don’t work out)
• Walk for 2 minutes‌

Set your expectations small to match the first step. If you only go to the gym, but that was your only intention, you did it! Do it a few more times for good measure, and then take the next step.

Other Tips for Forming Habits

Use your environment. If you want to eat more fruit, put fruit in plain sight on the counter. If you want to exercise more, keep your workout gear within reach. If you want to read more, always carry a book with you. To break a bad habit, do the opposite: Make it harder to do. Don’t keep soda or snacks around the house if you’re trying to lose weight.‌

Stack habits. Try pinning a new habit to one you already do by using the formula, “When I do X, I will then do Y.” When you eat a meal, go for a walk afterward. When you take a restroom break, drink a glass of water.‌

Make it enjoable. If you dread working out, try listening to your favorite podcast while you do it. If you hate vegetables, find tasty recipes that make you want to eat them. It’s hard to form a habit if you hate doing it. For a bad habit, make it so you don’t want to do it. If you’re trying to stop smoking, think of the good things that will happen when you quit. Make the act of smoking undesirable by comparison.

Celebrate your wins. There’s no better way to enjoy forming a habit than to celebrate them. Set up a reward system for when you do your habit every day, or a long-term reward if you do the habit for a week.

Be understanding. It’s OK to miss a day. There will be roadblocks during the process. Let it pass and try again tomorrow. You can take these moments and reevaluate your system. What caused you to miss a day? Is there a way to keep that from happening again? What can you do differently? No matter what, keep going.

MEDICALLY REVIEWED BY: Dan Brennan, MD, WebMD on November 27, 2021

SOURCES:

British Journal of General Practice: "Making health habitual: the psychology of ‘habit-formation’ and general practice." 

Clear, J. Atomic Habits, Penguin Random House, 2018.

Harvard Business Review: “What Does It Really Take to Build a New Habit?”

Iowa University Human Resources: “Habit Science.”

NPR: “'Tiny Habits' Are The Key To Behavioral Change.”

SimplePsychology: “Classical Conditioning,” “Pavlov's Dogs.”

Much Love, Dr.Shermaine, #InformativeRead #PleaseShare #HealthyBodySoulAndSpirit #IWantYou2LiveWell #FeelFree2SignUpAndFollow

The Goal is to Always Make You Aware of What Concerns Your Body, Soul and Spirit, So You Can Have Open, Honest and Frequent Discussions With Your Physicians and Counselors. You Can’t Treat or Cure What You Don’t Know is Sick.
 
"It's Not Selfish to Love Yourself, Take Care of Yourself and to Make Your Happiness a Priority. It's a Necessity." (Mandy Hale)

"Self-Care is Not Selfish. You Cannot Serve From an Empty Vessel." (Eleanor Brown)

The contents of the WebMD and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine Sites, such as text, graphics, images, and other material contained on the WebMD and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine Sites ("Content") are for informational purposes only. The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on the WebMD and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine Sites!

If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately. WebMD and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine does not recommend or endorse any specific tests, physicians, products, procedures, opinions, or other information that may be mentioned on the Sites. Reliance on any information provided by WebMD, WebMD employees, others appearing on the Site at the invitation of WebMD, and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine or other visitors to the Sites is solely at your own risk.  

“The Worst Exercise for Your Immunity and the Best Ways to Improve it Naturally”

 

Working out is a great habit for your immune system, but it can become an issue if you're pushing yourself too hard for too long. If you've been looking into how to help boost your immune system and strengthen your body's defenses against infection and disease, you've probably read by now that exercising is a good idea. Plenty of research indicates that exercise does the immune system a world of good. This study, published in the Journal of Sport and Health Science, concludes that moderate-to-intense exercise lasting under 60 minutes can kick the immune system into overdrive and "stimulate the ongoing exchange of distinct and highly active immune cell subtypes between the circulation and tissues." Additionally, another research project published in the same scientific journal reports that while growing old, putting on excess weight, and leading a sedentary lifestyle all serve to weaken the body's defenses, consistent moderate-to-intense exercise improves both "immunosurveillance against pathogens" and reduces overall mortality risk in the event of a respiratory illness. With the above findings in mind, the relationship between exercise and immune function appears to be clear cut: work out diligently and your immune system will thank you! While that is true for the most part, there's an important caveat to keep in mind. One distinct type of exercise appears to have the opposite effect, resulting in a weakened immune system and greater susceptibility to infection. Keep reading to learn about the worst exercise for your immunity. 

