“Men, What Are You Saying to Yourself?”

Luke 15:17, “HE began to think about what HE had done. HE said to HIMSELF…” (NLV)
Now, if you’re a dad, somewhere down through the years you’ve heard the command (that sounds like a question or request...but it’s not). It’s the words, "Daddy, would you come and play with me?" As a mom, I can still hear those echoes from when our kids were little. However, a recent doctor’s appointment made me recall those words because of a dad and son. The dad was preoccupied reading his Sunday newspaper - you know, one of the big ones that comes in volumes. Well, his little guy kept tapping on the newspaper and asking his Daddy to play with him. But dad kept giving him little things to do to keep him occupied while he continued to read. Finally, after the last interruption, dad tried a different approach so he would be able to finish his paper. He tore out a page that had a map of the world on it and he ripped it into pieces. He said, "Look, put this puzzle together. And as soon as you've got it finished, I promise I'll come and play." Two minutes later, junior was back tapping on dad's newspaper again. "I'm finished," he said. And there it was - the whole map of the world, together on the floor! I was as shocked as dad was. Then he said, "Son, how did you put that together so fast?" Junior replied: "It was easy, daddy. There was a picture of a man on the other side. When I put the man together right, the world went right!” In my head, all I could think was, “out of the mouths of babes!” And as comical and simple even as that may be, truth is, many are in a particular season of life that’s just like that. Many pieces to the puzzle, scattered everywhere, but if only you could get one piece in place, the rest would take care of themselves. And honestly, right now, maybe there's just a lot of pieces you’re working with at the moment: financial, health, mental, emotional, spiritual, marital, parental, work, church, family. And for most, that list gets longer and longer by the day. For some there’s that inner struggle with who you are and why you're here, what are you supposed to be doing, or where you're going. It's a time of confusion and frustration, maybe even some despair. 
You've been pretty focused on your battles and on your problems. But you may be missing one piece of the puzzle, the baseline issue really. It’s what that little boy said to his dad that may be a key to getting things together for you, “…When I put the man together right, the world went right!” There's a helpful picture of many of us in a story that Jesus told, recorded in Luke 15, beginning with verse 11. It's the story of the Prodigal Son; a guy who was the missing piece to his own life puzzle. Take a listen to his story: 
Luke 15:11-24, “And Jesus said, “There was a man who had two sons.  The younger son said to his father, ‘Father, let me have the part of the family riches that will be coming to me.’ Then the father divided all that he owned between his two sons.  Soon after that the younger son took all that had been given to him and went to another country far away. There he spent all he had on wild and foolish living.  When all his money was spent, he was hungry. There was no food in the land.  He went to work for a man in this far away country. His work was to feed pigs.  He was so hungry he was ready to eat the outside part of the ears of the corn the pigs ate because no one gave him anything. “HE BEGAN TO THINK ABOUT WHAT HE HAD DONE. HE SAID TO HIMSELF, ‘My father pays many men who work for him. They have all the food they want and more than enough. I am about dead because I am so hungry.  I will get up and go to my father. I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you.  I am not good enough to be called your son. But may I be as one of the workmen you pay to work?”’  “The son got up and went to his father. While he was yet a long way off, his father saw him. The father was full of loving-pity for him. He ran and threw his arms around him and kissed him.  The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am not good enough to be called your son.’  But the father said to the workmen he owned, ‘Hurry! Get the best coat and put it on him. Put a ring on his hand and shoes on his feet.  Bring the calf that is fat and kill it. Let us eat and be glad.  For my son was dead and now he is alive again. He was lost and now he is found. Let us eat and have a good time.’ (NLV) 
The portion I pray encourages my brothers is this, “When he came to his senses" - or "when he came to himself". The New Living Version says it like this: “…HE BEGAN TO THINK ABOUT WHAT HE HAD DONE. HE SAID TO HIMSELF…” That young man probably thought of every possible reason for his predicament except the real one - HIMSELF. That's where your answer will begin as well. Truth is, all of us have a tendency to lay blame for how our lives have turned out…except laying that blame on our own front door, and better still, in our own lap! Because then we would have to take accountability and responsibility for our choices, consequences and change. Which means, you’d have to get past what your spouse or your kids or your parents or your coworkers, church folks, or other people have done or said. And instead, look in the mirror and clear up the vision of the man you distorted. 
James 1:22-24, “Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you are a listener when you are anything but, letting the Word go in one ear and out the other. Act on what you hear! Those who hear and don’t act are like those who glance in the mirror, walk away, and two minutes later have no idea who they are, what they look like.” (MSG)
And haven’t you done that long enough? How many additional years are you going to see your flaws in your reflection in the mirror, point them out, but never acknowledge them enough to fix them? It’s not that you don’t know what to do, it’s that you haven’t done it! And what's the danger in that? Well, the Bible says, "Remember, it is SIN to know what you ought to do and then not do it." (James 4:17 NLT)
Could it be that you're the puzzle that needs putting together – and more than that, you are the missing piece to the puzzle? The prodigal son never lies to himself. He doesn’t make any attempt to retell his story in a more favorable light. He doesn’t point fingers, accuse anyone else, or lay blame. “…HE BEGAN TO THINK ABOUT WHAT HE HAD DONE. HE SAID TO HIMSELF…”
As comical as it may sound, maybe today is a good day to have a little talk with yourself…and Your Father! The prodigal son did and so did David:

