“How to Keep Work From Working Your Nerves?!”

“AVOID WORKPLACE CONTAMINATION!” Ephesians 6:13, “Be Prepared…” (MSG)  

The “toxins” in our workplace environment can invade our attitudes, thoughts and behaviors. So, stay focused on the spiritual battle that awaits you. Prepare for it each morning by putting on your armor. What armor?“Be prepared. You’re up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it’s all over but the shouting you’ll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You’ll need them throughout your life. God’s Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other’s spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out” (Ephesians 6:13-18 MSG).

The problem with many of us is that we prepare to go to work putting on the best clothes, the prettiest shoes, the most flawless makeup and the most neatly crafted hair styles, but we fail to put on the most important of all, the Full Armor of God! And then we wonder why we can’t handle their whispers, the rolling of their eyes, the sucking of their teeth, the water cooler lies, or the bathroom rumor mill meeting places. You can’t handle it because you didn’t prepare yourself to handle it! Please understand, the most important thing before work is not your coffee, it’s your Armor! And until we get our priorities in order, persecution will forever triumph over us in the workplace! In addition, before picking up the phone, pick yourself up and call on God! It’s called Prayer! You can’t talk to everybody and leave God out, and then when everybody is talking about you, you call on Him to get them like He’s a dog you sic on an aggravating enemy! It simply does not work that way!

Therefore, since a piece of your Armor needs to be your prayer life, perhaps you’d like to pray the following prayer to get you started: “Father, thank You for the blessings of my present job. As I suit up for work today, protect me, strengthen me, use me and bless me. Let me remain focused on You, allowing Your Word and Your Presence to shield me from all contaminants such as pride, insensitivity, being short-tempered, and failure to show love. My worth comes from you, not my job, so I rest in the knowledge that you see all I do, and that my labor will not go unrewarded. In Jesus’ Name I pray. Amen.” 

Prayer is Vital to Solving Problems!

You also need to learn how to keep things in proper perspective, always! Your job is your Resource, your God is your Source! So stop acting like your job is more than it is, don’t make it an idol, regardless to how much your salary is or what the title says on your office door! You are there to do a good job, get a paycheck, represent your Savior well and go home! It really is just that simple! Unfortunately, however, we make it complicated by allowing toxins to contaminate us! Listen: The word “Toxin” means “a poisonous substance”. And “Poison” means “a substance that causes death or injury when introduced into or absorbed by a living organism; a destructive or corrupting influence” Its Old French Origin means “Magic Potion”, from Latin “Potio” which means “Potion”. And “Contaminate” means “to make impure by exposure to.” Its Latin Origin “Contaminare” means “Make Impure”, from “Contamen” which means “Contact, Pollution.” And what does all of that mean?

You experience Workplace Contamination when you come into contact with people who have a poisonous personality that proves its influence is destructive and deteriorating. And once you’re exposed to it, it works like a ‘magic potion’, it pulls stuff out of you that you would have never thought would come out of you! So understand this, your coworkers and bosses are people you work with. You need to learn how to set up barriers, and have only necessary contact to get the job done. Anything outside of that, come out from among them and be ye separated says the Apostle Paul! Stop allowing their substance to influence you to behave, conduct yourself and speak in a manner that you know would not be pleasing to your Savior, whom you are there to represent, even on your 9-5!

People of God, get yourself together, do your job, keep as much of you separated as possible, get your paycheck and go home! Does that hinder you from sharing the gospel when an opportunity arises? Absolutely not, but don’t be foolish, when you are tempted to act out of character, that is not a witness for Christ! Some plant, some water, but God gives the increase says the Scripture. However, if you know for certain that you can’t do this without becoming contaminated, you don’t attempt to plant or water any further, you walk away and simply be the extra person who sits on the sidelines, prays and keeps quiet!