 

HIGH INTENSITY CAN BE HIGH RISK: Just like pretty much everything else in life, it's very important not to overdo it while exercising. It may be tempting to push yourself to keep going that much harder and longer, but moderation is an important aspect of fitness. Overtraining can actually backfire from an immunity perspective, leading to a weakened immune system and higher risk of coming down with an illness. "Overtraining that leads to chronic fatigue, performance decline and mood disturbances can decrease immune function, resulting in increased odds for respiratory infections," David Nieman, DrPH, FACSM, professor of health at Appalachian State University and director of the Human Performance Lab at the North Carolina Research Campus, told Runner's World. Importantly, Dr. Nieman is one of the main authors on both of the studies mentioned earlier, so he's certainly qualified to comment on the complex relationship between exercise and immune function. Another study co-authored by Dr. Nieman published in The Journal of Sports Medicine and Physical Fitness found that runners may be more likely to develop an infection after participating in a marathon. Why? Well, a marathon is about as exact a definition of intense, super-long exercise as possible. Moreover, the first study mentioned above also concludes that "high exercise training workloads, competition events, and the associated physiological, metabolic, and psychological stress are linked with transient immune perturbations, inflammation, oxidative stress, muscle damage, and increased illness risk." In summation, workouts should be kept to under 90 minutes with only short bursts of high-intensity exercise sprinkled in here and there. Affording your body enough time to rest up in between gym sessions is another important factor. "I recommend keeping exercise training at normal levels until this pandemic gets under control," Dr. Neiman told Runner's World.

 

ADDING SLEEP TO THE EQUATION: Besides exercise, getting enough sleep on a regular basis is another pillar of strong immune function. In short, if you’re not sleeping enough, your immune system is going to decline. So, it's important to consider the effect of exercise timing on sleep. Recent research published in Sleep Medicine Reviews finds that exercising pretty much any time prior to roughly two hours before bedtime will help you fall asleep faster and stay snoozing longer. That's all well and good from an immunity perspective but be sure not to break a sweat just before bed. The study authors add that exercising within two hours of hitting the sack often results in tossing and turning all night. If you make the mistake of exercising shortly before bed, it can result in both poorer sleep, and as a consequence, diminished immune function.

 

OPT FOR SOME SUN: If you can, working out during the day in an outdoor setting is a great way to reap even more immune system benefits. Soaking in some sun rays will boost your body’s natural production of Vitamin D. Vitamin D is integral to immune system regulation and functioning. A number of diseases and conditions are linked to vitamin D deficiency, and recent research even suggests that maintaining high vitamin D levels may help protect against COVID-19.

 

MODERATION IS KEY: If all of this has left you feeling afraid to break a sweat, don't overthink it. Exercise, in general, is a great habit for our immune systems and bodies in general, and only hinders immune function when we push ourselves too hard for too long. Something as simple as going for a walk can go a long way toward fostering improved immune protection. One research project published in Medicine & Science in Sports & Exercise reports a 30-minute walk is enough to increase white blood cell count. 

THE BEST WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR IMMUNITY NATURALLY: Research proves you don't need supplements to give your immune system a boost. Try these natural steps. You may not notice it most of the time, but your immune system always has your back. Over the course of a typical day, we all come into contact with countless germs, bacteria, and other pathogens. Thankfully, it's the human body's immune system that keeps us happy, healthy, and productive—at least most of the time. We all know the occasional illness or infection will inevitably break through, and if the COVID-19 pandemic has taught us all anything, it's that a robust immune system is always a good idea. Hopefully, you were already taking care of your immune system long before COVID-19, but if the past two years have you thinking about your body's defenses more often, you're certainly not alone. One survey commissioned by the brand Emergen-C found that 69% of Americans "care more" about their immune health now than prior to COVID-19. Interestingly, the same poll also found that over half of Americans (52%) wrongly believe that they can't change or improve their natural immunity levels. This, of course, couldn't be farther from the truth. There are a number of ways to naturally strengthen your immune system and put yourself in the best position possible to fight off disease or infection.