“Generous in love—God, give grace! Huge in mercy—wipe out my bad record. Scrub away my guilt, soak out my sins in Your laundry. I know how bad I’ve been; my sins are staring me down. You’re the One I’ve violated, and You’ve seen it all, seen the full extent of my evil. You have all the facts before You; whatever You decide about me is fair. I’ve been out of step with You for a long time, in the wrong since before I was born. What You’re after is truth from the inside out. Enter me, then; conceive a new, true life. Soak me in Your laundry and I’ll come out clean, scrub me and I’ll have a snow-white life. Tune me in to foot-tapping songs, set these once-broken bones to dancing. Don’t look too close for blemishes, give me a clean bill of health. God, make a fresh start in me, shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life. Don’t throw me out with the trash, or fail to breathe holiness in me. Bring me back from gray exile, put a fresh wind in my sails! Give me a job teaching rebels your ways so the lost can find their way home. Commute my death sentence, God, my salvation God, and I’ll sing anthems to Your life-giving ways. Unbutton my lips, dear God; I’ll let loose with Your praise. Going through the motions doesn’t please You, a flawless performance is nothing to You. I learned God-worship when my pride was shattered. Heart-shattered lives ready for love don’t for a moment escape God’s notice…” (Psalm 51:1-17 MSG)

Like the Prodigal Son and David, are you yet ready to acknowledge that the problem and the answer just may be YOU?

What I love about the prodigal son and David is that neither tried to make their mess look good. Neither put a, ‘if they didn’t; or if she would have; or if he had only’, spin on it. Nope…God it’s ME and only ME. It’s the way I’ve handled my spouse, my children, my finances, my health, my education, my missed opportunities, my ministry. It’s the way I handled the pressure, the challenges, the struggles, the temptation, the sin. I was the one to pick up the bottle, to pop the pills, to smoke, to lie, to cheat, to steal. I was the one to allow the intimidation, fear, laziness and procrastination to hinder me. I was the one who didn’t give it greater effort. I was the one who didn’t try. I messed up, I made the mistake, I got it wrong, it was my fault. “…HE BEGAN TO THINK ABOUT WHAT HE HAD DONE. HE SAID TO HIMSELF…”

That’s not weak or depressing, it’s honest. And that honesty will lead you back to your Father who is waiting to help you. Jeremiah 33:3, “This is God’s Message, the God who made earth, made it livable and lasting, known everywhere as God: ‘Call to Me and I will answer you. I’ll tell you marvelous and wondrous things that you could never figure out on your own.” (MSG) Your Father is waiting patiently by the phone of prayer, when are you going to call so He can answer?