Look at it like this: Ships sail on water, but if the water gets in, even a Battleship will sink! So, go through the waters of your work environment without allowing them to get in you, and contaminate you. And be realistic in expecting what the job will deliver. Keep your focus on why you’re there, Who sent you, Who sees you, and Who’s preparing you for greater things. Go into work, but don’t let work get into you! Proverbs 16:3, “Put God in charge of your work, then what you’ve planned will take place.” MSG

“3 STEPS TO KEEPING YOUR JOB!” James 1:19, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” (NIV). 

Eighty percent of the time people don’t lose their job because of Technical incompetence, but because of Relational incompetence—in other words, they don’t know how to work well with other people. But if you master the 3 instructions that James gives, the likelihood of that happening to you, will go down to zero. 

Therefore:

1. BE QUICK TO LISTEN! By staying calm and refusing to react, you gain insight—and respect! Which is why the Bible states: “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.” (Proverbs 29:11 NIV). Learn how to hear a matter out, and not just to make a point, to show someone up, or to show out yourself! But be quick to listen to Someone Else! The word “Quick” is defined as “moving fast; with little or no delay; immediately; prompt.” Its Old English Origin means “Alive and Alert”. In other words, when someone is saying something you don’t like, or they have a critique or even a critical comment, remember YOU have control over YOU! So be quick to listen, move fast to shut your mouth and open your ears! Make no delay, do it promptly and immediately! Truth is, the greatest misunderstandings come from “Miscommunication”, which is nothing more than “Missing the Point of What Was Actually Communicated!” Remember: You Can’t Talk And Listen Attentively at the same time!

2. BE SLOW TO SPEAK! If you talk too much or too fast, here are 3 tips to slow you down:

                a. STOP! Just stop talking! Inhale slowly, exhale slowly, count to 10, excuse yourself and go to the bathroom. Whatever it takes, just shut up. Psalm 39:1 says, “I said, I will take heed to my ways, that I sin not with my tongue: I will keep my mouth with a bridle, while the wicked is before me.” Then Wisdom further declares, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” Proverbs 18:21. The last thing you want is someone’s reputation, character or spirit to be destroyed—because you can’t control your mouth!

                b. PRACTICE NOT INTERRUPTING! Allow the other person to continue what they’re saying until they’re finished. “Even dunces who keep quiet are thought to be wise; as long as they keep their mouths shut, they’re smart.” Proverbs 17:28 MSG.

                c. ASK YOURSELF QUESTIONS! Why am I talking so much? Is it insecurity? Anxiety? The need to control? A desire to impress? The reason most of us try to convince, impress or control others is because we have a hard time trusting God to work things out for us. In other words, “our talk issue, is really a trust issue.” Ask God to help you with this!

Remember: You are to be Slow to Speak! Might I add, that is the opposite of QUICK! In fact, the word “Slow” is defined as “lasting or taking a long time; showing little activity”. In other words, your ears should be working overtime and your mouth should be unemployed! Get it? Good!

3. BE SLOW TO ANGER! If you observe the first two principles, you’ll tend to come out all right on number three. It’ll naturally happen. When you manage to be a quick listener and a slow speaker, handling anger becomes a non-issue. Who gets angry when they’re busy being quick to listen and slow to speak? You don’t have time to get angry, you’re too busy concentrating on making sure the right organs are going at the right speed! Seriously, you can make progress on the job by acting on this advice from James, and what better time than today to get started? Remember: like a car, make sure you are always going the right speed limit, there are indeed consequences if you don’t! Bear in mind: Proverbs 12:14, “Well-spoken words bring satisfaction; well-done work has its own reward.” MSG. 

“HOW TO SUCCEED ON THE JOB?” Ephesians 6:7, “With good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men”.  

How do you succeed? 

1. BY KEEPING YOUR EYES ON YOUR JOB OBJECTIVE! For example: Are you selling windows? Then don’t walk into someone’s house and offer unsolicited advice about their living room décor. In other words, focus on what you’re called to do. People can be easily offended, and by speaking about areas outside your expertise—what your customer has solicited your help in—is now jeopardized. So keep proper perspective on the assignment at hand.

