“Men, What Are You Saying to Yourself?”

Luke 15:17, “HE began to think about what HE had done. HE said to HIMSELF…” (NLV)
Now, if you’re a dad, somewhere down through the years you’ve heard the command (that sounds like a question or request...but it’s not). It’s the words, "Daddy, would you come and play with me?" As a mom, I can still hear those echoes from when our kids were little. However, a recent doctor’s appointment made me recall those words because of a dad and son. The dad was preoccupied reading his Sunday newspaper - you know, one of the big ones that comes in volumes. Well, his little guy kept tapping on the newspaper and asking his Daddy to play with him. But dad kept giving him little things to do to keep him occupied while he continued to read. Finally, after the last interruption, dad tried a different approach so he would be able to finish his paper. He tore out a page that had a map of the world on it and he ripped it into pieces. He said, "Look, put this puzzle together. And as soon as you've got it finished, I promise I'll come and play." Two minutes later, junior was back tapping on dad's newspaper again. "I'm finished," he said. And there it was - the whole map of the world, together on the floor! I was as shocked as dad was. Then he said, "Son, how did you put that together so fast?" Junior replied: "It was easy, daddy. There was a picture of a man on the other side. When I put the man together right, the world went right!” In my head, all I could think was, “out of the mouths of babes!” And as comical and simple even as that may be, truth is, many are in a particular season of life that’s just like that. Many pieces to the puzzle, scattered everywhere, but if only you could get one piece in place, the rest would take care of themselves. And honestly, right now, maybe there's just a lot of pieces you’re working with at the moment: financial, health, mental, emotional, spiritual, marital, parental, work, church, family. And for most, that list gets longer and longer by the day. For some there’s that inner struggle with who you are and why you're here, what are you supposed to be doing, or where you're going. It's a time of confusion and frustration, maybe even some despair. 
You've been pretty focused on your battles and on your problems. But you may be missing one piece of the puzzle, the baseline issue really. It’s what that little boy said to his dad that may be a key to getting things together for you, “…When I put the man together right, the world went right!” There's a helpful picture of many of us in a story that Jesus told, recorded in Luke 15, beginning with verse 11. It's the story of the Prodigal Son; a guy who was the missing piece to his own life puzzle. Take a listen to his story: 
Luke 15:11-24, “And Jesus said, “There was a man who had two sons.  The younger son said to his father, ‘Father, let me have the part of the family riches that will be coming to me.’ Then the father divided all that he owned between his two sons.  Soon after that the younger son took all that had been given to him and went to another country far away. There he spent all he had on wild and foolish living.  When all his money was spent, he was hungry. There was no food in the land.  He went to work for a man in this far away country. His work was to feed pigs.  He was so hungry he was ready to eat the outside part of the ears of the corn the pigs ate because no one gave him anything. “HE BEGAN TO THINK ABOUT WHAT HE HAD DONE. HE SAID TO HIMSELF, ‘My father pays many men who work for him. They have all the food they want and more than enough. I am about dead because I am so hungry.  I will get up and go to my father. I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you.  I am not good enough to be called your son. But may I be as one of the workmen you pay to work?”’  “The son got up and went to his father. While he was yet a long way off, his father saw him. The father was full of loving-pity for him. He ran and threw his arms around him and kissed him.  The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am not good enough to be called your son.’  But the father said to the workmen he owned, ‘Hurry! Get the best coat and put it on him. Put a ring on his hand and shoes on his feet.  Bring the calf that is fat and kill it. Let us eat and be glad.  For my son was dead and now he is alive again. He was lost and now he is found. Let us eat and have a good time.’ (NLV) 
The portion I pray encourages my brothers is this, “When he came to his senses" - or "when he came to himself". The New Living Version says it like this: “…HE BEGAN TO THINK ABOUT WHAT HE HAD DONE. HE SAID TO HIMSELF…” That young man probably thought of every possible reason for his predicament except the real one - HIMSELF. That's where your answer will begin as well. Truth is, all of us have a tendency to lay blame for how our lives have turned out…except laying that blame on our own front door, and better still, in our own lap! Because then we would have to take accountability and responsibility for our choices, consequences and change. Which means, you’d have to get past what your spouse or your kids or your parents or your coworkers, church folks, or other people have done or said. And instead, look in the mirror and clear up the vision of the man you distorted. 
James 1:22-24, “Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you are a listener when you are anything but, letting the Word go in one ear and out the other. Act on what you hear! Those who hear and don’t act are like those who glance in the mirror, walk away, and two minutes later have no idea who they are, what they look like.” (MSG)
And haven’t you done that long enough? How many additional years are you going to see your flaws in your reflection in the mirror, point them out, but never acknowledge them enough to fix them? It’s not that you don’t know what to do, it’s that you haven’t done it! And what's the danger in that? Well, the Bible says, "Remember, it is SIN to know what you ought to do and then not do it." (James 4:17 NLT)
Could it be that you're the puzzle that needs putting together – and more than that, you are the missing piece to the puzzle? The prodigal son never lies to himself. He doesn’t make any attempt to retell his story in a more favorable light. He doesn’t point fingers, accuse anyone else, or lay blame. “…HE BEGAN TO THINK ABOUT WHAT HE HAD DONE. HE SAID TO HIMSELF…”
As comical as it may sound, maybe today is a good day to have a little talk with yourself…and Your Father! The prodigal son did and so did David:

“Generous in love—God, give grace! Huge in mercy—wipe out my bad record. Scrub away my guilt, soak out my sins in Your laundry. I know how bad I’ve been; my sins are staring me down. You’re the One I’ve violated, and You’ve seen it all, seen the full extent of my evil. You have all the facts before You; whatever You decide about me is fair. I’ve been out of step with You for a long time, in the wrong since before I was born. What You’re after is truth from the inside out. Enter me, then; conceive a new, true life. Soak me in Your laundry and I’ll come out clean, scrub me and I’ll have a snow-white life. Tune me in to foot-tapping songs, set these once-broken bones to dancing. Don’t look too close for blemishes, give me a clean bill of health. God, make a fresh start in me, shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life. Don’t throw me out with the trash, or fail to breathe holiness in me. Bring me back from gray exile, put a fresh wind in my sails! Give me a job teaching rebels your ways so the lost can find their way home. Commute my death sentence, God, my salvation God, and I’ll sing anthems to Your life-giving ways. Unbutton my lips, dear God; I’ll let loose with Your praise. Going through the motions doesn’t please You, a flawless performance is nothing to You. I learned God-worship when my pride was shattered. Heart-shattered lives ready for love don’t for a moment escape God’s notice…” (Psalm 51:1-17 MSG)

Like the Prodigal Son and David, are you yet ready to acknowledge that the problem and the answer just may be YOU?

What I love about the prodigal son and David is that neither tried to make their mess look good. Neither put a, ‘if they didn’t; or if she would have; or if he had only’, spin on it. Nope…God it’s ME and only ME. It’s the way I’ve handled my spouse, my children, my finances, my health, my education, my missed opportunities, my ministry. It’s the way I handled the pressure, the challenges, the struggles, the temptation, the sin. I was the one to pick up the bottle, to pop the pills, to smoke, to lie, to cheat, to steal. I was the one to allow the intimidation, fear, laziness and procrastination to hinder me. I was the one who didn’t give it greater effort. I was the one who didn’t try. I messed up, I made the mistake, I got it wrong, it was my fault. “…HE BEGAN TO THINK ABOUT WHAT HE HAD DONE. HE SAID TO HIMSELF…”

That’s not weak or depressing, it’s honest. And that honesty will lead you back to your Father who is waiting to help you. Jeremiah 33:3, “This is God’s Message, the God who made earth, made it livable and lasting, known everywhere as God: ‘Call to Me and I will answer you. I’ll tell you marvelous and wondrous things that you could never figure out on your own.” (MSG) Your Father is waiting patiently by the phone of prayer, when are you going to call so He can answer?

As it is, there are some prayers that He loves you enough to answer, Even Before You Finish Praying! Isaiah 65:24, “I will answer their prayers before they finish praying.” (CEV) The Living Bible says it like this: “I will answer them before they even call to Me. While they are still talking to Me about their needs, I will go ahead and answer their prayers!” (TLB)

That’s how much your Father loves you! So, what are you waiting for? Not even the prodigal son with all of his mess could cause his father to love him any less. And likewise, there’s nothing you’ve done that could make your Father love you any less. His love does not work on a merit system. You don’t deserve it, nor do you work for it. He loves you regardless of anything. So let today be the day that you look in the mirror and began to work on the flaws you see in your own reflection.