As it is, there are some prayers that He loves you enough to answer, Even Before You Finish Praying! Isaiah 65:24, “I will answer their prayers before they finish praying.” (CEV) The Living Bible says it like this: “I will answer them before they even call to Me. While they are still talking to Me about their needs, I will go ahead and answer their prayers!” (TLB)

That’s how much your Father loves you! So, what are you waiting for? Not even the prodigal son with all of his mess could cause his father to love him any less. And likewise, there’s nothing you’ve done that could make your Father love you any less. His love does not work on a merit system. You don’t deserve it, nor do you work for it. He loves you regardless of anything. So let today be the day that you look in the mirror and began to work on the flaws you see in your own reflection.

Think about it: No one ever held up an incomplete puzzle and said yay, it’s done! Look at how beautiful it is! No, the puzzle needs to have all the pieces in their rightful places to complete the full picture. And you need to do the same for your life. You are your own missing piece. And much like that father and son in the doctor’s office, if you would simply get the ‘man’ right, the world would get right too. Maybe the only thing that’s really missing from your marriage is getting You right. Maybe the only thing missing from your dreams being fulfilled is getting You right. Maybe the promotion would come as soon as You get You right. Maybe when you become a better steward over the finances you already have, increase would come, as soon as You get You right!

So many are walking around as just a shell of a man. And all because they won’t put in the needed effort to fix and fill the inner man. Get the man right, and the world will be right. But you have to get the Man right first! And that will take work! Which means you have to put on your overalls, work-boots and strap on your tool belt! This will require some demolition and remodeling and rebuilding and no construction site has ever looked pretty! So, you’re not going to enjoy some of the ugly parts of you that you have to acknowledge in order to improve.

For instance, can you imagine repairing a house, but skipping over the area that’s termite infested? What will be the point of ignoring an ugly area, while beautifying the rest? Eventually that ugly will come to the surface and sink everything you constructed! Or dare we ignore the bird’s nest that they have so comfortably built in the attic?! Or should we just not go in the basement if we don’t want to see the rats in hiding? In a nutshell: It’s dangerous to only work on the areas of your life that you ‘like’. If you are to be a better you, then it will require you being very honest with and about the real you! Maybe your tempter, attitude, and belittling and condescending ways need a hammer and nail! Maybe your critical speech and pessimistic outlook could use a fresh coating of kindness. Maybe your bad choices need a light change. Maybe your lack of trust, your insecurity, your fears, your childhood issues left unresolved for years, is the actual cause, and not everybody else. “…HE BEGAN TO THINK ABOUT WHAT HE HAD DONE. HE SAID TO HIMSELF…”

This is where you need to find yourself today, in Room A giving yourself a Self-Examination!

Matthew 23:26, “You [spiritually] blind Pharisee, first clean the inside of the cup and of the plate [EXAMINE AND CHANGE YOUR INNER SELF TO CONFORM TO GOD’S PRECEPTS], so that the outside [your public life and deeds] may be clean also.” (AMP);

1 Corinthians 11:28, “But a person must [prayerfully] EXAMINE HIMSELF [and his relationship to Christ], and only when he has done so should he eat of the bread and drink of the cup.” (AMP);

2 Corinthians 13:5, “TEST AND EVALUATE YOURSELVES to see whether you are in the faith and living your lives as [committed] believers. EXAMINE YOURSELVES [not me]! OR DO YOU NOT RECOGNIZE THIS ABOUT YOURSELVES [by an ongoing experience] that Jesus Christ is in you – unless indeed you fail the test and are rejected as counterfeit?” (AMP)

YOU have to work on YOU if YOU want to see a better YOU!  Repeat That At the Start of Every Morning, While Looking in the Mirror and Grooming Yourself for the Day, Remind Yourself: YOU have to work on YOU if YOU want to see a better YOU! 

Treat your self-examination like your annual physicals. It’s vital to make sure you go to the doctor and get yourself checked out Before anything happens. Likewise, you need to check yourself out daily [attitudes; motives; intentions; behavior; speech; heart] Before anything happens! Make all the necessary adjustments to make your life better.