2. BY LEARNING TO APPRECIATE PEOPLE, EVEN THOSE YOU DON’T LIKE! Customers and Co-Workers are not friends; friends are friends. Understand, embrace and accept the difference! Place value on others. Respect them, even if your personal opinions differ from theirs! Remember, your success is not determined by personalities! It’s about business, not buddies, so stay focused.

3. BY TREATING EVERYONE FAIRLY AND EQUALLY! If you show favoritism by only being kind and respectful to those you like, you’re in for trouble—if not now, then surely somewhere down the road. You need to learn how to work with people who aren’t your favorites. Why? Because they will remember your attitude, whether good or bad, and based on that they may not be particularly inclined to help you in the future. And just in case you decide to test the waters, don’t be surprised if God allows them to be your only contact to fulfill your next assignment!

4. BY TRYING NOT TO TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY! You must learn to let go of grudges and to set aside past histories with your co-workers. When you find your emotions flaring up and you’re tempted to react, stop and remember what’s really going on; you’re in the midst of a battle and the first shots have been fired. This is the time to say a silent prayer, remember your true calling, and respond with love, patience and a professionalism that will cause those around you to respect what you’re made of!

In a Nutshell: What we see on Sunday in your work for God, should be a direct reflection of what others see in your work from Monday through Saturday. If you’re going to succeed on the job, these are mandatory! Bear in mind: Proverbs 22:29, “Observe people who are good at their work—skilled workers are always in demand and admired; they don’t take a backseat to anyone.” MSG.

“UNDERSTAND WHAT GOD VALUES ABOUT YOUR WORK!” James 4:10, “Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.” NKJV. 

What does God value in our job performance? 

1. HE VALUES HUMILITY AND SERVANTHOOD, NOT PRIDE AND A SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT! “Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.” If we are secure in our identity as God’s children, we can relax and know that, like the loving parent He is, our Heavenly Father will recognize and reward us fairly and generously. Knowing this, frees us from having to be recognized by others. Indeed, if being appreciated is your sole reason for working, God will have people overlook you on purpose until you get the order of work straight in your mind. And that is, you can be appreciated at home, by your friends and your family, but work is just what it sounds like: WORK!

2. HE VALUES COURAGE AND RISK-TAKING! Consider the faith it took for David to leave his home, the humble shepherd’s pallet on the hillsides, and travel to King Saul’s palace. He must have felt just a little out of place, knowing he was under-dressed and uninformed about the culture of the royal court. Like a boy from the slums suddenly finding himself in Buckingham Palace, David was instantly out of his comfort zone. Then later, after it’s clear that his new boss is afflicted by an evil spirit and intends to kill him, David coolly maintains his mission because he knows God wants him there. Remember: “…HE will lift you up.” One day David would have his boss’s position, palace and perks, but he had to leave the How and the When up to God and serve faithfully. The same goes for you! Bear in mind: Proverbs 25:6, “Don’t work yourself into the spotlight; don’t push your way into the place of prominence. It’s better to be promoted to a place of honor than face humiliation by being demoted.” MSG.

“LEARN TO USE YOUR BUSINESS TO DO GOD’S BUSINESS!” Luke 5:3, “…using the boat for a pulpit, he taught the crowd.” MSG.  

Luke writes: “He climbed into the boat that was [Peter’s]…using the boat for a pulpit, He taught the crowd” (Luke 5:2-3 MSG).

  

All our “Boats” belong to Jesus. You may say, ‘I don’t have a boat.’ Yes you do. We all do. You see your “Boat” is where you spend your time making a living. So in case you need clarity, Jesus says to you, “You may drive My garbage truck…work on My construction site…change bed pans in My hospital …preside in My courtroom…edit My newspaper…program My computer…sew in purple weaves in My beauty shop…glue on acrylic nails in My salon…even serve fries and a shake in My McDonald’s. But never fail to remember, Your work is My work! So always make sure your boat is available for My use!”   