Think about it: No one ever held up an incomplete puzzle and said yay, it’s done! Look at how beautiful it is! No, the puzzle needs to have all the pieces in their rightful places to complete the full picture. And you need to do the same for your life. You are your own missing piece. And much like that father and son in the doctor’s office, if you would simply get the ‘man’ right, the world would get right too. Maybe the only thing that’s really missing from your marriage is getting You right. Maybe the only thing missing from your dreams being fulfilled is getting You right. Maybe the promotion would come as soon as You get You right. Maybe when you become a better steward over the finances you already have, increase would come, as soon as You get You right!

So many are walking around as just a shell of a man. And all because they won’t put in the needed effort to fix and fill the inner man. Get the man right, and the world will be right. But you have to get the Man right first! And that will take work! Which means you have to put on your overalls, work-boots and strap on your tool belt! This will require some demolition and remodeling and rebuilding and no construction site has ever looked pretty! So, you’re not going to enjoy some of the ugly parts of you that you have to acknowledge in order to improve.

For instance, can you imagine repairing a house, but skipping over the area that’s termite infested? What will be the point of ignoring an ugly area, while beautifying the rest? Eventually that ugly will come to the surface and sink everything you constructed! Or dare we ignore the bird’s nest that they have so comfortably built in the attic?! Or should we just not go in the basement if we don’t want to see the rats in hiding? In a nutshell: It’s dangerous to only work on the areas of your life that you ‘like’. If you are to be a better you, then it will require you being very honest with and about the real you! Maybe your tempter, attitude, and belittling and condescending ways need a hammer and nail! Maybe your critical speech and pessimistic outlook could use a fresh coating of kindness. Maybe your bad choices need a light change. Maybe your lack of trust, your insecurity, your fears, your childhood issues left unresolved for years, is the actual cause, and not everybody else. “…HE BEGAN TO THINK ABOUT WHAT HE HAD DONE. HE SAID TO HIMSELF…”

This is where you need to find yourself today, in Room A giving yourself a Self-Examination!

Matthew 23:26, “You [spiritually] blind Pharisee, first clean the inside of the cup and of the plate [EXAMINE AND CHANGE YOUR INNER SELF TO CONFORM TO GOD’S PRECEPTS], so that the outside [your public life and deeds] may be clean also.” (AMP);

1 Corinthians 11:28, “But a person must [prayerfully] EXAMINE HIMSELF [and his relationship to Christ], and only when he has done so should he eat of the bread and drink of the cup.” (AMP);

2 Corinthians 13:5, “TEST AND EVALUATE YOURSELVES to see whether you are in the faith and living your lives as [committed] believers. EXAMINE YOURSELVES [not me]! OR DO YOU NOT RECOGNIZE THIS ABOUT YOURSELVES [by an ongoing experience] that Jesus Christ is in you – unless indeed you fail the test and are rejected as counterfeit?” (AMP)

YOU have to work on YOU if YOU want to see a better YOU!  Repeat That At the Start of Every Morning, While Looking in the Mirror and Grooming Yourself for the Day, Remind Yourself: YOU have to work on YOU if YOU want to see a better YOU! 

Treat your self-examination like your annual physicals. It’s vital to make sure you go to the doctor and get yourself checked out Before anything happens. Likewise, you need to check yourself out daily [attitudes; motives; intentions; behavior; speech; heart] Before anything happens! Make all the necessary adjustments to make your life better.

And you may not like this, but also listen to what others say about you. And to be clear, listen to those who have your best interest at heart. Some of the people you think are just nagging you are really trying to help you. People who call you on the carpet about the way you act, talk, dress, behave, should be heard. If all you have in your inner-circle is people patting you on the back, but none kicking you in the butt, you’re in trouble. Allow people in your circle that don’t agree with everything you say and do; allow people who will tell you to your face that you’re wrong; allow people who will chastise, correct and rebuke you; allow people who will not allow you to live any kind of way (in public or in private); allow people who prick your heart when they know you’re living beneath a better version of yourself; allow people who disagree with you; allow people who don’t always see eye-to-eye with you; allow people who address your pride; arrogance; conceit; self-centeredness; selfishness; pettiness; jealousy; coveting and envy; allow people who attack your habits and addictions; allow people who will snatch that fried chicken out of your hand and tell you to get your behind to the gym; allow people who keep your character, integrity, dignity and reputation accountable; allow people who will pull you off to the side to discipline you, but also allow those who don’t care two cents about the crowd, but about your character and so they will rebuke you openly; allow people who make you change for the better, not those who help you conform to the good enough.