And you may not like this, but also listen to what others say about you. And to be clear, listen to those who have your best interest at heart. Some of the people you think are just nagging you are really trying to help you. People who call you on the carpet about the way you act, talk, dress, behave, should be heard. If all you have in your inner-circle is people patting you on the back, but none kicking you in the butt, you’re in trouble. Allow people in your circle that don’t agree with everything you say and do; allow people who will tell you to your face that you’re wrong; allow people who will chastise, correct and rebuke you; allow people who will not allow you to live any kind of way (in public or in private); allow people who prick your heart when they know you’re living beneath a better version of yourself; allow people who disagree with you; allow people who don’t always see eye-to-eye with you; allow people who address your pride; arrogance; conceit; self-centeredness; selfishness; pettiness; jealousy; coveting and envy; allow people who attack your habits and addictions; allow people who will snatch that fried chicken out of your hand and tell you to get your behind to the gym; allow people who keep your character, integrity, dignity and reputation accountable; allow people who will pull you off to the side to discipline you, but also allow those who don’t care two cents about the crowd, but about your character and so they will rebuke you openly; allow people who make you change for the better, not those who help you conform to the good enough.

In all of this, it is up to You and only You to put the work in necessary for Your improvement.

Brothers, I know this was a hard one for you today, and sisters whatever brothers you share this with will not likely buy you flowers and say thank you…lol…but medicine that’s good for you rarely ever tastes good to you! And my job is not to only inspire, but to also educate and empower you to change for the better. And that can’t always be with wonderful words of poetry! Even God Himself chastises those whom He loves. 

Listen, no one who means you well will desire that you remain the same…not even you! So let today’s devotional be the kick in the butt you need to change direction. You’ve traveled as far down this dead-end street as you can go before crashing. Stop today, turn and change. Isn’t that what repentance is all about? And that’s exactly what you’re going to do. Repent…to yourself for blaming everybody else, except you. Address and acknowledge your wrongs and flaws, and determine to turn from them, change and head in a different and better direction.

When you get the man right, you’ll get the man’s world right! You are the only missing piece to your happiness. Get yourself in place so you can see the wonderful completed picture of what God has been trying to reveal to you. The life you’ve always wanted will all fall in place just as soon as you get the missing piece in place…which is YOU!

"Whenever God means to make a man great, He always breaks him in pieces first." (Charles Spurgeon)

"The good man is the man who, no matter how morally unworthy he has been, is moving to become better." (John Dewey)

"If you can feel like a good man in your 40's, you can feel like a better man in your 50's, a Superman in your 60's, and maybe a Spider-Man in your 70's." (Tom Hanks)

"Circumstances do not make a man, they reveal him." (Dr. Wayne Walter Dyer)

"If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals." (J.K. Rowling)

"The mirror of a man's heart is his actions." (Dr. Doug Weiss)

"There are no great men, only great challenges that ordinary men are forced by circumstances to meet." (William F. Halsey)

"A man must be BIG enough to admit his mistakes, SMART enough to profit from them, and STRONG enough to correct them." (John C. Maxwell)

"No man can tell whether he is rich or poor by turning to his ledger. It is the heart that makes a man rich. He is rich according to what he is, not according to what he has." (Henry Ward Beecher)

"The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively." (Bob Marley)

Much Love, Dr.Shermaine #InformativeRead #PleaseShare #HealthyBodySoulAndSpirit #IWantYou2LiveWell #FeelFree2SignUpAndFollow

"It's Not Selfish to Love Yourself, Take Care of Yourself and to Make Your Happiness a Priority. It's a Necessity." (Mandy Hale)

"Self-Care is Not Selfish. You Cannot Serve From an Empty Vessel." (Eleanor Brown)

"Are You Guilty of Verbal Abuse?"