            

Later, Peter the boat owner wrote: “You are royal priests. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God.” (1 Peter 2:9 NLT). And what does a priest do? He represents God to the people—and you’re supposed to do the same thing with your work! Regardless, to what type of work it is, you are to do it as unto the Lord. Your work represents His work. “…Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus…” (Colossians 3:17 MSG). Moses prayed, “…let the loveliness of our Lord…rest on us, confirming the work that we do. Oh, yes. Affirm the work that we do” (Psalm 90:17 MSG). It will not always be in the Gospel you preach that reveals the Glory of your God to people. They can see it in the way you comb hair, pull a tooth, mop a floor, empty a garbage can, type a letter, flip a burger, or even push a stroller. The bottom line is: Whatever you say they should hear God, and whatever you do they should see God.      

         

Perhaps you still see no way God could use your work. Your boss has the disposition of a pit bull. Hamsters have larger work areas then you do; your kids have a better per diem. You feel like you’re sentenced to an outpost in Siberia, and hope for a promotion has left on the last train to Georgia. But that’s why Henry Giles, a 19th century preacher, said, “There is no task so low that we may not elevate it; so dull that we may not enliven it, if we understand that what we are doing is service to our Lord Jesus Christ.” So whether you wear a skirt and a blazer or a hair net and an apron…your business is God’s business. Advertise Him well! Bear in mind: Proverbs 16:11, “God cares about honesty in the workplace; your business is his business.” MSG.

People of God, in order to Stop Allowing the Workplace to Work Your Last Nerve Remember: 

a) “AVOID WORKPLACE CONTAMINATION!”; 

b) Use the “3 STEPS TO KEEPING YOUR JOB!” (Be Quick to Listen; Be Slow to Speak and Be Slow to Anger); 

c) Learn “HOW TO SUCCEED ON THE JOB?” (Keep Your Eyes On Your Job Objective; Learn to Appreciate People, Even Those You Don’t Like; and Treat Everyone Fairly and Equally); 

d) “UNDERSTAND WHAT GOD VALUES ABOUT YOUR WORK!” (God Values Humility and Servanthood, Not Pride and a Sense of Entitlement; God Values Courage and Risk-Taking); 

e) “LEARN TO USE YOUR BUSINESS TO DO GOD’S BUSINESS!”

Remember: YOU ARE EMPLOYED, NOT ENSLAVED! Stop Taking Everything Personal, Take it Professional. Never Step Out of Character! Guard Your Heart, Mind and Mouth! Control Your Actions! Always Put Your Best Foot Forward! Be On Your Best Behavior at All Times! Do Your Work and Stop Allowing Your Work to Do You In!

Much Love, Dr.Shermaine #InformativeRead #PleaseShare #HealthyBodySoulAndSpirit

"It's Not Selfish to Love Yourself, Take Care of Yourself and to Make Your Happiness a Priority. It's a Necessity." (Mandy Hale)

"Self-Care is Not Selfish. You Cannot Serve From an Empty Vessel." (Eleanor Brown)

“Are You Guilty of Verbal Abuse?”

Ephesians 4:31, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor [perpetual animosity, resentment, strife, fault-finding] and slander be put away from you, along with every kind of malice [all spitefulness, verbal abuse, malevolence].” (AMP)
 
I love children! But if you ask my children, they will probably tell you that’s because I’ve yet to grow up myself! My eldest daughter often reminds me that I love children and they love me, because we’re all the same age…mentally! They relate to you because you relate to them, ma! Which may hold a tad bit of truth actually! You see, I love board games, jumping rope, running through the house, playing on the swings, watching cartoons, blowing bubbles in my milk, dancing to any kind of music (even the music in my head that no one else hears but me), playing with puppies, wearing ponytails, coloring in coloring books (outside the lines of course), and I think I have more teddy-bear’s than ‘Build-a-Bear’! In a nutshell, yep, I believe I love children because I’m still one of them! But it’s also my love of children that has always made me over-protective of them. As a child, I had some unfortunate moments happen to me that should never happen to any child, and so where kids are concerned, I’m a little overly-sensitive. 