In all of this, it is up to You and only You to put the work in necessary for Your improvement.

Brothers, I know this was a hard one for you today, and sisters whatever brothers you share this with will not likely buy you flowers and say thank you…lol…but medicine that’s good for you rarely ever tastes good to you! And my job is not to only inspire, but to also educate and empower you to change for the better. And that can’t always be with wonderful words of poetry! Even God Himself chastises those whom He loves. 

Listen, no one who means you well will desire that you remain the same…not even you! So let today’s devotional be the kick in the butt you need to change direction. You’ve traveled as far down this dead-end street as you can go before crashing. Stop today, turn and change. Isn’t that what repentance is all about? And that’s exactly what you’re going to do. Repent…to yourself for blaming everybody else, except you. Address and acknowledge your wrongs and flaws, and determine to turn from them, change and head in a different and better direction.

When you get the man right, you’ll get the man’s world right! You are the only missing piece to your happiness. Get yourself in place so you can see the wonderful completed picture of what God has been trying to reveal to you. The life you’ve always wanted will all fall in place just as soon as you get the missing piece in place…which is YOU!

"Whenever God means to make a man great, He always breaks him in pieces first." (Charles Spurgeon)

"The good man is the man who, no matter how morally unworthy he has been, is moving to become better." (John Dewey)

"If you can feel like a good man in your 40's, you can feel like a better man in your 50's, a Superman in your 60's, and maybe a Spider-Man in your 70's." (Tom Hanks)

"Circumstances do not make a man, they reveal him." (Dr. Wayne Walter Dyer)

"If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals." (J.K. Rowling)

"The mirror of a man's heart is his actions." (Dr. Doug Weiss)

"There are no great men, only great challenges that ordinary men are forced by circumstances to meet." (William F. Halsey)

"A man must be BIG enough to admit his mistakes, SMART enough to profit from them, and STRONG enough to correct them." (John C. Maxwell)

"No man can tell whether he is rich or poor by turning to his ledger. It is the heart that makes a man rich. He is rich according to what he is, not according to what he has." (Henry Ward Beecher)

"The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively." (Bob Marley)

Much Love, Dr.Shermaine #InformativeRead #PleaseShare #HealthyBodySoulAndSpirit #IWantYou2LiveWell #FeelFree2SignUpAndFollow

"It's Not Selfish to Love Yourself, Take Care of Yourself and to Make Your Happiness a Priority. It's a Necessity." (Mandy Hale)

"Self-Care is Not Selfish. You Cannot Serve From an Empty Vessel." (Eleanor Brown)

"The Types of Friends You Need to Ditch NOW!"

 

Many of us have experienced make-overs, be it our hair, clothing, make-up, etc…but how many of us have given any thought to making over our social circle? While research shows that our friendships are super important for our health and well-being, not all relationships are created equal. “Negative friendships can cause stress, frustration, and even put you in harm’s way if their behavior puts you in situations that could jeopardize you and your loved ones,” says sociologist and friendship coach Jan Yager, PhD, author of When Friendship Hurts ($13, amazon.com).

Investing time and energy into people who don’t pay it back—or who only have toxic contributions to offer—can have a negative effect on both your physical and mental health. In fact, a recent University of College London Study found that close relationships that cause stress or worrying may even contribute to faster cognitive decline as you age! 

On that note, here are five types of friends you may want to sweep out of your life as you clean up your social and inner circle.