Ephesians 4:31, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor [perpetual animosity, resentment, strife, fault-finding] and slander be put away from you, along with every kind of malice [all spitefulness, verbal abuse, malevolence].” (AMP)
  I love children! But if you ask my children, they will probably tell you that’s because I’ve yet to grow up myself! My eldest daughter often reminds me that I love children and they love me, 'because we’re all the same age…mentally! They relate to you because you relate to them, ma'! Which may hold a tad bit of truth actually! You see, I love board games, jumping rope, running through the house, playing on the swings, watching cartoons, blowing bubbles in my milk, dancing to any kind of music (even the music in my head that no one else hears but me), playing with puppies, wearing ponytails, coloring in coloring books (outside the lines of course), and I think I have more teddy-bear’s than ‘Build-a-Bear’! In a nutshell, yep, I believe I love children because I’m still one of them! But it’s also my love of children that has always made me over-protective of them. As a child, I had some unfortunate moments happen to me that should never happen to any child, and so where kids are concerned, I’m a little overly-sensitive. 
In relation to that, another reason I’m this way is because of a little girl, I didn’t even know. A friend of mine who’s a police officer told me of his worst case on the job. He said it was the day we were called to a home, and the first person to greet us was a 5 year old little girl. We walked up to her sitting on the front porch and introduced ourselves. But when we asked her, her name, her response is what blew us away. She responded, "my name is Stupid." She's only 5 years old, but when they were sent to respond to a report of child abuse, that's what she told them “my name is Stupid”. The marks of abuse were all over her little body. There were bruises everywhere, she had a black eye, she had scars on her back, she had cigarette burns up and down her little arms. And as grave as all of that sounds, those will heal in time. But what about the names she's been called? Would she ever heal from the wounds of words? Can you imagine being called ‘Stupid’ so often in just a span of 5 short years, that you actually think "Stupid" is your name?
But wait…before you pass judgment…think about this! What about the names we've called people? Yes, us, believers, the church, disciples of Christ, children of the Most High God. What about the names we've called people? Even people - maybe especially people - that we say we love. How many people we know carry invisible, but indelible scars from being wounded by our own devastating words? And more often than not, it's not that we necessarily meant to hurt them. Sometimes, we’re honestly just angry, or frustrated, or stressed, or feeling unheard, unloved, unappreciated, taken for granted, used, or ignored. And as our emotions escalate, so often do our words. And words are like bullets. Once they're fired, you can't get them back. You can’t stop the bullet. You can’t stop its impact. You can’t stop its damage. You can’t dismiss the discharge.
And we all know that's true. Many of us still feel the sting of the names we were called a long time ago? Even though the one who fired them at us has probably totally forgotten it. In fact, some of us still replay those words and it’s like an automatic weapon is firing off rapid bullets into our soul, self-esteem and self-worth: ‘Stupid; Idiot; Dummy; Ugly; Fat; Useless, Nappy-Head; Pimple-Face; Loser; Fatso; Bean-Pole; Giraffe; Shrimp…’. All these years later, those bullets still pierce our heart as though it were yesterday. And truth be told, some of those bullets were fired off, just yesterday. Some of them Towards Us, and some of them From Us.
And sad as it is to say, it's often our children who are most damaged by our hurtful words, because children tend to become what we call them. Label them as "lazy" or "stupid" or "worthless" long enough, and it will stick. But then, so will words like, "princess", “gentleman” or "smart" or "helper" or "wonderful." Think about it: If your child/children turned out to be what you’ve called them all these years, would you be Elated or Embarrassed?
  And to add insult to injury, our kids also store what they hear their parents call each other in those heated moments; giving them tacit permission to speak disrespectfully in their own relationships, too. Your precious little girl and priceless little boy won’t always be little, but if you don’t teach them better by example, they will always be immature. You don’t want your speech in heated moments to be the blueprint your children use in building up or tearing down their own relationships and marriages. Just think, what your son hears you call your wife will teach him what to call his one day. What your daughter hears you call your husband will teach her what to call hers one day. So, have they been hearing the right names called? Has your speech been setting the proper example to be imitated?