In relation to that, another reason I’m this way is because of a little girl, I didn’t even know. A friend of mine who’s a police officer told me of his worst case on the job. He said it was the day we were called to a home, and the first person to greet us was a 5 year old little girl. We walked up to her sitting on the front porch and introduced ourselves. But when we asked her, her name, her response is what blew us away. She responded, "my name is Stupid." She's only 5 years old, but when they were sent to respond to a report of child abuse, that's what she told them “my name is Stupid”. The marks of abuse were all over her little body. There were bruises everywhere, she had a black eye, she had scars on her back, she had cigarette burns up and down her little arms. And as grave as all of that sounds, those will heal in time. But what about the names she's been called? Would she ever heal from the wounds of words? Can you imagine being called ‘Stupid’ so often in just a span of 5 short years, that you actually think "Stupid" is your name?

But wait…before you pass judgment…think about this! What about the names we've called people? Yes, us, believers, the church, disciples of Christ, children of the Most High God. What about the names we've called people? Even people - maybe especially people - that we say we love. How many people we know carry invisible, but indelible scars from being wounded by our own devastating words? And more often than not, it's not that we necessarily meant to hurt them. Sometimes, we’re honestly just angry, or frustrated, or stressed, or feeling unheard, unloved, unappreciated, taken for granted, used, or ignored. And as our emotions escalate, so often do our words. And words are like bullets. Once they're fired, you can't get them back. You can’t stop the bullet. You can’t stop its impact. You can’t stop its damage. You can’t dismiss the discharge.

And we all know that's true. Many of us still feel the sting of the names we were called a long time ago? Even though the one who fired them at us has probably totally forgotten it. In fact, some of us still replay those words and it’s like an automatic weapon is firing off rapid bullets into our soul, self-esteem and self-worth: ‘Stupid; Idiot; Dummy; Ugly; Fat; Useless, Nappy-Head; Pimple-Face; Loser; Fatso; Bean-Pole; Giraffe; Shrimp…’. All these years later, those bullets still pierce our heart as though it were yesterday. And truth be told, some of those bullets were fired off, just yesterday. Some of them Towards Us, and some of them From Us.

And sad as it is to say, it's often our children who are most damaged by our hurtful words, because children tend to become what we call them. Label them as "lazy" or "stupid" or "worthless" long enough, and it will stick. But then, so will words like, "princess", “gentleman” or "smart" or "helper" or "wonderful." Think about it: If your child/children turned out to be what you’ve called them all these years, would you be Elated or Embarrassed?
 
And to add insult to injury, our kids also store what they hear their parents call each other in those heated moments; giving them tacit permission to speak disrespectfully in their own relationships, too. Your precious little girl and priceless little boy won’t always be little, but if you don’t teach them better by example, they will always be immature. You don’t want your speech in heated moments to be the blueprint your children use in building up or tearing down their own relationships and marriages. Just think, what your son hears you call your wife will teach him what to call his one day. What your daughter hears you call your husband will teach her what to call hers one day. So, have they been hearing the right names called? Has your speech been setting the proper example to be imitated?
 
But families are not the only place our words leave wounds. Proverbs 18:21 says, "The tongue has the power of life and death…", at school, at work, at the game, in church, in the mall, at the laundromat, in the supermarket, at the barbershop, at the nail and hair salons, at the bank, stuck in traffic, in all our close relationships. Everywhere you go, you are armed and dangerous with the power of your tongue! So, is your weapon saving lives or taking them? If people bled physically every time we wounded them verbally, I wonder what a trail we'd leave behind. How many people are walking around bleeding internally because of what we said verbally? Is someone now thinking they’re worthless; damaged goods; not good enough; not thin enough; not pretty enough. Is someone now feeling less than; insignificant; inadequate, because of the wounds of our words? Is someone second-guessing themselves; intimidated; insecure, because our words have wounded and handicapped their confidence? 