 

SLEEP STEADILY: A lot can go wrong when we're not sleeping, but did you know that inadequate sleep will inevitably lead to a weakened immune system? Staying up all night can be fun at times, but keep in mind that regular shuteye keeps your body's defenses as strong as possible. This is supported by plenty of research. Consider this study, published in the scientific journal 

 

SLEEP: Researchers tracked a group of over 160 generally healthy adults and found that those who usually slept less than six hours per night were much more likely to develop a cold. Similarly, research published in Behavioral Sleep Medicine reports that young adults dealing with insomnia were more likely to develop influenza than those with normal sleep patterns—even after getting the flu shot. Why is sleep so important for robust immune functioning? When we sleep, the body has a chance to rest, recharge, and replenish—and that goes for the immune system as well. One study published in the European Journal of Physiology explains that various immune cells such as cytokines and T-cells are created and dispersed throughout the body while we venture through dreamland. Moreover, a fascinating study published in Nature Neuroscience finds that one specific type of immune cell rewires and repairs the brain during sleep. So, getting at least seven hours of sleep per night won't just keep your body healthy, it will also provide immune cells with an opportunity to patrol the brain and spinal cord for any signs of infection, injury, or dead cell buildup.

 

DE-STRESS: A little bit of stress isn't necessarily a bad thing. At a manageable level, short-term stress can serve to motivate. At the same time, though, we can all relate to the occasional (or frequent) moment when stress is overwhelming and debilitating. Chronic stress can have a similar effect on the immune system. As explained in this study published in Current Opinion in Psychology, long-term stress leads to a buildup of the stress hormone cortisol. When that happens, all that excess cortisol actually blocks the immune system from doing its job. Another study published in Immunologic Research concludes that "chronic stress can suppress protective immune responses and/or exacerbate pathological immune responses." Now, de-stressing is often easier said than done. Stressful situations and developments have a knack for appearing at the worst of times. Still, there are plenty of strategies that show promise in the fight against chronic stress. Some methods will be better suited for certain people, but recent research suggests meditation, yoga, or even just petting a friendly pup for a few minutes can all go a long way toward lowering stress levels.

 

EXERCISE REGULARLY: It's common knowledge that regular exercise will keep muscles, joints, and bones strong, but steady sweat sessions are also a great way to keep your immune system humming. Research published in the Journal of Sport and Health Science states that exercise reduces bodily inflammation, boosts immune responses, and lowers the overall risk of illness. Another study released in BMC Public Health tracked over 1,400 people and found that those working out at least three times per week were 26% less likely to develop a cold. Similarly, a report published in the British Journal of Sports Medicine tracked participants over the course of three months. Those engaging in aerobics five times weekly experienced 43% fewer upper respiratory tract infections. If you're looking to start exercising more for your immune system's sake, following the guidelines laid out by the CDC is a great starting point. Try to achieve at least 150 weekly minutes of moderate exercise, like walking or cycling, as well as two weightlifting sessions per week.

 

SPEND TIME IN NATURE: One surprising way to boost immunity that's especially natural is getting out in nature. Modern living is super convenient, but so many of us barely ever find ourselves surrounded by a little bit of greenery and wildlife. Consequently, many are missing out on some major immunity benefits. One review published in Frontiers in Psychology concludes spending time around nature may boost natural protection against a litany of diseases including cancer, depression, obesity, diabetes, ADHD, and heart disease. "I pulled every bit of the research in this area together that I could find and was surprised to realize I could trace as many as 21 possible pathways between nature and good health—and even more surprised to realize that all but two of the pathways shared a single common denominator," study author Ming Kuo from the University of Illinois comments. "Finding that the immune system is a primary pathway provides an answer to the question of 'how' nature and the body work in concert to fight disease." When we spend time in nature, our bodies naturally become at ease. This state of relaxation and looseness frees up the immune system to build up its disease-fighting defenses. "When we feel completely safe, our body devotes resources to long-term investments that lead to good health outcomes—growing, reproducing, and building the immune system," Kuo adds. "When we are in nature in that relaxed state, and our body knows that it's safe, it invests resources toward the immune system." Also, spending time in nature has been shown time and time again to help relieve stress and improve mental health. So, nature can also help with immunity via its stress-fighting benefits.