THE NEGATIVE NANCY:

Moods—both good and bad ones—are contagious: Research has shown this to be true in both real life and online social networks. And while there’s nothing wrong with venting to coworkers or crying to your BFF when you’re feeling low, it’s still important to balance those lows by sharing happy experiences, too. “When you talk on the phone with your friend, exchange e-mails or text messages, or get together in person, do you feel positive and optimistic—or does a particular friend make you feel bad about yourself, agitated, or even physically ill?” asks Yager. If that friend is going through an especially trying time, it’s normal to feel pulled into the drama. But ask yourself, she says: “Is this an occasional thing, or a chronic pattern that’s making it too difficult for you to handle your emotions or your own life?” If the latter’s the case, it’s time to seriously consider phasing them out.

Its’ one thing to have a friend have a bad day, but having the same friend have a consistent bad day, week, month and year, repetitively is neither good for them or you. In everything we do, no matter what it is, there ought to be balance. You should never maintain a friendship where every time you look at your phone and see their name, you cringe! Wondering every time, “what is it this time? Who said what this time? What does she have to complain about this time? Who is she calling to talk bad about this time?” When a person brings overwhelming negativity to your life, it’s time to ditch them! Sooner or later, their negative, pessimistic attitude and approach to life will contagiously catch a hold of you! One of the definitions of “contagious” is “likely to spread to and affect others.” And that is exactly what a negative person does, they share and spread their negativity. Think about it, during the winter season, we go to greater lengths than in any other season to avoid people with a cold because we don’t want to catch what they’ve got! If someone has “pink eye”, you steer clear, not even wanting to make eye contact from a distance. If someone has a rash, you don’t want them to touch you in anyway. And God help us if someone has chickenpox, surely we avoid them at all costs! Well, you need to start treating “Negative Nancy” like she has the flu, with pink eye, a rash and the chickenpox, all at the same time! You don’t want to catch what she has! So, like it or not, you’ve got to Nix Negative Nancy!

“A negative thinker sees a difficulty in every opportunity. A positive thinker sees an opportunity in every difficulty.” (Author Unknown);

“You can’t live a positive life with a negative mind.” (Author Unknown);

“Negative people need drama like oxygen. Stay positive, it will take their breath away.” (Author Unknown);

“An entire body of water of the sea can’t sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship. Similarly, negativity of the world can’t put you down unless you allow it to get inside you.” (Author Unknown);

“If you cannot be positive, at least be quiet.” (Joel Osteen);

“Don’t let negative and toxic people rent space in your head. Raise the rent and kick them out.” (Robert Tew);

“Don’t bring negative to my door.” (Dr. Maya Angelou)

THE NIT-PICKY NEIGHBOR:

You live next door to her so you’ve tried, on many occasions, to be nice: You’ve had her over for dinner, carpooled, and encouraged your kids to play together. But if your friendly gestures are mostly returned with complaints about noise or the look of your lawn, her constant demands could be harming your health. A 2014 Danish study found that frequent arguments and conflicts within a person’s social circle, including neighbors, were associated with an increased risk of death in middle age. Conflict management may help reduce these dangers, the study authors say—so the next time she picks a fight, try sitting down and hashing out your differences (or at least agreeing to ignore each other) once and for all.

However, this can extend beyond just the neighbor you live next to. This can also point to the neighbor (friend/associates) you sit next to at work and at church. You need to rid yourself of those who nit-pick at any and everything! And Since You’re Not Glued to the Chair, Move Your Seat! The term “nit-picking” is defined as “informal fussing or pedantic fault-finding.”  That word “pedantic” is defined as “a person excessively concerned with minor details.” Kick those people out of your social and inner circle that constantly complain about anything, everything and nothing, all at the same time! Every minor detail (that holds absolutely no weight of importance) they harp on that does nothing more than waste time, energy and attention, need to be avoided! And you know how to spot them too, they often make comments like: “why is she doing that? Why is he sitting there? Why is she wearing that? Who told him he could do that? Why is she picking up that piece of paper and moving it from the floor to the garbage? Why is he touching that?” Mind you, none of these things has anything to do with them, none of them hold any importance or relevance, they are just plain nit-picking-nosy! Get rid of these people from your life before you find yourself fuming mad over a piece of lent on someone else’s shirt!