And just in case you don’t think our words are that powerful, listen to the translations of Proverbs 12:18:

“Sharp words cut like a sword, but words of wisdom heal.” (CEV);

“Thoughtless words can wound as deeply as any sword, but wisely spoken words can heal.” (GNT);

“Speak without thinking, and your words can cut like a knife. Be wise, and your words can heal.” (ERV);

“Careless words stab like a sword, but the words of wise people bring healing.” (GWT);

“Some people like to make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise soothe and heal.” (TLB);

“Rash language cuts and maims, but there is healing in the words of the wise.” (MSG);

“The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” (NIV);

“There is one whose foolish words cut like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” (NLV)

The one thing we cannot deny is the fact that whether our words hurt or heal is our deliberate choice. We can blame no one for the words we choose to use to wound others. And we cannot use the excuse that they brought it out of us; they deserved it; they’ll get over it; or but what about what they said to me. No, we are responsible and accountable for our own actions, words, attitude and behavior. We don’t get to point fingers or play the blame game. When our words, “cut; stab and maim”, it was no accident. Their wounds from our words are our fault. Which is why we have to be ever so careful of our speech.  The Scripture clearly contrasts the speech of the Wise and the Fool. The wise give words that “soothe and bring healing”; the fool speaks words that “cut like a sword.” So have your words been wise or foolish? Have your words been hurting or healing?

God puts it this way, "And among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself" (James 3:6 NLT). The Message Bible says it like this: “It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell.” (MSG)

Now, do you really think we can afford to take our speech so lightly? Our tongue is set on fire from the pit of hell and possesses the power to destroy our entire life and the entire world! Getting a better grip on our lip is vital not optional!  

Which is why we need to learn how to use our ears more than our mouths: “Understand this, my beloved brothers and sisters. Let everyone be quick to hear [be a careful, thoughtful listener], slow to speak [a speaker of carefully chosen words and], slow to anger [patient, reflective, forgiving]” (James 1:19 AMP) The Message Bible says it like this: “Post this at all the intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear…” (MSG). And if you think about it, if we would listen more and talk less, anger would always straggle behind. The word “straggle” is defined as “to trail slowly behind.” If we would be quick to listen and slow to speak, our anger would control its own gauge.

Which reminds me of yet another Scripture we need to keep on our lips BEFORE we speak: 

Ephesians 4:26-32, “Be angry [at sin—at immorality, at injustice, at ungodly behavior], yet do not sin; do not let your anger [cause you shame, nor allow it to] last until the sun goes down.  And do not give the devil an opportunity [to lead you into sin by holding a grudge, or nurturing anger, or harboring resentment, or cultivating bitterness]…Do not let unwholesome [foul, profane, worthless, vulgar] words ever come out of your mouth, but only such speech as is good for building up others, according to the need and the occasion, so that it will be a blessing to those who hear [you speak].  And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God [but seek to please Him], by whom you were sealed and marked [branded as God’s own] for the day of redemption [the final deliverance from the consequences of sin].  Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor [perpetual animosity, resentment, strife, fault-finding] and slander be put away from you, along with every kind of malice [all spitefulness, verbal abuse, malevolence].  Be kind and helpful to one another, tender-hearted [compassionate, understanding], forgiving one another [readily and freely], just as God in Christ also forgave you.” (AMP)

Even when you’re angry for justifiable reasons, your anger and words are still your responsibility. There is no excuse you can use for wounding others with your words, not even when angry. Especially when we, believers, possess the fruit of the Spirit: Galatians 5:22-23, "But the fruit of the [Holy] Spirit [the work which His presence within accomplishes] is love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness, Gentleness (meekness, humility), SELF-CONTROL (SELF-RESTRAINT, CONTINENCE). Against such things there is no law [that can bring a charge]." (AMPC) So just in case reading this brings some conviction, call those people who come to mind, immediately, and apologize and repent. Remember, they were not the cause of your carelessness, You are responsible for You, no matter what anyone else says or does.