  But families are not the only place our words leave wounds. Proverbs 18:21 says, "The tongue has the power of life and death…", at school, at work, at the game, in church, in the mall, at the laundromat, in the supermarket, at the barbershop, at the nail and hair salons, at the bank, stuck in traffic, in all our close relationships. Everywhere you go, you are armed and dangerous with the power of your tongue! So, is your weapon saving lives or taking them? If people bled physically every time we wounded them verbally, I wonder what a trail we'd leave behind. How many people are walking around bleeding internally because of what we said verbally? Is someone now thinking they’re worthless; damaged goods; not good enough; not thin enough; not pretty enough. Is someone now feeling less than; insignificant; inadequate, because of the wounds of our words? Is someone second-guessing themselves; intimidated; insecure, because our words have wounded and handicapped their confidence? 
And just in case you don’t think our words are that powerful, listen to the translations of Proverbs 12:18: “Sharp words cut like a sword, but words of wisdom heal.” (CEV);
“Thoughtless words can wound as deeply as any sword, but wisely spoken words can heal.” (GNT);
“Speak without thinking, and your words can cut like a knife. Be wise, and your words can heal.” (ERV);
“Careless words stab like a sword, but the words of wise people bring healing.” (GWT);
“Some people like to make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise soothe and heal.” (TLB);
“Rash language cuts and maims, but there is healing in the words of the wise.” (MSG);
“The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” (NIV);
“There is one whose foolish words cut like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” (NLV)
The one thing we cannot deny is the fact that whether our words hurt or heal is our deliberate choice. We can blame no one for the words we choose to use to wound others. And we cannot use the excuse that they brought it out of us; they deserved it; they’ll get over it; or but what about what they said to me. No, we are responsible and accountable for our own actions, words, attitude and behavior. We don’t get to point fingers or play the blame game. When our words, “cut; stab and maim”, it was no accident. Their wounds from our words are our fault. Which is why we have to be ever so careful of our speech.  The Scripture clearly contrasts the speech of the Wise and the Fool. The wise give words that “soothe and bring healing”; the fool speaks words that “cut like a sword.” So have your words been wise or foolish? Have your words been hurting or healing? God puts it this way, "And among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself" (James 3:6 NLT). The Message Bible says it like this: “It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell.” (MSG) Now, do you really think we can afford to take our speech so lightly? Our tongue is set on fire from the pit of hell and possesses the power to destroy our entire life and the entire world! Getting a better grip on our lip is vital not optional!  
Which is why we need to learn how to use our ears more than our mouths: “Understand this, my beloved brothers and sisters. Let everyone be quick to hear [be a careful, thoughtful listener], slow to speak [a speaker of carefully chosen words and], slow to anger [patient, reflective, forgiving]” (James 1:19 AMP) The Message Bible says it like this: “Post this at all the intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear…” (MSG). And if you think about it, if we would listen more and talk less, anger would always straggle behind. The word “straggle” is defined as “to trail slowly behind.” If we would be quick to listen and slow to speak, our anger would control its own gauge.
Which reminds me of yet another Scripture we need to keep on our lips BEFORE we speak: 
Ephesians 4:26-32, “Be angry [at sin—at immorality, at injustice, at ungodly behavior], yet do not sin; do not let your anger [cause you shame, nor allow it to] last until the sun goes down.  And do not give the devil an opportunity [to lead you into sin by holding a grudge, or nurturing anger, or harboring resentment, or cultivating bitterness]…Do not let unwholesome [foul, profane, worthless, vulgar] words EVER come out of your mouth, but ONLY  such speech as is good for building up others, according to the need and the occasion, so that it will be a blessing to those who hear [you speak].  And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God [but seek to please Him], by whom you were sealed and marked [branded as God’s own] for the day of redemption [the final deliverance from the consequences of sin].  Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor [perpetual animosity, resentment, strife, fault-finding] and slander be put away from you, along with every kind of malice [all spitefulness, verbal abuse, malevolence].  Be kind and helpful to one another, tender-hearted [compassionate, understanding], forgiving one another [readily and freely], just as God in Christ also forgave you.” (AMP) Even when you’re angry for justifiable reasons, your anger and words are still your responsibility. There is no excuse you can use for wounding others with your words, not even when angry. Especially when we, believers, possess the fruit of the Spirit: Galatians 5:22-23, "But the fruit of the [Holy] Spirit [the work which His presence within accomplishes] is love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness, Gentleness (meekness, humility), SELF-CONTROL (SELF-RESTRAINT, CONTINENCE). Against such things there is no law [that can bring a charge]." (AMPC) So just in case reading this brings some conviction, call those people who come to mind, immediately, and apologize and repent. Remember, they were not the cause of your carelessness, You are responsible for You, no matter what anyone else says or does.
Furthermore, we need to be clear about verbal abuse. It’s not just calling people names or cursing people out. But we are commanded not to use any “unwholesome” speech. “Unwholesome” is defined as “unhealthy; corrupt; offensive; not mentally or morally good and normal.” Our words should be used with wisdom so we don’t wound, but instead we help make healthy and whole. 
We are Commanded not to use any “profane” speech. “Profane” is defined as, “to treat (something sacred) with abuse, irreverence, or contempt; to cheapen and demean.” And our “Brothers and Sisters IN CHRIST” (says the Bible) are among what is, sacred…holy…valued at the price of the Blood of Jesus Christ. When you speak to them words that wound, you are wounding Him all over again! You cheapen and demean what He gave His blood and life for! Do you really want to be charged as guilty for that crime?  
We are Commanded to put “clamor” away from us. “Clamor” is defined as “noisy shouting.” So before you attempt to argue about your argument, know that you are to be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger and no noisy shouting allowed! We are to talk TO one another, not AT one another!  
And those are just a few of the Commands we’re given regarding our speech! 
But, while we’re at it, we may as well address a big one in the church regarding our speech and that’s Gossip! What does the Bible say? 
Exodus 23:1-3, “Don’t pass on malicious gossip. “Don’t link up with a wicked person and give corrupt testimony. Don’t go along with the crowd in doing evil and don’t fudge your testimony in a case just to please the crowd...” (MSG);
Leviticus 19:16, “Don’t spread gossip and rumors…” (MSG); Psalm 41:4-7, “…All the while gathering gossip about me to entertain the street-corner crowd. These ‘friends’ who hate me whisper slanders all over town. They form committees to plan misery for me.” (MSG); Proverbs 4:23-27, “Keep vigilant watch over your heart; that’s where life starts. Don’t talk out of both sides of your mouth; avoid careless banter, white lies, and gossip. Keep your eyes straight ahead; ignore all sideshow distractions. Watch your step, and the road will stretch out smooth before you. Look neither right nor left; leave evil in the dust.” (MSG);
Proverbs 16:28, “Troublemakers start fights; gossips break up friendships.” (MSG); Proverbs 17:4, “Evil people relish malicious conversation; the ears of liars itch for dirty gossip.” (MSG); And that’s just a few Scriptures! But these give us further motivation to be careful of our speech! As Believers, whose Conduct should reflect the Image and Likeness of the Godhead and Christ-Like Character, we need to avoid lies, rumors, gossip, slander, back-biting, cursing, yelling, arguing and the like. 
How can we possibly win the world when we can’t even get along on the same team with our brothers and sisters in Christ?! That’s a tremendous loss for all involved! Remember, our Lifestyle and our Language go hand-in-hand! Ephesians 5:3-4, “…Though some tongues just love the taste of gossip, those who follow Jesus have better uses for language than that. Don’t talk dirty or silly. That kind of talk doesn’t fit our style. Thanksgiving is our dialect.” (MSG)
King David was wise enough to know that we can't conquer this verbal monster in us without some supernatural intervention. And thus, his prayer that should probably be somewhere we can all see and repeat daily says this:  
Psalm 141, verse 3, "Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips." (NIV) Let’s look at this further:
“Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips [to keep me from speaking thoughtlessly].” (AMP);
“Help me to guard my words whenever I say something.” (CEV);
“Lord, help me control what I say. Don’t let me say anything bad.” (ERV);
“Help me, Lord, to keep my mouth shut and my lips sealed.” (TLB);