 

BY: John Anderer, Eat This, Not That, OCTOBER 5, 2021

FACT CHECKED BY: Faye Brennan

Much Love, Dr.Shermaine, #InformativeRead #PleaseShare #HealthyBodySoulAndSpirit #IWantYou2LiveWell #FeelFree2SignUpAndFollow

The Goal is to Always Make You Aware of What Concerns Your Body, Soul and Spirit, So You Can Have Open, Honest and Frequent Discussions With Your Physicians and Counselors. You Can’t Treat or Cure What You Don’t Know is Sick.
 
"It's Not Selfish to Love Yourself, Take Care of Yourself and to Make Your Happiness a Priority. It's a Necessity." (Mandy Hale)

"Self-Care is Not Selfish. You Cannot Serve From an Empty Vessel." (Eleanor Brown)

The contents of the Eat This, Not That and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine Sites, such as text, graphics, images, and other material contained on the Eat This, Not That and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine Sites ("Content") are for informational purposes only. The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on the Eat This, Not That and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine Sites!

If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately. Eat This, Not That and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine does not recommend or endorse any specific tests, physicians, products, procedures, opinions, or other information that may be mentioned on the Sites. Reliance on any information provided by Eat This, Not That, Eat This, Not That employees, others appearing on the Site at the invitation of Eat This, Not That, and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine or other visitors to the Sites is solely at your own risk.  

“Avoid the Valentine’s Day Crash!”

2 Samuel 11:2-4, “One night he couldn’t get to sleep and went for a stroll on the roof of the palace. AS HE LOOKED out over the city, HE NOTICED a woman of unusual beauty taking her evening bath.  He sent to find out who she was and was told that she was Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah.  Then David sent for her and when she came he slept with her. (She had just completed the purification rites after menstruation.) Then she returned home.” (TLB)

Talk about a lot of stuff going on in just a few verses! 

Well, before we get to that, listen to this…

I haven’t done a radio broadcast in a long time. However, there’s one broadcast that I will never forget! You see, I was invited to speak on a radio broadcast with a ministry colleague. At the time we were both spear-heading the women’s ministries at our separate churches, and this broadcast was focused on our views and vision for women’s ministry. We were in the studio getting ready to tape a live broadcast. But what made this program so exciting is that we also had a live studio audience filled with a lot of women in ministry. 

However, this particular session was to include a specific church whose women’s ministry was coming to be a part of the audience. This particular women’s ministry we both knew quite well, since we’ve both fellow-shipped numerous times with them.

We were so excited! It was the first radio broadcast for either of us and to have a live audience at the same time was crazy!

We were excited…they were excited…the audience was excited… 

HOWEVER, we waited, and we waited, and they never showed up! 

Consequently we never got to do the program that we planned so diligently for months to do! No one had even called us to inform us of anything! Now, either they were pretty irresponsible, or maybe something major had happened! 

Then, we found out, that in fact, something major had happened. The man driving them to the studio had looked down for just a brief second and they plowed into the rear of a construction truck!  

Thankfully no one was seriously injured, and they even came back another time to do a program.  

Now, to this day, I’m still grateful that no one was injured, but I could never figure out what was so important that the driver took his eyes off the road, knowing he had a van load of women to get to an event safely?!  

Well, I found that out a little later. Believe it or not, he had just entered into a new relationship, and it was her who had called him. His phone rang, he looked down and her face was on the phone. In his own words, “I got distracted when I saw her…”  

However, that minor distraction caused him major damage!  

Women were not seriously hurt, but they were injured. They were supposed to be somewhere, and due to his distraction, they didn’t make it (which was a domino effect of disappointment for them, for us, for the audience, for the studio and staff etc…) Not to mention he lost his job, destroyed the church van, and the woman whose face was such a beautiful distraction, caused him an ugly break-up in the end!

Who knew just a brief look could distort and destroy vision and destiny?!