Furthermore, we need to be clear about verbal abuse. It’s not just calling people names or cursing people out. But we are commanded not to use any “unwholesome” speech. “Unwholesome” is defined as “unhealthy; corrupt; offensive; not mentally or morally good and normal.” Our words should be used with wisdom so we don’t wound, but instead we help make healthy and whole. 

We are Commanded not to use any “profane” speech. “Profane” is defined as, “to treat (something sacred) with abuse, irreverence, or contempt; to cheapen and demean.” And our “Brothers and Sisters IN CHRIST” (says the Bible) are among what is, sacred…holy…valued at the price of the Blood of Jesus Christ. When you speak to them words that wound, you are wounding Him all over again! You cheapen and demean what He gave His blood and life for! Do you really want to be charged as guilty for that crime?  

We are Commanded to put “clamor” away from us. “Clamor” is defined as “noisy shouting.” So before you attempt to argue about your argument, know that you are to be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger and no noisy shouting allowed! We are to talk TO one another, not AT one another!  

And those are just a few of the Commands we’re given regarding our speech! 

But, while we’re at it, we may as well address a big one in the church regarding our speech and that’s Gossip! What does the Bible say? 

Exodus 23:1-3, “Don’t pass on malicious gossip. “Don’t link up with a wicked person and give corrupt testimony. Don’t go along with the crowd in doing evil and don’t fudge your testimony in a case just to please the crowd...” (MSG);

Leviticus 19:16, “Don’t spread gossip and rumors…” (MSG);

Psalm 41:4-7, “…All the while gathering gossip about me to entertain the street-corner crowd. These ‘friends’ who hate me whisper slanders all over town. They form committees to plan misery for me.” (MSG);

Proverbs 4:23-27, “Keep vigilant watch over your heart; that’s where life starts. Don’t talk out of both sides of your mouth; avoid careless banter, white lies, and gossip. Keep your eyes straight ahead; ignore all sideshow distractions. Watch your step, and the road will stretch out smooth before you. Look neither right nor left; leave evil in the dust.” (MSG);

Proverbs 16:28, “Troublemakers start fights; gossips break up friendships.” (MSG);

Proverbs 17:4, “Evil people relish malicious conversation; the ears of liars itch for dirty gossip.” (MSG);

And that’s just a few Scriptures! But these give us further motivation to be careful of our speech! As Believers, whose Conduct should reflect the Image and Likeness of the Godhead and Christ-Like Character, we need to avoid lies, rumors, gossip, slander, back-biting, cursing, yelling, arguing and the like. 

How can we possibly win the world when we can’t even get along on the same team with our brothers and sisters in Christ?! That’s a tremendous loss for all involved! Remember, our Lifestyle and our Language go hand-in-hand!

Ephesians 5:3-4, “…Though some tongues just love the taste of gossip, those who follow Jesus have better uses for language than that. Don’t talk dirty or silly. That kind of talk doesn’t fit our style. Thanksgiving is our dialect.” (MSG)

King David was wise enough to know that we can't conquer this verbal monster in us without some supernatural intervention. And thus, his prayer that should probably be somewhere we can all see and repeat daily says this:  

Psalm 141, verse 3, "Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips." (NIV) Let’s look at this further:





“Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips [to keep me from speaking thoughtlessly].” (AMP);

“Help me to guard my words whenever I say something.” (CEV);

“Lord, help me control what I say. Don’t let me say anything bad.” (ERV);

“Help me, Lord, to keep my mouth shut and my lips sealed.” (TLB);

“Lord, help me control my tongue; help me to be careful about what I say.” (NCV);

“Take control of what I say, O Lord, and guard my lips.” (NLT);

“Lord, place a guard at my mouth, a sentry at the door of my lips.” (GNT) – That word “sentry” is defined as “a soldier stationed to keep guard or to control access to a place.” This is how serious David was about the guarding of his speech! And a reminder of how serious we should become likewise.