“Beware, the person who’s always discussing the flaws of others and nitpicking. Avoid him as he can lead you down the path of self-destruction.” (Pinterest);

“Nitpicking can be simply defined as giving far too much major attention to unimportant minor details.” (Pinterest);

“There are some people who always seem angry and continuously look for conflict. Walk away; the battle they are fighting isn’t with you, it is with themselves.” (Positive Outlook);

“Sometimes, you have to get to a point of total frustration before you’ll be ready to make a big change. Don’t wait for what anyone else should do but hasn’t yet and likely won’t. Instead, look for what is up to you and what you can do to change the situation for the better…even if it means walking away entirely.” (Doe Zantamata)

THE BACKSTABBER:

So a friend let you down in some way, but she’s promised to make it up to you. Everyone deserves a second chance, but maybe this isn’t the first time you’ve felt betrayed by her. Where do you draw the line? Personal relationships are complex, so there isn’t a clear-cut way to decide. Yager says that in her research she’s found that what’s considered a “deal breaker” is different for everyone. “One person said that for her, it was when her former friend was not there for her when her mother died. Another woman didn’t see it as a deal breaker when she walked in on her roommate and found her kissing her boyfriend…but she ended that same friendship years later, over a work-related betrayal.” Before deciding to immediately cut out a friend who’s done you wrong—or to immediately take them back—sit down and consider all aspects of this breach of trust, including how bad it made you feel, Yager suggests. “Can you [honestly] forgive them? Do they even ask for forgiveness or apologize? Is this a one-time thing or a pattern? And what does your gut tell you about this friend, and about the future of your friendship?” These questions can help you decide whether mending the relationship is possible or if it’s time to let the friendship fade out.

You are not obligated to restore ALL things! You are NOT Jesus! At some point you have to evaluate a friendship for what it really is, not what’s in your head. You can’t keep pulling the same person back into your embrace, when experience has revealed, multiple times, that they still have knives in their hands every single time. They’re just waiting for you to embrace them once again. It’s okay to forgive, and let go, literally! The term “backstabbing” is defined as “the action or practice of criticizing someone in a treacherous manner while feigning friendship.” This is the person who only asks “how are you?” so you can share your pain, and then they can wipe your tears, and simultaneously share your pain with others. Not everyone inquiring if you’re well, really cares if you’re well! Be upfront with backstabbers, forgive (for your own sake and peace), and then if need be, to spare your own life, rid yourself of backstabbers!

“Here’s your knife back, I finally got it out of my back. I’m sure you’ll be needing it again soon.” (Author Unknown);

“People will stab you in the back and then ask why you’re bleeding” (Pinterest);

“The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies.” (Pinterest);

“Dealing with backstabbers, there was one thing I learned. They’re only powerful when your back is turned.” (Eminem);

“Everybody isn’t your friend. Just because they hang around you and laugh with you doesn’t mean they are your friend. People pretend well. At the end of the day, real situations expose fake people, so pay attention.” (Trent Shelton);

“Be careful who you share your weaknesses with. Some people can’t wait for the opportunity to use them against you.” (Pinterest)

THE CHRONIC CANCELER:

If you spend more time waiting around for this person to show up—or trying to schedule and reschedule plans—than actually hanging out together, you may want to let this friendship run its course. First, take a careful look at why your friend has such trouble keeping plans; if it’s truly a good reason, like a new baby or an ongoing health issue, ask if there’s anything you can do to make staying in touch easier. Yager also recommends weighing what you get out of the friendship against what it’s costing you. “If the cost is minimal in terms of occasional aggravation, but the benefits are huge—like the laughs you still share on the phone and the fun nights out at the movies you still have—don’t be so quick to end it.” On the other hand, if you’ve done all you can and you’re not getting much in return, it’s time to stop wasting your energy. We’re all busy. Constantly being put last by a “friend” can only lead to negative feelings that you don’t need.

Let’s be honest, we all have long agendas and to-do-lists, but there is time for what you value and treasure. No one on earth is that busy! Think about it: Even Jesus ate, slept, spent time with friends and family (and even enemies), He even wept. And clearly there is no one as busy as Jesus! Yet, He had balance to His life. And if He can, so can they. Don’t continue to be frustrated by someone who never has time for you. There’s a huge difference between someone who talks to you in their free time, and the person who frees their time just to talk to you. You should never be in a friendship/relationship where you feel you are always begging and pleading for someone’s time and attention. If they are not giving you their best, maybe they simply are not the best for you. Make sure you’re investing in friendships/relationships that are equally investing in you. If they can’t schedule you in, take them out of your schedule. 