“Lord, help me control my tongue; help me to be careful about what I say.” (NCV);
“Take control of what I say, O Lord, and guard my lips.” (NLT);
“Lord, place a guard at my mouth, a sentry at the door of my lips.” (GNT) – That word “sentry” is defined as “a soldier stationed to keep guard or to control access to a place.” This is how serious David was about the guarding of his speech! And a reminder of how serious we should become likewise. We need to be mindful of the power of our words and their ability to wound. Because long after we've forgotten our "reckless words," the person we wounded may be carrying a long and lasting scar from them.
Think about it like this: when a drunk driver hits someone, they may be sorry, apologetic, and wish they could undue it all. And they may even be forgiven by the person they’ve wounded. But what happens when the person they hit can never walk again? The driver is sorry, the victim is forgiving, but the life-long damage can’t be undone! And our words are just like that. We may be sorry for what we said, and the person may forgive us for what we said, but does that mean the words disappear…sadly no. Which is why we have to be careful of what we say, BEFORE we say it.  
Truth is, there are many psychologists, psychiatrists and even pastors that would have no one to counsel if only we would simply stop speaking careless words. Many people today are sitting in someone’s office reliving at age 60 what was said to them and about them at age 6! And if we had to foot the bill for some people’s counseling sessions for what we’ve said to them and about them, I wonder how much debt we’d owe?  
The good news? We can still name call! God does! And all we have to do is name call, Just Like Him! God calls people names like, "Workmanship" (Ephesians 2:10). He even talks about the way people look, and He’s no respecter of persons because He talks about men and women alike, "Created in Our Image and Likeness…He Created Him; Male and Female He Created Them" (Genesis 1:27). God even assigns worth to people, "My Treasured and Special People and Possession" (Exodus 19:5). He even talks about people’s bodies (a lot like we do), but His words aren’t ‘cutting’, they’re ‘complimentary’, "The Temple of the Living God" (2 Corinthians 6:16). And then He even goes so far as to call people, "My Sons and Daughters" (2 Corinthians 6:18). See, we can talk about people too, we just have to do it like God did! 
So today, make it your personal mission to speak well of yourself and others. Because truth is, some of us have spoken words to ourselves that have wounded us for many years. Let today be the day your speech changes for the better. When speaking to yourself or to others follow the guidelines of Colossians 4:6, “When you talk, you should always be kind and wise…” (ERV)   Other translations say it like this:
“Everything you say should be kind and well thought out…” (GWT);
“…The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation…” (MSG);
“Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt…” (NIV);
“Speak with them in such a way they will want to listen to you. Do not let your talk sound foolish…” (NLV);
“Let your conversation be gracious and attractive…” (NLT)
People of God, don’t wound (yourself or others) with your words! Instead, allow your words (to yourself and others) to be kind; wise; well thought out; bringing out the best in any conversation; full of grace and seasoned with salt. Allow your words to be so sweet and sound that people want to hear you speak; and allow your words to also be more gracious than your gait and more attractive than you’re appearance. 
And if you should ever be accused of verbal abuse, make sure that the evidence of your lifestyle and language, are so concrete, that you’d be found innocent of all charges!

“Verbal and emotional abuse are just as damaging as physical abuse.” (Author Unknown);

“It’s easier to build up a child than to repair an adult. Your words and actions have power in your child’s life, use them wisely.” (Author Unknown);

“Psychological abuse is far worse than physical abuse, after all, cuts and bruises can heal, your mind however holds words for an eternity and they hurt more than any punch or slap, choose your words wisely before you speak, they cannot be taken back once spoken.” (Author Unknown);

“If words are not weapons, then why do they hurt so much.” (Author Unknown);

“Be careful what you say. You can say something hurtful in ten seconds, but ten years later, the wounds are still there.” (Joel Osteen);

“Just because a person doesn’t put hands on you, that doesn’t mean they aren’t abusive. Abuse is control, blatant disrespect, and also hurtful words. Don’t settle for emotional abuse thinking it’s okay because it’s not physical.” (Tony Gaskins, Jr.) 

 

  Much Love, Dr. Shermaine #EnjoyTheRead #BeInspired #BeEncouraged #BeEmpowered #BeChallenged #ShareTheWord
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