If you think about it, it really didn’t take much to cause that crash – actually, it just took one moment to look away! Indeed, that’s been the cause of many accidents, physical, emotional, and spiritual.

Which shifts our focus to 2 Samuel 11:1. I find this one of the saddest chapters in all of the Bible, it reads: “Then it happened in the spring, AT THE TIME WHEN THE KINGS GO OUT TO BATTLE, that David sent Joab and his servants with him, and all [the fighting men of] Israel, and they destroyed the Ammonites and besieged Rabbath. BUT DAVID REMAINED IN JERUSALEM” (AMP) David’s job was to be out there fighting God’s battles right alongside the other fighting men. But instead he decided he would take a day off in more ways than one.

Not Being On His Assignment, Allowed an Attraction to Distract Him!

Beginning at verse 2 it reads: “One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof HE SAW A WOMAN bathing. The woman was very beautiful, and David sent someone to find out about her. The man said, ‘She is Bathsheba, THE WIFE OF URIAH,’” who, by the way, was ONE OF HIS TRUSTED MEN. “She came to him and he slept with her.” 

The danger? “…HE SAW A WOMAN…”

The Next danger? “…THE WOMAN WAS VERY BEAUTIFUL…”

The Next danger? HE FOUND OUT WHO SHE WAS, KNEW SHE WAS OFF LIMITS, AND YET HE SLEPT WITH HER ANYHOW!

However, the initial danger that started it all was… “…HE SAW A WOMAN…”

Let’s read this again: “One night he couldn’t get to sleep and went for a stroll on the roof of the palace…” Well David, if you were where you were supposed to be in the first place you wouldn’t be in this predicament! The Bible says, “Then it happened in the spring, AT THE TIME WHEN THE KINGS GO OUT TO BATTLE…BUT DAVID REMAINED IN JERUSALEM” David, you couldn’t sleep because you weren’t supposed to be sleeping, you were supposed to be fighting! Temptation always rears its ugly head when you’re not doing what you’re supposed to be doing; and when you’re not in the place you should be! Don’t Let the Rooftop Ruin You! When you’re supposed to be on the Battleground, be there! Because oftentimes when you go out of position, you go out of line!

So, while David is inactive and out of place, “…HE LOOKED out over the city, HE NOTICED a woman of unusual beauty taking her evening bath…” I reiterate David, if you were on the battlefield, WHERE YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN, you would never have taken notice of the unusual beauty taking a bath! David was supposed to be NOTICING the ENEMY, not the ENTICEMENT to WILLFULLY SIN! Don’t Let Sin Catch You in the City When You Should Be Out in the Field!  

“…He sent to find out who she was and was told that she was Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the WIFE OF URIAH…” The worse part about it all is that DAVID FOUND OUT WHO SHE WAS, AND WHOSE SHE WAS, AND STILL HE HAD TO HAVE HER! Not that it makes it any better if it were a stranger, but David, Uriah was one of your TRUSTED MEN. How do you allow your character to have such a tremendous flaw that the one you trusted, couldn’t trust you?! The one out fighting your battle has no idea that you’re watching his wife bathe! Instead of Doing What KINGS Do, David Was Doing What JOKERS DO! How do you stab in the back the very one who covers you from all sides? David had full control of what and who he saw, and what he deliberately decided to do with it. No excuse, no justification, no reasoning, no ‘oops my bad’ etc…   

“…Then David sent for her and when she came he slept with her. (She had just completed the purification rites after menstruation.) Then she returned home.” (TLB) Yep, there’s a whole lot going on here. She’s coming off her menstrual, she takes a customary purification bath, the king sends for her, she goes, she has sex with him, and she goes back home. Well, ain’t that just an interesting night? Grant it, when the king sent for you, especially as a woman in that time, you went to him no questions, arguments, refusals or negotiations. They didn’t have the protection we have today as women. The saying goes, ‘when a woman says ‘no’, it’s no.’ But unfortunately, that did not apply in Bathsheba’s day. Nor did they have the ability to make a lot of their own decisions. Many of the women then were seen as property and possessions not as a person. And I get all of that. But my focus isn’t on Bathsheba right now anyhow. It’s on David. All of his actions were his own, they were focused, calculated, manipulative, deliberate and entitled.

