Feeling
down during the holidays can be tough, especially since you seem so out of step
with the world. Everyone else seems to be beaming, ruddy-cheeked, bursting with
holiday spirit. Yet,
you’re feeling wretched and exhausted.
But
here’s something to cheer you up the next time you’re stuck in a room of
revelers at a holiday party: Plenty of
them are probably unhappy, too.
“I think a lot of
people would say that the holidays are the worst time of the year,”
says Ken
Duckworth, MD, medical director of the National Alliance on Mental Illness.
“They’re just
straight up miserable, and that’s not only for people with clinical depression.”
So if the family gatherings, the endless parties, and the
shopping get you down, you’re hardly alone. But people with depression -- or
who have had depression in the past -- need to be especially careful when
coping with holiday stress. While it might take some conscious effort on your
part, you can reduce stress -- and maybe even find some holiday joy, too. Here
are some tips:
Finding the Holiday
Spirit: EMOTIONS
1. Keep your
expectations modest. Don’t
get hung up on what the holidays are supposed to be like and how you’re supposed
to feel. If you’re comparing your holidays to some abstract greeting card
ideal, they’ll always come up short. So don’t worry about holiday spirit and
take the holidays as they come.
2. Do something
different. This
year, does the prospect of the usual routine fill you with holiday dread rather
than holiday joy? If so, don’t surrender to it. Try something different. Have
Thanksgiving at a restaurant. Spend Christmas day at the movie theater. Get
your family to agree to skip gifts and instead donate the money to a charity.
3. Lean on your
support system. If
you’ve been depressed, you need a network of close friends and family to turn
to when things get tough, says David Shern, PhD, president
and CEO of Mental
Health America in Alexandria, Va.
So during the holidays, take time to get together with your support team
regularly -- or at least keep in touch by phone to keep yourself centered.
4. Don’t assume
the worst. “I think some
people go into the holidays with expectations so low that it makes them more depressed,”
says Duckworth.
So don’t start the holiday season anticipating disaster. If you try to take the
holidays as they come and limit your expectations -- both good and bad -- you may enjoy them more.
5. Forget the
unimportant stuff. Don’t
run yourself ragged just to live up to holiday tradition. So what if you don’t
get the lights on the roof this year? So what if you don’t get the special
Christmas mugs from the crawl space? Give yourself a break. Worrying about such
trivial stuff will not add to your holiday spirit.
6. Volunteer. Sure, you may feel stressed out and
booked up already. But consider taking time to help people who have less than
you. Try volunteering at a soup kitchen or working for a toy drive. “You could really
find some comfort from it,” says Duckworth, “knowing that you’re making a small dent in
the lives of people who have so little.”
Finding the Holiday
Spirit: FAMILY
7. Head off
problems. Think
about what people or situations trigger your holiday stress and figure out ways
to avoid them. If seeing your uncle stresses you out, skip his New Year’s party
and just stop by for a quick hello on New Year’s Day. Instead of staying in
your bleak, childhood bedroom at your stepfather’s house, check into a nearby
hotel. You really have more control than you think.
8. Ask for help
-- but be specific. See
if your spouse will lug out the decorations. Ask your sister to help you cook
-- or host the holiday dinner itself. Invite a friend along on shopping trips.
People may be more willing to help out than you expect; they just need some
guidance from you on what to do.
9. Don’t worry
about things beyond your control. So
your uncle and your dad get into a fight every holiday dinner and it makes you
miserable. But remember your limits. You can’t control them. But you can
control your own reaction to the situation.
10. Make new
family traditions. People
often feel compelled to keep family holiday traditions alive long past the
point that anyone’s actually enjoying them. Don’t keep them going for their own
sake. “Start
a new holiday tradition instead,” says Gloria Pope, Director of Advocacy and
Public Policy at the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance in Chicago.
“Create one
that’s more meaningful to you personally.”
11. Find
positive ways to remember loved ones. Holidays
may remind you of the loved ones who aren’t around anymore. But instead of just
feeling glum, do something active to celebrate their memory. For instance, go
out with your sisters to your mom’s favorite restaurant and give her a toast.
Finding the Holiday
Spirit: PARTIES
12. Don’t
overbook. “The holidays
last for weeks and weeks,” says Pope. “People really need to pace themselves or they’ll get
overwhelmed.” So don’t say yes to every invitation willy-nilly.
Think about which parties you can fit in -- and which ones you really want
to attend.
13. Don’t stay
longer than you want. Going
to a party doesn’t obligate you to stay until the bitter end. Instead, just
drop by for a few minutes, say hello, and explain you have other engagements.
The hosts will understand that it’s a busy time of year and appreciate your
effort. Knowing you have a plan to leave can really ease your anxiety.