“People make time for who they want to make time for. People text, call and reply to people they want to talk to. Never believe anyone who always says they’re too busy. If they wanted to be around you, they would.” (Simple Reminders);

“When you actually matter to a person, they’ll make time for you. No lies, no excuses.” (Pinterest);

“We all make time for what we feel is important in our lives.” (Pinterest);

“No one is always busy. It just depends on what number you are on their priority list.” (Pinterest);

“If a person wants to be a part of your life, they will make an obvious effort to do so. Think twice before reserving a space in your heart for people who do not make an effort to stay.” (Pinterest);

“Don’t give Part-Time people a Full-Time position in your life.” (LiveLifeHappy);

“Priorities: When someone tells you they are too ‘busy’…it’s not a reflection on their schedule; it’s a reflection of YOUR spot on their schedule.” (Dr. Steve Maraboli);

“We make time for what we love. Pay attention. People will show you…your worth to them.” (Joshua Ryan Stewart)

THE BAD EXAMPLE:

She drags you along on her smoking and heavy-drinking nights out. She scoffs at your new healthy eating and exercise plan and shoves the Cheetos in your direction. Whatever this friend’s fault, if you feel yourself getting sucked into bad behavior whenever you spend time together, it’s time to back off. Research shows that, in addition to bad moods, plenty of other qualities can spread among friends—including loneliness, obesity, and even divorce. Even your dietary choices can be affected by your companions: In one University of Illinois study, people were more likely to order the same foods at a restaurant as their lunch partners. You may not need to ditch these friends entirely—especially if they also have good qualities you value, or if you know they have the potential to change. But be aware of how their unhealthy habits are rubbing off on you, says Yager. Try talking to these friends about why you can’t be around them when they act a certain way, or avoid situations that enable that side of them.

If you’re more likely to behave unseemingly for your character, because you’re around a certain individual, than it’s time you come from around that individual. You want to be in an inner circle that promotes positivity, and for sure healthiness (body, soul and spirit). You don’t need someone telling you fried food is good all the time, or we can skip prayer night, or you can spend time with the kids another night, or I wouldn’t take that if he was my husband. You need people in your friendship/social circle / inner circle that compel you to do and be better. People who challenge you to be a better version of you. People whose speech is healthy, habits are healthy, lifestyle is healthy, outlook is healthy. You need people in your life who believe in Jesus, who go to church, who study and heed His word, who pray, praise and worship. But you also need people in your life that exercise, eat right, support their friends, encourage their family and are engaged in the good in life. A bad seed, can’t produce good fruit! If you want to reap good in your life, kick out the bad example!

“It is better to be alone than in bad company.” (George Washington);

“As the saying goes that a man is known by the company he keeps. Good company can make a man whereas bad company can ruin him.” (Sam Veda);

“As much as people refuse to believe it, the company you keep does have an impact and influence on your choices.” (Pinterest);

“You cannot hang out with negative people and expect to live a positive life.” (Joel Osteen);

“When you have to start compromising yourself or your morals for the people around you, it’s probably time to change the people around you.” (Pinterest);

“Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away.” (Will Smith);

“You must constantly ask yourself these questions: Who am I around? What are they doing to me? What have they got me reading? What have they got me saying? Where do they have me going? What do they have me thinking? And most important, what do they have me becoming? Then ask yourself the big question: Is That Okay?” (Jim Rohn);

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Choose wisely.” (Jim Rohn)

By: Amanda MacMillan, Health Magazine / Dr. Shermaine Y. Sanders, Self-Care with Dr. Shermaine 

Much Love, Dr.Shermaine, #InformativeRead #PleaseShare #HealthyBodySoulAndSpirit #IWantYou2LiveWell
The Goal is to Always Make You Aware of What Concerns Your Body, Soul and Spirit, So You Can Have Open, Honest and Frequent Discussions With Your Physicians and Counselors. You Can’t Treat or Cure What You Don’t Know is Sick.
  "It's Not Selfish to Love Yourself, Take Care of Yourself and to Make Your Happiness a Priority. It's a Necessity." (Mandy Hale)
"Self-Care is Not Selfish. You Cannot Serve From an Empty Vessel." (Eleanor Brown)