In a nutshell: There was a moral crash that night that David could never have foreseen and all the damages that would follow simply by not being where he should have been, and doing what he should have been doing. Take that as a warning for yourself too…selah…

Chapter 12, the prophet says to David, “You despised the Word of the Lord.” In other words he got tempted and he stopped caring what God would think. The word “despise” is defined as “to feel contempt or repugnance for.” It’s Latin Origin “despicere” literally means “to look down.” The word ‘repugnance’ is defined as, ‘intense disgust.’ Its Origin means, ‘opposition’ from Latin, ‘repugnare’ meaning ‘to oppose.’ And lastly, the word, ‘opposition’ is defined as, ‘disapprove of, resist, or be hostile to; to compete with or fight; contrasting or conflicting; opposite.’ Its Old French Origin, ‘opposer’, from Latin ‘opponere’ literally means ‘to set one’s heart and mind against.’ When David made his deliberate and willful decision to sin, he did so despising the Word of the Lord. Which means he looked down on God’s Word; he held it in intense disgust; he was in opposition to God’s Word; and he set his heart and mind against God’s Word!  

How is it possible that the man after God’s own heart, took his eyes off Him? Instead of looking up, he began to look down, and as soon as he did, he saw temptation. Have you ever been there? God-focused, and then in one glance, distort His vision for your life? I know I have, repetitively! In the wrong place, with the wrong person, doing the wrong thing, and in my FULL RIGHT MIND! Yep, I said it! And I say it because so many are walking in shoes I’ve already walked in, grown out of and thrown away! And when I share my stumbles, trips and falls in my Christian walk, it helps my brothers and sisters in Christ to walk better. Because I can tell them the roads, back alley’s, cliffs, dead-ends, stops, go’s and yields that I ignored that almost warped my entire walk with God forever! My biggest mistakes (and bad, willful, deliberate choices) came most often when I wasn’t where I should’ve been and neglectful of what I should have been doing! Like David, I was inactive and in danger! 

And the danger of that? Then the prophet says, “The sword will NEVER depart from your house.” “Never” in its simplest definition means “not ever; not at all.” Oh, David’s sin is forgiven, but the consequences will haunt him, and all those attached to him, for the rest of his life and legacy! Never under-estimate the lifetime damage one night can bring! Just ask the clinics who are treating varying STD’s; just visit many of the abortion clinics; talk with those trying to figure out what to do with this baby that wasn’t supposed to be conceived. It was just one night? Absolutely! But can you imagine all that can happen, in an instant, in just one night, with just one decision?! 

Eve wasn’t just conceived and carried to full-term for 9 months and then throughout the years grew up into the woman for Adam. Nope, Adam had need of her, and God reached in him and pulled her out full-grown just for him, in an instant! If He can do that, you do know that you can conceive a baby or contract a disease just as quickly! The question to ask is, is it really worth it? Selah…

Then the prophet says, “The Lord has taken away your sin, but by doing this you have made the enemies of the Lord show utter contempt“(2 Samuel 12:14). So, not only did David mess up his own life, and all those attached to him, but matters get even worse for him because now God’s reputation has been smeared because of what one of His children did in one night of being inactive, and out of place! How many times have we seen that happen? One brief shift of focus, one night inactive, one night out of place, one look, and you make a damaging, deliberate decision that destroys you and everything and everyone attached! 

Despite what many may think, adultery doesn’t involve the married couple and whomever the outside offender may be. It actually involves all their families, their lives, their health, and even their relationship with God, we’ve just seen that with King David. Relishing in one night of pleasure is never worth the loss of Relationship with your significant other, your families, loved ones, and especially your God.

What caused this very costly moral crash? The same thing that caused the crash of that van in the opening story – ONE LOOK AWAY!  

I believe someone is reading this right now, and God wants to say to you, “You’re about to crash because you’ve looked away.” However, He doesn’t want you to crash! He doesn’t want you to pay for the damages for the rest of your life and legacy. So He’s sending you this loving warning today. Are you listening? Are you taking heed? You’ve looked away from His book. You’ve put your Bible on a shelf and seldom are you showing up for your time with the Lord anymore. You’ve looked away from His calling on your life and you’re on a spiritual vacation. You’ve looked away from Jesus and you’ve let something or someone else take over your heart. You’re headed for a terrible crash!