We need to be mindful of the power of our words and their ability to wound. Because long after we've forgotten our "reckless words," the person we wounded may be carrying a long and lasting scar from them.

Think about it like this: when a drunk driver hits someone, they may be sorry, apologetic, and wish they could undue it all. And they may even be forgiven by the person they’ve wounded. But what happens when the person they hit can never walk again? The driver is sorry, the victim is forgiving, but the life-long damage can’t be undone! And our words are just like that. We may be sorry for what we said, and the person may forgive us for what we said, but does that mean the words disappear…sadly no. Which is why we have to be careful of what we say, BEFORE we say it.  

Truth is, there are many psychologists, psychiatrists and even pastors that would have no one to counsel if only we would simply stop speaking careless words. Many people today are sitting in someone’s office reliving at age 60 what was said to them and about them at age 6! And if we had to foot the bill for some people’s counseling sessions for what we’ve said to them and about them, I wonder how much debt we’d owe?  

The good news? We can still name call! God does! And all we have to do is name call, Just Like Him! God calls people names like, "Workmanship" (Ephesians 2:10). He even talks about the way people look, and He’s no respecter of persons because He talks about men and women alike, "Created in Our Image and Likeness…He Created Him; Male and Female He Created Them" (Genesis 1:27). God even assigns worth to people, "My Treasured and Special People and Possession" (Exodus 19:5). He even talks about people’s bodies (a lot like we do), but His words aren’t ‘cutting’, they’re ‘complimentary’, "The Temple of the Living God" (2 Corinthians 6:16). And then He even goes so far as to call people, "My Sons and Daughters" (2 Corinthians 6:18). See, we can talk about people too, we just have to do it like God did! 

So today, make it your personal mission to speak well of yourself and others. Because truth is, some of us have spoken words to ourselves that have wounded us for many years. Let today be the day your speech changes for the better. When speaking to yourself or to others follow the guidelines of Colossians 4:6, “When you talk, you should always be kind and wise…” (ERV)  
Other translations say it like this:

“Everything you say should be kind and well thought out…” (GWT);

“…The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation…” (MSG);

“Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt…” (NIV);

“Speak with them in such a way they will want to listen to you. Do not let your talk sound foolish…” (NLV);

“Let your conversation be gracious and attractive…” (NLT)

People of God, don’t wound (yourself or others) with your words! Instead, allow your words (to yourself and others) to be kind; wise; well thought out; bringing out the best in any conversation; full of grace and seasoned with salt. Allow your words to be so sweet and sound that people want to hear you speak; and allow your words to also be more gracious than your gait and more attractive than you’re appearance. 

And if you should ever be accused of verbal abuse, make sure that the evidence of your lifestyle and language, are so concrete, that you’d be found innocent of all charges!

“Verbal and emotional abuse are just as damaging as physical abuse.” (Author Unknown);

“It’s easier to build up a child than to repair an adult. Your words and actions have power in your child’s life, use them wisely.”;

“Psychological abuse is far worse than physical abuse, after all, cuts and bruises can heal, your mind however holds words for an eternity and they hurt more than any punch or slap, choose your words wisely before you speak, they cannot be taken back once spoken.”;

“If words are not weapons, then why do they hurt so much.”;

“Be careful what you say. You can say something hurtful in ten seconds, but ten years later, the wounds are still there.” (Joel Osteen);

“Just because a person doesn’t put hands on you, that doesn’t mean they aren’t abusive. Abuse is control, blatant disrespect, and also hurtful words. Don’t settle for emotional abuse thinking it’s ok because it’s not physical.” (Tony Gaskins, Jr.) 

Much Love, Dr.Shermaine #InformativeRead #PleaseShare #HealthyBodySoulAndSpirit

"It's Not Selfish to Love Yourself, Take Care of Yourself and to Make Your Happiness a Priority. It's a Necessity." (Mandy Hale)

"Self-Care is Not Selfish. You Cannot Serve From an Empty Vessel." (Eleanor Brown)