14. Have a
partner for the party. If
the prospect of an office party is causing holiday stress, talk to a friend and
arrange to arrive -- and leave -- together. You may feel much better knowing
you have an ally and a plan of escape.
Finding the Holiday
Spirit: SHOPPING
15. Forget
about the perfect gift. If
you’re already feeling overwhelmed, now is not the time to fret about finding
the absolute best gift ever for your great aunt or your mailman. Remember:
everybody likes a gift certificate.
16. Shop
online. Save
yourself the inconvenience, the crowds, and the horrors of the mall parking lot
by doing the bulk of your shopping online.
17. Stick to a
budget. The
cost of holiday shopping mounts quickly and can make people feel out of control
and anxious. So draw up a budget long before you actually start your shopping
and stick to it.
Finding the Holiday
Spirit: SELF-CARE
18. Stay on
schedule. As
much as you possibly can, try to stick with your normal routine during the
holidays. Don’t stay too late at parties. Don’t pull an all-nighter wrapping
presents. Disrupting your schedule and losing out on sleep can make your mood
deteriorate.
19. Exercise. While you may not feel like you have
the time to exercise during the holidays, the benefits are worth it. “We know that
exercise has a pretty strong anti-anxiety, anti-depression effect,”
says Duckworth.
You can work physical activity into your errands. When you’re shopping, take a
few extra laps around the mall. Walk your Christmas cards to the post office
instead of driving.
20. Eat
sensibly. When
you’re facing a dozen holiday parties and family gatherings between now and New
Year’s, it’s hard to stay committed to a sensible diet. But try. Eating healthy
may keep you feeling better -- physically and emotionally. On the other hand,
don’t beat yourself up if you go overboard on the cookie platter in the break
room. It’s not a big deal. Just get back on track the next day.
21. Don’t rely
on holiday spirits (or other substances.) “The holidays are
a time of heavy drinking,” says Duckworth. “It’s a common strategy for getting over
anxiety about holiday parties or having the boss as your Secret Santa.”
Remember that alcohol is itself a depressant and abusing it will leave you
feeling worse. It also may not be safe for people taking antidepressant
medication, says Pope.
22. Try a sun
lamp. As
the daylight grows shorter, lots of people find their mood gets gloomier. While
some have diagnosed seasonal affective disorder (SAD), even people
who don’t may still have a seasonal aspect to their depression. Talk to your
doctor about trying a sun lamp. It could improve your mood.
23. If you take
medication, don’t miss doses. In the hustle of the holidays, it’s easy to slack off and
miss medication, says Pope. Don’t let that happen. Make sure that
you’re up-to-date on your refills, too.
24. If you see a
therapist, have extra meetings. To
stay grounded, plan ahead and schedule some extra sessions during the holiday
season. Or you could ask about the possibility of doing quick phone check-ins.
25. Give
yourself a break. “The holidays can
make some people dwell on their imperfections, their mistakes, the things
they’re not proud of,” Duckworth tells
WebMD.
But try to cut yourself some slack. “This is not an easy time of year for a lot of people,”
Duckworth says. “Be gentle with yourself.” It is the season of
kindness and forgiveness, after all. Save some of it for yourself.
By R. Morgan Griffin; Reviewed By Louise
Chang, MD on September 28, 2011
SOURCES:
Ken Duckworth, MD, medical director, National Alliance on Mental
Illness; assistant professor, Harvard University Medical School.
David Dunner, MD, director, Center for Anxiety and Depression,
Mercer Island, Wash.; professor emeritus, department of psychiatry and
behavioral sciences, University of Washington.
Mental Health America web site: “Holiday Depression and Stress.”
Gloria Pope, director, advocacy and public policy, Depression
and Bipolar Support Alliance, Chicago.
David Shern, PhD, president and CEO, Mental Health America,
Alexandria, Va.
The Goal is to Always Make You Aware of What Concerns Your Body, Soul and Spirit, So You Can Have Open, Honest and Frequent Discussions With Your Physicians and Counselors. You Can’t Treat or Cure What You Don’t Know is Sick.
"It's Not Selfish to Love Yourself, Take Care of Yourself and to Make Your Happiness a Priority. It's a Necessity." (Mandy Hale)
"Self-Care is Not Selfish. You Cannot Serve From an Empty Vessel." (Eleanor Brown)
The contents of the WebMD and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine Sites, such as text, graphics, images, and other material contained on the WebMD and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine Sites ("Content") are for informational purposes only. The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on the WebMD and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine Sites!
If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately. WebMD and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine does not recommend or endorse any specific tests, physicians, products, procedures, opinions, or other information that may be mentioned on the Sites. Reliance on any information provided by WebMD, WebMD employees, others appearing on the Site at the invitation of WebMD, and Self-Care With Dr. Shermaine or other visitors to the Sites is solely at your own risk.
No comments:
Post a Comment