David took a spiritual day off and he paid for that day with the rest of his life (and dare we say with Uriah and David and Bathsheba’s son’s life as well)! It could be you’ve been taking some spiritual days off and Satan is using your complacency, he’s using your carelessness to make you drift off the road that God once had you on. Listen, it’s time to look up, it’s time to wake up, and it’s time to quit flirting with that temptation. God said flee from it, not flirt with it! It’s time to drop that person or the people who are pulling you away from your Savior. No more compromise, no more drifting, because it will cost you too much! Look up again at Jesus who suffered and died for the very sin you’ve been playing with. Come back to His love. Come back to His Lordship. It’s so much better (and safer) there. 

If you look away much longer the crash is going to be inevitable and it’s going to be costly!

And might I add that since today is Valentine’s Day, you should indeed drive your spirit and your flesh with caution, especially if you’re single! Why? Because, this is one of those times of the year when my calendar for counseling goes through the roof, because of what so many did in one night because they were lonely and needed love or attention (or some distorted temporary version of it). Do not make the mistake of letting your eyes shift to him or her, no matter what they may look like, no matter what they may offer you, no matter what they may say to you. Don’t Crash! 

Buy your own card, buy your own candy, tell yourself I love you, and do not watch Lifetime or Hallmark channels! Do not go reminiscing over the so-called wonderful man or woman they were when yall were together. Because truth is, if it were indeed that great together, why are you apart now?! Don’t get sucked into the Valentine’s Day THEME! Half the people that you envy that are smiling about Valentine’s Day is because of cards, candy, flowers and gifts, they’re excited about because they haven’t received any of that in the last 364 days! Don’t lose your mind and your life over one day or one night! If love is significant and real you received cards, candy, flowers and gifts on last month Tuesday, for no other reason than that it was last month Tuesday! He/She didn’t need to wait for February 14th to tell you, show you and prove to you that they love you!
Don’t let the commercialization of this holiday cause you to crash!
  If you’re single, stay single! My mother used to say “a real woman knows her value and worth, she never acts like loose change.” Comical to many, but oh so true! 

Instead of being like David inactive, out of place and blinded by distorted vision, be as active as possible wherever God has planted you. Give your all to where you are supposed to be and on what you’re supposed to be doing. And don’t just hang out with “any” single folks, but hang out with those who are focused, not distracted, not lonely, not needy, not desperate, not depressed, not dysfunctional, not settling. Create your inner-circle with those who are determined to wait for God’s absolute best! No compromise, just conviction! 

Ladies, keep your dress down and your standards up! Gentlemen, keep your shirt buttoned and your zipper zipped! Set the bar so high for them to reach that they will need to take up the High Jump in the Olympics just to figure out how to get that high up to reach your level! The best apples are always out of reach at the top of the tree (you have to work long and hard to possess them), but those that are bruised, damaged, used, easy, and cheap lay on the ground, in the dirt, accessible to anyone!

Lastly, remember the opening story. All those women in that van had an agenda, had a goal, had an aim. They knew where they were going and what they were going to do once they got there. They were together and on one accord. The only danger was the person they had in control was easily distracted by what he saw! They could’ve ended up paying the price of his distraction with their very lives. Which means, be careful of who you let lead you! Make sure they see what you see. Make sure you are indeed valuable cargo to them, so they treat you with the protective care you deserve. You never want to be on the road to your assignment and have it aborted simply because one person took one look and loss control of it all! You have too much at stake to risk losing sight…even for just one night!

Enjoy Happy Valentine’s Day! 

Know That I Love You, But God Loves You More, and Loves You Best! 

Which is Why You Can’t Afford to Crash Your Character or Calling!

Much Love, Dr.Shermaine, #EnjoyTheRead #PleaseShare #HealthyBodySoulAndSpirit

#BeInspired #BeEncouraged #BeEmpowered #BeChallenged #IWantYou2LiveWell #FeelFree2SignUpAndFollow